complete despair

Hi everyone. 

      Im not looking for advice like take meds and find a therapist or anything - i have done that and I am trying.  I am just needing someone to talk to because I feel like I am about to explode.  I cry myself to sleep almost everynight.  I cried all day yesterday and I feel like crying today.  I feel like the biggest waste and see no point to my life what-so-ever.  Everyday is just a burden.  I get up and survive through another pointless day.  I see no hope for me and no way out of the pain and suffering i live with everyday of my life.  No one can help me.  I pray everynight God would put me out of my misery.  I used to go to church but i don't even feel any connection anymore when I go.  Its like I sit there in silence shaded by a million tears.  I am so lost.  I don't know who I am and there seems no answer to the questions I have.  I hate my life and I wish so bad I was normal.  I don't feel important to anybody.  I just feel devastated, loneky, sick, and in pain.  Please pray for me - if yall pray, think of me.  I don't know how much longer I can take this.

 

Hi Gabby123,

Before I start, I just have to say that maybe you haven't been given the right medication. There are so many different ones. But that is all I will say about that.

Gabby, you are a very important person, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. You are prescious to this world. You are a very crucial part of the life that we are living. You have a place here. So don't think that you are insignificant. Because you are not. You are worthy, you are special, you are kind and compassionate, and most of all, you are you.

Maybe try taking some long relaxing baths with candles and music. Use oils to make yourself feel better. I notice when I get depressed the first thing that goes is the self nurturing. I really have to push myself to do things to help myself feel good. Do something nice for yourself and quit beating yourself up for everything. You are a good person, treat yourself that way.

Hugs, Karen

Gabby,

I'm glad you've come and expressed your thoughts to us. You aren't alone, and I understand the feelings you're having as I've had them before. You aren't a waste though. Sometimes we don't see the reason's we're here, but we have to plug on and one day things make a little more sense. Just because you don't see the point in your life doesn't mean that there isn't one. You just haven't found it yet.

A friend of mine had me list things that I'm happy about in my life. Start with writing down 5 things. It does actually help even though it seems silly. It reminds you that there are good things about you.

Praying that things start getting better for you!

Gabby! Please don't let the despair overwhelm you!

I don't want to give you advice or preach to you I just want to let you know that this world and this life having terrible but also amazing things for all of us in it! Do not let the bad blind you to the good. I think a lot of the time all of us just need to allow ourselves some freedom and room to move. Let go of some of your responsibilities and think of the happiness and wealth your life has to offer. All of us here understand how you feel and appreciate you feeling comfortable enough to confide in us. I am here for you so please don't despair, if nothing us we will do our best to help you see the good.

Gabby123,

I cried a lot too. i am now on Zoloft and it has helped so much.

i know the feeling of just wanting to cry all day!

Meds do take that feeling away.

remember you are not alone!!

Dottie

Thank you everyone for your replies and I appreciate all of you.  I am feeling a little better mentally and the despair is not as strong right now, but I'm still struggling a lot.  I have gastroparesis and I just cant deal with this anymore.  After 6 years of struggling with it I just feel like I cant struggle anymore, the pain is just too much for me to handle.  The thought of me being sick like this the rest of my life is just unbearable to me.  I only eat about 1,000 cals a day or less...usually not even that much.  I;m still on the neverending search for a doctor that can help me.  Been looking for over 3 years and havent found anyone.  Im frustrated and sad over this ailment in my body. 

-Gabbs