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Please just pray for me.

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Posted 4/28/2009 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hey I just need some prayer which I beleive in with all my heart. My wife has only 2 weks left of school. She is still depressed and I am wore out. The last 2 months I have tryed everything I could to lessen the burden on her . I have worked my full time job , cooked cleaned , did the laundry ,bathed my almost 3 yr old son . As well as tryed to get him to daycare and pick him up so my wife can get all her papers done. She is on the waiting list for consouling but its not going to happen till school is out. I found it intresting reading the other posts that someone said that when they were depressed they actually tried to be hurtful to their spouse. I do think things are better then 2 months ago but dont know if that is me just wanting to see things the way I want them to be. She did say last weekend that she still wants another baby if she can get through her issues . I would think of this as a positive thing . We also have started fixing up our house something we have been putting off for years. She does occasionally talk about we have to get this or that for a particular room ,but still we sleep in seperate rooms and how I long to hear her say she loves me. The funny thing is I know what brought on this depression on top of all the stress and no sleep but wont dare address it until after she is done with school. I am human and have said things that were mean when we have had arguements in the past .The thing is I never meant them but the cut to the root of her self esteem issues from when she was a kid . She never beleives I am attracted to her though every day she takes my breath away just to see her smile . There are days where I can see te love in softness in her eyes from before she was depressed but other times like today she has this hard zombie look. As hard as it is I try not to take it personally,but it is hard. I hope when she is done with school, and starts to get some rest she can see how much I love her . In the meantime all I can do is love her unconditionally which is what she deserves.Thank you for letting me vent.
Posted 4/28/2009 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cowboy,

I believe in the power of prayer with all of my heart, too. God has lifted me up when I have been powerless to move on my own, and I know no better or truer example of unconditional love than His love for us.

I can see from your posts, past and present, how very hard you have worked to help your wife and to take care of your family. It’s no wonder you are worn out…..anyone would be. It’s especially difficult to keep up your strength when positive feedback and reinforcement is limited.

I do think that your wife’s desire to have another child with you, once she is getting help for her issues, is a very positive thing. To me, it shows a plan for togetherness for the future, and a wish to further deepen the bond that you share as a family. Working on renovations to your home with you and showing an interest in re-furnishing, etc., with you tells me that she cares about your environment and anticipates a life with you in that home in the years to come. I also remember how emotional she was when you gave her flowers on her birthday, and how she chose your wedding song as the ringtone on her cell for receiving calls from you. I think those are all signs that the love and commitment is still in her heart.

I give you a lot of credit for thinking through past discussions and seeing how certain words might have made her feel. It takes a lot of courage, IMO, to face things like that. I’m sure there have been times when your wife has wished she had not said certain things to you, too. The important thing is that you are committed to helping your wife through her depression, and I don’t doubt for a moment that she sees that commitment, even though she may have trouble acknowledging that to you right now.

This time in school has been a long haul for her, and I know that there will be opportunities for rest, for change, and for counseling once the session is complete. I do realize that two weeks seems like a long time when you’re so exhausted, Cowboy, but please hang onto your faith, and trust God to keep you strong.

I hope you will come back and let us know how things are going. I will continue to pray for you and your wife and son, and I hope very much that the upcoming counseling will bring both support and relief to your family. God bless you.
Posted 4/28/2009 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
Cowboy,

I too am saying prayers for you and your family. And I think that your wife is sending some promising signals to you. Be optimistic about this, but take it one day at a time. The two weeks will go by fast and your wife will have some time off work. Hang on, you will get there in time.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/29/2009 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cowboy,

 

You have my prayers and know that she will get better.  Keep on beliving.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

Posted 4/29/2009 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Cowboy,
I will definitely say a prayer for you & your wife to not only make it through to the end of the school year, but maybe even start to turn the corner before then.

I'm not sure whether you'd be interested, but I had a similar childhood to your wife's & really found one book in particular to be helpful to me & those who cared about me to understand how different people perceive that others care about them. Everybody's different, so maybe it's not something that would be helpful in your cases, but I thought I'd share the name of it with you & you can make your own decision. It is called the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I normally get pretty irritated with "self-help" books, but this one was straightforward enough that it didn't bother me. Hopefully it, or some other resource, will be helpful to you.

peace,
frances
Posted 4/30/2009 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
Cowboy,

You and your wife have my prayers for a resolution to this rough time. From what I read, she is lucky to have someone like you that loves and cares for her so much. With your love and support, I pray that she and you as well can overcome this for a lifetime of happiness.

Acuragrl2002
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