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Posted 5/31/2009 12:07 PM (GMT 0)

Hello I'm new to all this.

I think this all started after I got a divorce 8 years ago and it has been getting worse. Im at the point that I'm not sure what to do anymore. 

At night I cry uncontrolably until I fall asleep and then fight with myself just to get out of bed. There are days I wish I would never wake up.

I sit and think about my life and  I have not done anything with it. I recently moved back in with my parents because I lost my job becasue of these feelings. I feel like I take one step forward and two back. I have to fight just to get something and then turn around and lose it. I don't have anyone to talk with, I have secluded myself so much I have no friends, I have my family but as time passed I grew more distant from them and seperating myself from them. My mother is negative about anything I say and my father well he just responds without any thought or reasoning like "It's all in your head". I have 2 brothers that are married and have children a older and younger I tried building a bond with them to see if it would help, My younger brother he likes to play sports so I joined a summer softball team with him hoping to get closer, That didnt work we are just as distant as before. My older brother likes playing online video games so I started playing them with him hoping to get us closer and again its all the same. So now im at the point Im not dont know where to go or what to do. I had dreams once of getting married and having children but now its like I dont care. I have no motivation to do anything or care to do anything. I just want to sit at home and sleep. Im was a religious person and now I lost faith I just dont understand what I did to deserve this. I have never done anything to anyone, I wish everyone the best.

Im sorry if this post sounded random but its like my mind is cloudy and I cant think straight at times. Please any help or suggestions or someone to talk with would be nice !

Posted 5/31/2009 12:24 PM (GMT 0)
TateTate

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. 

I am so sorry to hear of you depression and I hope that you can find some comfort here with us.

I am wondering if you are on any medications or have you ever been in therapy? Also may I suggest that you make an appointment with your PCP for a medical screening exam to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to you depression.


In some cases, your primary care doctor can treat your depression. In other cases, you may benefit from treatment with a qualified mental health provider, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker.

Try to be an active participant in your depression treatment. Working together, you and your doctor or therapist can decide which treatment options may be best for your situation, depending on your symptoms and their severity, your personal preferences, insurance coverage, affordability, treatment side effects and other factors. In some cases, though, depression is so severe that a doctor, loved one or guardian may need to guide your care until you're well enough to participate in decision making.

Please know we are here to support you .

Take care,

Kitt


 

Posted 5/31/2009 12:28 PM (GMT 0)
dear tate,

first, welcome to the hw depression forum, 2, u have just started your recovery. u have a lot on your mind, depression is not something that is given to people because of badness, loss of faith or any other thing. depression is a medical condition, thus, i would strongly suggest you talk with your doctor. depression comes in many ways, and manifests differently for different people. even the term depression is somewhat insular; this is because of the variants of such, i.e. cyclathymic depression, situational, magor depression and so on, i feel that talking here will greatly benefit you, but strongly i would seek out a counsellor that your comfortable with to address and work on the stuff that is causing you to feel this way. your doctor may know of someone whom is compassionate, also your doctor may prescribe medication to help you feel, and deal with stuff a little better. healings to you, the hw community are beautiful people, i am sure you will receive much soon. take care of you. jamie, male, 37

Posted 6/1/2009 6:33 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the quick responses, Its nice to know that some people understand and care !
I'm scared to see someone about this I'm afraid there going to tell me something I dont want to hear. Honestly I can talk myself into it the night before and by morining Its like I lose faith in myself to do it and somehow I talk myself out of it and tell myself that I need no meds or someone to tell me about myself. I keep trying to hold onto my faith in God thinking that I will snap out of it but then again I remember something I heard a long time ago "God only helps those that help themself" and then it goes down from there and I crawl back to my hiding spot and try to sleep it all away. I guess Im waiting on that one thing/person to PUSH me there. Like tonight Im telling myself that I will set up a appointment for the week but I know how that will end !
Posted 6/1/2009 7:24 AM (GMT 0)
okay tate, it will be me! nike-just do it!! and then you can post me, this, hey jamie, just did it!!!!!!! i have faith, in me, in u, and in the universe. 1 step at a time, make the appt, keep it and let me know, if okay, how it goes. beleiving in you and your life, is beleiving in your higher power, thus you are living for you, and god. this is a gentle push, one that is being done with the upmost compassion and love. take care of you. jamie
Posted 6/1/2009 10:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi TateTate

Please have an appointment. I am sure you will feel much better. Our good wishes and support is always with you.
Posted 6/1/2009 2:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tate, Please don't be afraid.....counseling can do amazing things for a person who is suffering. It feels so good to have an objective listener who can hear your story and help you to sort things out. I know things look very bleak to you now....I have felt the same way in the depths of depression, when it seems like there is no hope. There is ALWAYS HOPE. Please reach out for it. Talking to us here is a great step towards healing. Please make that appointment.....you deserve to have that support and to start feeling better.
Posted 6/2/2009 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
tate, a big yes to raniah, u deserve to feel better, u deserve help, take care of you. healings, jamie
Posted 6/2/2009 6:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tate, if you can talk to us, you can talk to a counsellor or doctor who can help you. Please take this momentum and our support and go with it. The question is, what have you got to lose? You've tried lots of things and you're right, we can't just snap out of it or we would. Who wants to feel like this? no-one. So please get help, and know that we've done it before you and it helps. It takes a strong person to reach out. Good luck xx
Posted 6/3/2009 10:22 AM (GMT 0)
tate, grizzly is spot on, we have been there, and for some, alike me plus some!!!! you can do it!! thx grizzly, excellent info. jamie scool
Posted 6/3/2009 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the support I finally did it and made a appointment. My Doctor gave me some samples and a prescription for Pristiq. Now I have a question how is  Pristiq compared to Effexor I took Effexor along time ago and I saw no difference !
Posted 6/4/2009 7:18 AM (GMT 0)
ah, tate, pristiq. made from effexor, a derivative, me swapped to pristiq from effexor xr, 375mg, 4 years, last 3 months pristiq, 200mg. the weaning from effexor to pristiq is less than most other anti-deps, 4 me, 3 or 4 days, and not 2 weeks. pristiq more lifting, during the day wereas effexor xr is more sedating, effexor xr is also used as a sedating component with depression. hope this helps. janie
Posted 6/4/2009 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
Tate, Congratulations on the appointment! Good job! I hope the Pristiq will be helpful to you. Please hang in there, and keep us posted.
Posted 6/4/2009 1:26 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Tate:  I'm new to the forums and am struggling with my husband's depression. Tate, thanks for sharing what you did.  And congratulations for taking the step.  You will be helpful in that you are an example of someone who DID something, which is what my husband has to do.  So in helping yourself, you are also helping others.  Thanks you and great luck.  Keep going....

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