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Attracted to my therapist

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Posted 2/28/2009 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
I think I have become attracted to my therapist. I am 35, male and my therapist is female. I'm currently recovering from drugs and depression. I can't stop thinking about her. I want to desperately believe it is possible to be more than just a patient with her. I don't know if I should just be totally honest with her or just try to remember that she is there to help me and I can learn a lot from her. I really don't want to switch therapists again, either. But my feelings for her are overwhelming. Should I just try to hang in there and just try to learn as much as I can from her? I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
Posted 2/28/2009 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Short version - I think this is common thing for those in therapy. Also I think that the therpists are trained to look for it. She's probably already aware of it. If you feel it's interfering with the therapy, then it probably should be discussed. A way to do it might be to ask something like, "Tell me some about the therapy process. Is it common for those undergoing the therapy to feel like they might be attracted to the therapist?"

I think as part of the ethics of being a therapist, she can not have a relationship with you. It's a conflict of interest. People who are in therapy are particularly vulnerable and stuff like that.
Posted 2/28/2009 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
moonman, I was attracted to my first phychiatrist. She was easy to talk to and that made it easier for me to open up. I received the best help from her than any of the following doctors. It was hard when she changed the location of her practice and I had to say goodbye. But I would do it again. She helped me tremendously. I just had to realize that we had to keep our relationship professional. The other doctors that I have had did not seem to really understand what I was going through. Maybe it was just me. The other seemed more programed, professional. Treated the symptoms instead of the person.

Posted 2/28/2009 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
This is a hard one to call. I can see how that would happen. But I would try to keep the relationship professional. If it would make you feel better, I would be honest about it. Otherwise, as you said, it is a learning experience. Just be careful that you don't expect her to feel the same way about you. She is trying to help you.

I am glad that you do have something happy in your life. And I am happy that you found us. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
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