I just want to cry

I fined my self alone in a room with people. I'm having other problems to, but I feel so sad right now. I can't get around right now and there is so much for me to do. My kids don't want to help, so everything keeps piling up. I want to go to sleep and wake up when I can do everything. I had foot surgery, so I'm moving slow. and I'm not sure if my manic part is trying to come out and can't, I know my skin is crawling. Today is not a good day.



Dawn

about five years ago I truly felt like I didn't want to be here anymore.  An idiot broke my heart, I was struggling with arthritis and fibrmyalgia and trying to support 2 kids on my own and my wonderful kids were being typical teenagers.  I think what helped me most is going to my dr. and getting anti depressants and then going to a counselor.  I only went to the counselor a couple of times, because those were free thru my work but it was a start.  And my one true friend who listened to me whine and cry.  It took some time.  Maybe even a couple of years before I really wanted to be me again but it happened.  I'm still alone, but that's ok.  I still have arthritis and fibro and a multitude of other things that keep me in constant pain but that's ok too.  So what if your house isn't clean.  Mine isn't.  Find that person you can whine to and cry to and take your pills and one day you will wake up and you will be in control again.  Find new things that interest you.  Get a fish or a puppy or a hobby but get out of yourself and let your soul heal.  And one day soon you will laugh and smile and really mean it.  But most of all, please know that you are wonderful and I hope that very soon you realize that even if you are the only person in the world who knows how wonderful you are that's ok too.  And when all this is over and you are back to being yourself you will realize what a strong woman you are because you picked up the pieces and did what you had to do to get better and you survived it.

renie

You are so not alone. I like what renie said though.

It takes time, but making an effort is sure worth it when you feel better again. Dont give up...I've done that before and things get worse and worse, but when I put forth effort and do more positie things, I felt better about that...and then I would feel better. So, dont just let yourself give up...working toward happiness or even content is not always easy. You can do it.

Im 17. And I know how my mom is sometimes when she asks me to do something, and I dont want too....and then I feel bad because I recognize how it makes her feel. I can tell alot of the time when shes depressed and feels like nothing at all. I try to do more for her and stay out of her way. So, I can imagine how you feel that your kids wont help you.

You can get through this, take care

Dear Dawn,

I understand the frustration of having surgery as I had foot surgery and I could not believe how it slowed me down literally........I could not stay home as the healing process was to be extended and I would hobble to work and try to keep my foot up on a chair..........have you ever tried that and work on a computer in an office?? 

I went back to the doctor and he was not happy with the swelling etc so he put me in a camWalker boot so my ankle would not bend..............man I could fly with that on but I was quiet noisy as it squeaked with every step.  I was sorry I had the surgery done at the time and for the first year I could wear nothing but tennis shoes.......how chic was I?

Everything did finally heal and now I need hand surgery with rehab....I am stalling, in fact I have stalled for 3 years  .

You have a right to feel frustrated but you will heal and you have us so please feel free to vent away and we are here to help you through.

Blesssings

Kitt

I want to thank everyone for there good wishes. I has having a very hard time but I'm some what over it now. The kids are the same but, I'm able to over look most of the mess. I'm just happy I can come here when I'm not feeling good, it helps so much. I see a therapist every other week, I just had to get it out of my head.



THANK YOU ALL

Dawn

Hello Dawn great to hear you won the battle!