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Posted 5/1/2009 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone I haven't been here in a while. I'm not really feeling so much depressed but I've been lonely, not knowing what to do with myself and feeling blah. When we came back from our trip I was still on a happy streak for a couple of weeks, was actually feeling ok with the way life was, almost like just being in the moment and not worrying about the future. I started selling all my baby stuff and other misc items, that was making me happy, it was actually fun and nice to make the extra money. It just seems when being ok and feeling happy start drifting away I begin to worry. I know we can't be happy all the time but my fellow friends you know what I mean. I'm just so tired of not being steadily ok. I don't know if some of you remember the friend I met in my neighborhood, we would meet once or twice a week to let the kids play and we would have eachothers company. Well the last time I saw her everything was normal, just told her to let me know about the following week. I never heard from her and I ended up emailing her last Friday to see how she was and that I'd always be up to do something, well I still haven't heard from her. It's basically been 2 weeks. So I automatically start thinking it's me. So it's been hard not being able to do something with someone. I get frustrated at myself because when I make plans with someone I have no problems getting ready and getting me and my son out. But how come it's so hard for me to leave when it's just me? I feel let down because I kind of relied on someone else to make my life a little better. I'm tired of not having anyone I can talk to or be around. I had plans to go to school but I seriously can't figure out nor to I feel like it what I want to do! I know school will be good for me, I actually have plans to not take online courses depending on what I qualify for with the pale grant and all. I'm hoping to put my son in daycare so I can go take the classes. I just need to be around people and get my mind and body working. I hate coming down from being ok for once! I've been on effexor for 2 weeks now, I haven't had any problems but I just don't know what to think anymore. I wonder if it's just me, is it the medication, why can't I just be a happy person! I've just been feeling so mute lately......One thing I can say that has enlightened me, my son started potty training last sunday, to my surprise he's been doing really well! It enlightened me because I didn't realize how rewarding potty training is for the parent lol!!! It was something I was dreading but the fact that he was ready, made it all so easy!!! Thanks for listening!
Posted 5/1/2009 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Wish,

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely and ‘blah’ these days. It would be so great if we could be on an even keel and anticipate feeling good, or at least “steadily ok” as you put it, but life is so unpredictable, and full of ups and downs. And so are our moods, especially when we have tendencies towards depression.

I’m sorry about what happened with your friend. I never understand why people just let things drop like that, instead of taking two minutes to email and say that they’re not up to it, too busy, overwhelmed by other people or things, etc.. I guess sometimes people get caught up in their own stuff and don’t take the time to put themselves in the other person’s shoes, and think about how their silence might affect that other person.

The important thing is that you don’t beat yourself up over it, or assume that it’s something you said or did. There are a million possible reasons why this friend has not contacted you, and thinking that it’s you is so damaging to your self-esteem. Sometimes we’re not meant to be with a person at certain times or for certain reasons, whether it be a friend or relative or romantic partner, and we don’t always understand what those reasons are. Just remember to tell yourself frequently throughout the day that you are a kind, loving person, and a good friend, and someone will come into your life to be a good friend to you, too.

You mentioned that you have been taking Effexor for two weeks. It’s been a long time since I’ve taken A.D.s, but I think many of them can take up to 6-8 weeks to take full effect. Perhaps someone else here can comment on that, but you might want to give the meds a little more time to get going.

Also, I wonder if there are any play groups or mommy-child activities in your community that you could attend…..either through a school or church or other organization. That might be just the ticket for you, to get you out of the house with your son and meet some new people.

Congrats on the potty training!!! It’s great that you two are having so much success with it. I hope that these milestones with your son are helping to lift your spirits and give you a feeling of success.

I wish you the very best, and hope that things will get better for you. (((hugs)))
Posted 5/1/2009 3:59 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Hope,

I am just dropping in to say I hope you are feeling a bit better now.  Congratulations on the potty training.  That is a great accomplishment, next it will be teaching how to tie shoes. :)

Hugs at you,
Kitt

Posted 5/1/2009 4:49 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Hope,  I think what the others said is what I would tell you too.  The Mom and kids groups are a great way to meet people and for your child to have some others to play with.  I think this would be good for you.  As for the a/d meds it is true that they can take from 6-8 weeks and your dr. may have started you on a lower dose and may build it up to the full theraputic dose slowly. So don't be discouraged.  You need to give it time to work.  The other thing I have so say is sometimes life is just OK.  We can't be happy or excited all the time.  What I strive for in life is to find peace and contentment.  Life always has its ups and downs and if you can achieve peace in your life I think this will give you more of a feeling that your life is good. I hope this helps you.]

Aurora


Post Edited (Aurora60) : 5/1/2009 1:14:44 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/1/2009 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone, I know that I need to give the meds time, I was on different meds but just switched to the effexor. I'm just hoping it isn't the effexor that's making me feel flat. I'm hoping my mood will straighten out. As for the moms groups, I can join one but I had a bad experience when my son was just a baby and just never felt like joining one again. My son already goes to daycare twice a week, atleast he can get the interaction with kids that way. I agree raniah, it would be nice if she could just say anything about why I haven't heard from her but I guess these things happen huh? I just feel very flat like I have no emotional responses to anything. Feel like I have the energy to do something but nothing sounds appealing to go by myself. I hope I'm not the only one that doesn't have any friends. Is it normal to really not have any? Sometimes I feel my situation is my fault because I haven't really ventured to change.....I always seem to think the little things are the answers like meeting someone at the park, keeping myself busy selling stuff or going through things and organizing looking forward to my SO's days off etc.....But it always dies down and I look around to find myself in the same situation. Hopefully that makes sense. I'm just rambling but also just want to know if anyone can relate? I know things will get better eventually I guess, I need to go to the school next week, my SO offered to go to dinner tonight because he knows how I'm feeling and I get to see my mom tomorrow. I look forward to all that but I know when it's all over I will still wake up to my house be alone with no real sense of a life or so it feels that way.......
Posted 5/2/2009 12:14 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Wish, if you think your med may be making you feel the way you do you might want to talk this over with your dr.  It took me quite a few tries before I found the right a/d for me.  As far as meeting people, i'm afraid that the best advice I can give you is that it is necessary to join something in order to meet friends.  There are so many things you can do.  You can take a class, join a book club, be a volunteer.  What opportunities are there in your community?  It takes a bit of investigating and I know you are not feeling like doing this right now, but keep these things in mind for the future. As far as the moms groups, just because the first one wasn't a great experience doesn't mean that a new one won't be good.  I don't know how old your child is but I can tell you that once your child is in school you will meet other mothers and can make friends. When my kids first went to nursery school I volunteered in their classrooms and that is how I met the group of friends I have today.  My sons are in their 30s so these are very good long term friendships.  I truly wish you the best and hope that things will improve for you.  Life can be good if you have a positive outlook.  Take good care of yourself and post anytime. I will be glad to reply to you.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 5/2/2009 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
wishdreamhope, I can very much relate to what you are feeling, like being loonly and not having someone to do stuff with. I don't have any real friends anymore and I often go dine out and watch movies alone and slowly I got use to it, but I'm not content on keeping things this way. I do live with my parents but we don't do much stuff toghether, sometimes I take my dad on walks or coffee that's about it. I try to keep myself buesy, I like fixing things like computers, printers and other electornics so all my relatives always ask me for help and while doing that I get to spend extra time with them , and it feels great to help others out too. so like others have suggested find some activity you enjoy it could be painting, walking, groups, or some volunteer work anything that interests you to do with others. maybe you could even join an aerobics class they are fun and you get to meet new people there, I Love aerbobics it's fun. maybe a dancing class where you could meet other people who like to dance, or even take piano leasons and join some group of musicians. find a hobby that gets you buesy, something you can look forward to do. ohh you could also join a dating site on the internet and meet new people and make new friendships. keep all options open. good luck to you!
Posted 5/2/2009 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to write a quick note, thank you all and I finally heard back from my friend yesterday, when we were together a few weeks ago she told me she was pregnant with her 2nd! So I was thinking that maybe something happened....Well it was morning sickness, so bad she had to go to the drs to get pills so she could keep food down. She was really sorry she meant to email me sooner but everytime she would anticipate getting back to me she was just too tired. So, understandable!!! I'm just glad I know now! My son also started getting sick yesterday and still has a low grade fever so I'll elaborate and write more to your responses at a later date!
Posted 5/4/2009 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Well I'm back and I have to correct myself I've been on the effexor for 3 weeks tomorrow. I do think that I will give the Dr's office a call because I seriously don't like the way I've been feeling. Anybody else out there that has taken effexor? It's making me feel nothing and completely flat. My son is ok, turns out it's one of his 2yr old molars thats coming in! So with him not feeling good the whole potty thing went out the door! Which really had me worried but I'm trying to get him back on track. Anyway, maybe I will look into something I might be able to do until I can start school. There is a YMCA just down the street.....I'll have to look into it! Hopefully I'll be getting together with my friend this week, I heard from her it's all in my post above. As far as the meds, I'm just so leary about starting anything else now. I sought help in Jan and it feels like I haven't gotten very far.....Also what other meds are out there that treat depression and anxiety?

Posted 5/4/2009 5:02 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Hope,

Have you been on the Cymbalta?  I used it for about 18 months or so.  It did help but I have weaned off now and am going with just Buspar for anxiety and Valium to help in high anxiety situations.

I do feel clearer off the med then I did on.  I had the best luck with a Tricyclic, Nortriptyline.  Nortriptyline is a second-generation tricyclic antidepressant.  It does not have an anti-anxiety properties to the best of my knowledge but as an AD it worked great for me.  I always took it at night.

Just FYI.  I do want you to find a med that is right for you.

Hugs at you,

Kitt

Posted 5/4/2009 6:32 PM (GMT 0)
I take effexor and abilify. Also xanax for anxiety. This combination works well for me. I don't get that 'flat' feeling. That is a good way of saying Hope. I still feel emotions, just much more happier.

I hope that you find what works for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/4/2009 7:45 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Kitt and Karen,

I haven't tried cymbalta but I do know that the Dr first wanted to put me on paxil cr but he said there could be possible weight gain, so that's why I went this route with effexor. I wonder if I should just go with the paxil. Anybody with any thoughts on paxil. I will call my Dr's office this week and let you all know what happens. Thank you so much!

Posted 5/5/2009 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Wish,

I can't offer much in the way of advice on the meds, but I wanted to pop in here and tell you how glad I am that you found out what was going on with your friend. You must feel so relieved to know. Also, I hope your son is okay now....you mentioned he was getting sick a couple of days ago. Keep the faith, and good luck with your treatments. :-)
Posted 5/6/2009 5:06 PM (GMT 0)

My Doc prescribed Celexa for depression and anxiety.  I have not been on it long enough to know if it will work, but already I am sleeping better.  I am living proof that if one med does not work keep trying, you will find the right combination.  I do have a co worker who was on Effeczor (sp) and she was really in zombie land.  I do not relate to people very well and really do not have any close friends.  So when I do start to connect with people, I think I try too hard and it kinds of turns them off.  I will have to work on that.  I do not think we were put here on this earth to be lonely and isolate ourselves but depression seems to do that to you.  My Doc told me to stop being so hard on myself and I guess I am.  How do you un-learn that trait?  If you figure it out, let me know.

Gem

Posted 5/6/2009 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Gem,

I think you're right about depression making us want to isolate ourselves. It certainly does that to me when I am feeling really down. I have had to re-learn a lot of things through therapy, and one of those things is how to be less hard on myself. I'm still working on it, but it's getting better. I have found CBT (Cognitive behavioural Therapy) to be really helpful with that. CBT teaches us to recognize our negative, destructive thoughts and turn them into positive, beneficial thoughts. The idea is that by changing our thinking, we can change our perceptions of the world and of ourselves. My therapist uses CBT with me, but I know there is also a free online program called "The Mood Gym" that a lot of the members here use with success. Perhaps you will want to look at that.
Posted 5/6/2009 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks gemini for your response.....I called the Dr's office yesterday and I can't get in until the 15th, my doc is only there on fridays so this friday was full. They will call me if there is a cancelation but otherwise I'll have to wait. So I will discuss what other options I have. I'm really leary about taking something else since I have only been on this med for 3 weeks. But it's better now then later right? I think everything will start smoothing out once I get this fixed and back on track. I just need to figure out what I can do with myself so I'm not so isolated but since I haven't been feeling good and don't really feel myself maybe things will start coming to me when I feel better. Thank you for the support!

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