Well all, everything went very good today! I think it was just a conflict of not feeling comfortable or meshing with the person I was seeing. The lady I saw today was such a different experience. I'm really comfortable with her and she totally understands my needs and goals. She made me feel at ease. We actually went through my file while I was there because I told her that I really didn't have a great understanding of what I'm experiencing and I've been so desperate looking things up on the computer. The Dr I saw in Jan when I started all this, actually wrote down several different things. Bipolar, Dsthymia, Major Depression and Postpartum Depression. The therapist told me that the Dr didn't even really know at that time and that the docs plan was to figure that out as she saw me. Well too bad I wasn't informed of that properly because all this time I was under the impression of bipolar because that's the only thing the Dr told me. So I've been really trying to understand it and was so confused at times because I really couldn't relate to it. Anyway I'll be seeing a new Dr next month and my new mission is not to focus on a diagnosis but just get a understanding in depth of my symptoms. The new therapist I saw today also told me that she doesn't see this other side of me as mania (which I was feeling the same way and couldn't relate) that it could be a form of anxiety and obsessive thinking. Which I CAN relate to. She also talked about Abilify which Karen you have mentioned to me and I also thought of it as well. So I'll be discussing that with the Dr.
It's so weird because I just feel so at ease about everything now, almost like a new beginning. What happened today just justifies to me that this year will be my road to recovery!