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New here.....wondering if anyone else has these days

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Posted 4/28/2009 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone.

New here and just felt like I needed to express how I was feeling.

I have my good days and bad days. Sometimes, I feel like crying for no reason. I try to think what reason I have to be sad.. can't really come up with anything. I always tell myself there are people I know that have a genuine reason to be sad and I just need to 'suck it up'. It helps for a while. I feel like I am just going through the motions. I don't find joy in anything right now. I used to be an avid reader...I can hardly read 5 pages at a time right now.

I don't have a significant other in my life right now. I've been divorced 4 years. Sometimes I feel like I want someone in my life..feeling lonely. Sometimes, I don't want to open myself up again like that.  I just feel like I am all messed up inside.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I feel like I don't have anyone I can talk about this stuff with.

acuragrl2002

Posted 4/28/2009 6:16 AM (GMT 0)
acuragrl,

Yes, I definitely have had days like those. In fact, I think I felt like that more often when I felt I didn't have a reason to be depressed than I do now that I've lost my job, my savings &, in the past week, 2 members of my extended family. Sometimes our feelings just don't make sense, but that doesn't make them any less important or less real.

I'm not sure what you're looking for, but if it is really disrupting your life, maybe you might consider talking to your doctor about what's going on. It's possible that your crying & lack of interest in activities are due to a physical cause & IMHO a doctor's visit is always the best place to start to see if anything can be ruled in or out. Personally, I didn't do that right away & things just kept getting worse. Eventually, I did go to see both my PCP & GYN. My GYN found out that my hormones were all out of whack & started me on BCP. Within a few days I was already feeling much better. My friends & co-workers immediately noticed I had more energy & seemed more attentive during our conversations.

If it's not physical, maybe you could try a professional counselor. Whether or not your comfortable with that, I know that I and other members here are happy to support you as much as we can. Just let us know if there is anything in particular we can help with.

best wishes,
frances
Posted 4/28/2009 11:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Acuragrl,

Welcome to our group. I'm sorry you're feeling so down these days. I'm recently divorced myself, so I know how hard it can be to put yourself out there again. Frances had a really good suggestion about seeing your doc to find out whether your symptoms are related to a physical cause. It also wouldn't hurt to talk to him/her about ways of handling your depressed feelings. I have found this forum to be a wonderful source of support, and I hope you will, too. I hope you will feel comfortable to keep posting to us.
Posted 4/28/2009 12:11 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry about how you've been feeling, I hope you feel good very soon. Definitely see a doctor to rule out anything that may cause these feelings. I know this difficult time WILL pass you by, and you will be ready to read many books at a time:D! Keep us posted. God bless.
Posted 4/28/2009 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

I see you have already gotten a warm welcome to the forum. I know that you will find everybody to be so kind and compassionate. That is what I love about this place. Everybody understands what it is that you are going through.

I too agree with talking with your doctor, to see if there is anything physical going on, if not then a good professional counselor would probably help too.

Stick with us, continue to post, as we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/29/2009 3:44 PM (GMT 0)

acuragrl2002

 

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. I am so glad you found us.

When your fears and depression have the best of you, it is easy to feel that things will not get any better. This is not true. There is much help available in today’s society and the best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them.

You never know when the answers you are looking for will come to your doorstep. Even if the thing that you feared does happen, there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. These factors can change everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you feel fearful or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.

For example, your afraid of feeling sad as you have no reason to be sad and others are worse off then you. This depresses you, however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is you have a right to feel sad and your feelings belong to you. You are not taking away from others that are worse off then you. Your pain and sadness are real.

Please know that we are here and we will help you through so stick with us. 

Gentle Hugs to you,

Kitt

Posted 4/29/2009 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
hi guys am 31, i have never liked my self from childhood though everybody calls me pretty which i dont believe, my whole life is a mess. coming from a broken up family step brothers and sister .am married for 7 yrs and always have lied in my life because i cant tell the truth about my life and now i feel its time for me to get over it .its like am living in denial, i am always down and ending up drinking which is not good for me. always feel guilty for nothing i dont really know what to do i always want to be that person that am not you know what i mean please people help.
Posted 4/29/2009 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi By30,

Welcome to the forum. I can tell how much you're hurting, and I'm truly sorry. It's true that drinking isn't good when a person is depressed, as alcohol itself is a depressant, and it's a slippery slope to becoming addicted to it. I do understand, as I used to use alcohol to numb myself from my overwhelming feelings of despair. I can tell you from experience that it makes things worse in the long run, as I am sure you already know. Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? Is he supportive? I would recommend speaking to your doc about your troubles, and perhaps he/she could prescribe something to help you and/or recommend a counselor who could provide you with a listening ear and good solutions to help you to heal. I would like to hear more about your story if you feel comfortable sharing it. This is a wonderful and compassionate place to talk, and I hope you will come back again.
Posted 4/30/2009 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
You guys are great! Thank you so much for the supportive commpents. I know you probably have heard this before but it felt really good to type the post. Sometimes it feels like I am on a roller coaster...my mood goes up and down. By30, I agree with Raniah about its not good turning to alcohol when you are depressed. I tend to do something like that...just not with alcohol.

I am so glad I found this site with such wonderful, supportive people. I plan on listening to everyone's good advice.

Till later...


Acuragrl2002
Posted 4/30/2009 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hi ACURAGRL2002,

Welcome to the forum, I am so glad that you posted here and that you already feel better. That is what this place is all about. We have many kind members here who are so compassionate, as you have noticed already from Raniah's post.

I think that you have gotten a grip on what you need to do to help you through the depression. Writing things down really does help. And as Raniah has said, if you feel comfortable, share a little more ane we will be there to support you.

I hope that you are having a wonderful day today. Keep us posted,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/2/2009 1:21 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Acuragrl, Welcome from me too.  I agree with what the others have said.  We all have good days and bads days.  If you are feeling the way you are now it is a good idea to have yourself get a checkup with your dr.  You may be depressed and in need of some meds.  Are you working  or do you have children?  I know how hard divorce is and the feelings can last for some time.  You are not alone about this though as others have said.  I too am divorced - I guess I am the "oldster" of the divorced people here as I have been divorced for 25 yrs. I did have a relationship for five years with someone but it did not work out.  And I was so busy raising my sons by myself, working full time and I took care of my elderly mom for 10 yrs.  I guess I have been on my own for so long that I don't feel the need right now for a relationship.  I wouldn't mind a companion for dinner or a movie but I am not looking.  I take my comfort from the friends I have and make plans with them and that gives me hapiness. I also do volunteer work.  I am looking for a part time job but that is not going to happen anytime soon.  I just want you to know that you will have many friends here and we all support each other.  Feel free to post anytime.  There is always someone here who will answer you and give you help or answer your questions.  It is important now for you to take good care of you.

Aurora


Post Edited (Aurora60) : 5/1/2009 7:28:17 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/2/2009 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Acuragrl,

I'm glad you came back. Life itself is a roller coaster, and loneliness and depression can make it even more of an up and down trip. I hope you will continue to share with us as you feel comfortable.




Hi By30,

I think your post may have gotten lost in the shuffle here, but I meant what I said earlier, and I do hope you will come back. If you feel that you are living in denial and want to start opening up, this is a great place to do it.
Posted 5/2/2009 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
hi acuagrl, it is good that you still have those good days between bad days, my days are mostly the same being bad days with good days very far inbetween I can't even remember the last good day I had. but I got used to it now it doesn't hurt as it did before. I wake up everyday having nothing to wake-up for. when I wake-up I always wakeup late, I check my mail, have lunch since I wake-up so late then if it's a wednesday I check the paper to see if there is a new movie. I keep waiting to hear from the numerous job applications I have sent-out but I always get nothing back. I have nothing to look forward to. on fridays I have some joy to watch star academy show for 2 hours, but when it ends I'm back to my boring life. if I get to watch a new exciting movie I get all excited and happy but when it ends so does my joy and I feel empty again.

anyway, good luck to you, on you journey and I wish for you more good days and things to look forward to.
Posted 5/3/2009 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
hello acuagrl,

as i was reading your post i thought that it could have been me writing it. most of the thoughts you have also have plagued me. my situation in life is a little different (i am married) but i still find myself being pulled under in dark thoughts and with no real justification for them. i am not so bad off if you look at the big picture and i know that but when i start to self doubt it's hard to see anything beyond that. so why am i feeling this way? what is the cause? a chemical imbalance? anyway, i am thankful for your post and for the others who commented to it. it gives me hope as well and i wish you the absolute very best.
Posted 5/4/2009 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Nixie,

It does feel good to know we aren't alone in our thoughts and feelings. I have been having a pretty good couple of days. I haven't felt very sad at all. I am on Zoloft and I wonder sometimes why I still continue to feel 'blah' at various times.

In the short time I have been on this board, I have felt much better. Its good to know we are here for each other. I wish you the best to and keep commenting on these boards.

Till later,
Acuragrl2002
Posted 5/4/2009 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Acuragrl,

Just stopping in to wish you a great week and remember you are never alone.  You can always come here and talk to us.

We are here and we support you so keep on having those good days and kick the bad days to the curb.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 5/4/2009 2:13 PM (GMT 0)
By30

Hello and welcome to HealingWell. I am glad you found us.  Perhaps if you start a thread of your own we could all get to know you better and you won't be lost here in another thread.

 

You deserve your own thread. :)

 

Again welcome,

 

Kitt

Posted 5/8/2009 12:19 AM (GMT 0)

UPDATE: cry

Not sure if this was the right thing for me to do or not. I was feeling better after I started posting here. Then, I got involved with an old flame...started feeling really happy. Now, it seems that he has stopped talking to me now all I want to do is cry. Was I crazy in basing my happiness on my involvement with someone else? I went from being sad and depressed...to being happy when I was taking to him...to feeling confused and sad. I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping well. Its like I am consumed. I have this awesome friend and she is so good at listening to me rant.

Confused and sad...

Acuragrl2002

Posted 5/8/2009 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
Try to remember the happy feeling that you had with him and keep that feeling. We are in power of our own emotions. You can feel that good without him too.

Best wishes, I hope that you are able to feel better. Keep trying and keep posting as we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/8/2009 2:26 AM (GMT 0)
This is an awesome site. You guys are the best. Thank you for your words and insight.

 

I think what I tend to do is try to base my self worth and happiness on having (or not having) a significant other in my life. I look at my friends and co-workers and they seem so happy and care free and they are married with children and I long to be in their shoes. Someone at home that loves me and me feeling happy and content. Most days I feel like I have nothing to be happy about.  I'm on Zoloft but my mom wants me to try and get off because of the weight gain issue but I don't know if I can. If I miss a few days taking it I can tell a major difference in my temperment. I know the doc would wean me off but I am afraid to do that.

 

Again, thank you for reading my posts. This is a great outlet for me as I feel I can speak my mind and feelings without being judged or pitied.

 

Acuragrl2002

Post Edited (acuragrl2002) : 5/7/2009 8:46:37 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/8/2009 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe you could try a different antidepressant instead of going off all together, there are some that don't have weight gain as a side effect.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/9/2009 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
I'm going to mention to my Dr when I go in a few weeks how I have been feeling and see what she suggests. The thought of going off of them terrifies me. I hate feeling like I do....just down in the dumps and 'blah'.

Will keep everyone updated.

Acuragrl2002
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