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depression or bipolar?

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Depression
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Posted 7/12/2009 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
i just spent a week in the hospital and now i'm thousands of dollars in debt. all the free support groups i've tried to go to get cancelled.
Posted 7/13/2009 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Tess, How did it go when you were in the hospital? Did it help you at all?
Posted 7/14/2009 5:21 AM (GMT 0)
being away from home made me a nervous wreck. they put me on seroquel and hydroxyzine but they wouldn't put me on an antidepressant even though i've been depressed every day since march. now they think i've got borderline personality disorder.
Posted 7/15/2009 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, Did they give you any plan for therapy or treatment for borderline personality disorder? Are they going to follow up with you? I hope so. You deserve lots of support.
Posted 7/15/2009 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
i went to a psychiatrist yesterday and even though the doctor at the emergency room said that he wanted my meds adjusted the psych refused to do that. today i had an appointment at a community health office, their sliding scale thinks that i can afford to pay 90% of their full fees, they told me to stop taking seroquel because it's making my mood swings worse and to go to my general practitioner to see if they'll put me on zoloft because i was on zoloft about 5 years ago and i didn't have a bad reaction to it like i have to all the other meds i've been on. i have an appointment with my gp on friday and with a case manager on monday, to see if i can get medical coupons.
Posted 7/15/2009 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
and i'm trying to keep a journal so that i can track how i've been feeling more easily and so that i can figure out why i'm depressed but so far no luck on even starting to figure that out.
Posted 7/15/2009 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
i was just writing in my journal and i started crying when i wrote down that i feel like i'll be laying on my deathbed in about 50 years still wishing for a different life and looking back at 50 wasted years instead of just one.
Posted 7/15/2009 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
Tess,

Your life hasnt' been wasted, it is just your life. And that is how it is. You will get better and be able to enjoy life. A lot of it comes from how we look at things. Maybe you should get a book on CBT. It has really helped me. There is a book called Feeling Good by Dr. Burns. I think that you should read it. It is very helpful. Not everything is black and white, there are several shades of grey in between.

You can do this Tess. I know that you can.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/16/2009 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
what's cbt?

i actually was feeling good for a few hours straight last night, but took forever to fall asleep again. i woke up feeling ok except for being worried about my sleeping pattern. about an hour ago i suddenly started feeling extremely stressed out and i can't figure out why.
Posted 7/16/2009 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, I'm glad you're keeping a journal.  That is something that helped me a lot when I was having a deep depression.  It's really good to get your feelings out like that. I like Karen's suggestion about CBT.  It stands for Cognitive behaviour al Therapy.  It teaches us to examine the way we think about things, and adjust our negative thoughts so that we feel better about ourselves and the world we live in.  I think it's really helpful.  The book that Karen suggested is really good.  Also, there is a free online program that a lot of members use, called the Mood Gym. http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome Maybe you would want to check that out.  I've heard it's really good. Stick with us, Tess.  We really care about you.
Posted 7/17/2009 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
i can't tell if i'm having physical symptoms of depression or if i've caught a virus
Posted 7/17/2009 4:20 PM (GMT 0)
It is very possible that you have caught a virus. Or allergies. There is a lot of both going around this summer. But depression can leave us not feeling so good.

Raniah has some good ideas for you. And the CBT is really good. So please check that out.

I am happy that you felt good last night. But dwelling on your sleeping patterns can cause you to not sleep good. Try not to think too much, just live.

I hope that you are feeling better today. Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/17/2009 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, Karen is right - it could be a virus that is causing you to feel unwell. Get lots of rest and eat well, and don't hesitate to see your doctor if you still have symptoms. Keep us posted - we always want to know how you are doing.
Posted 7/18/2009 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
i did alot at that mood gym site but it took me a while, was kinda emotionally exhausting trying to do more than a few minutes at a time.

i'll ask about cbt next time i have an appointment with a therapist. i found a place that does dialectic behavioral therapy, they're in a town 25 miles away but they have one therapist closer, they're gonna call me on monday to start setting up appointments.

my general practioner put me on zoloft today. i was on it about 5 years ago and i stopped taking it because it kinda made me emotionally numb but it didn't backfire like all the other meds have so i'm gonna try it again.

i was actually doing better today then someone who used to be my friend tried to contact me. he thinks he can bully me then ignore me for months then expect me to still be his friend. but i've given him plenty of chances and he's let me down so many times. i hadn't even thought about him in a long time. i hope he leaves me alone.
Posted 7/18/2009 2:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, I'm glad you are trying the mood gym. Don't push yourself too hard....just pace yourself and do what you can in small steps. I know it can be emotionally exhausting. I'm glad you are considering DBT, too.....from what I have read, it is one of the best treatments for borderline personality disorder. It's good that you are back on the Zoloft now, especially since you didn't have any bad side effects the last time you were on it. I hope it helps. Try not to let your friend get to you. We have to be vigilant about the people we surround ourselves with in our lives, especially when we are depressed. You should focus your time and attention on people who will be kind and supportive to you. You deserve that and nothing less. Take care and keep us posted. (((hugs)))
Posted 7/20/2009 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
i went to a support group tonight and felt worse afterwards
Posted 7/21/2009 9:38 AM (GMT 0)
tess if you are possibly dx with borderline personality disorder i can help. jamie.

ps. dialectic behaviour therapy is excellent. esp with affective and personality disorders.

keep well and safe. keep fightin' .

Posted 7/21/2009 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, What happened at the support group? Do you feel like talking about it?
Posted 7/22/2009 4:45 AM (GMT 0)
the doctor at the hospital thinks i have porderline personality disorder but she said she wasn't going to official give me a diagnosis. i have an appointment on thursday with a counsellor who does dbt.

support group was mostly a pep talk. everyone spent a few minutes to share if they wanted but i didn't cause i knew i'd start crying and no one would be able to understand me.

i go to bed depressed and i wake up depressed. i'm tired all day but i take hours to fall asleep at night. i think it's been over a week since i've slept for 8 hours in one night.
Posted 7/23/2009 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
i had a dream last night that my mom tried to drown herself
Posted 7/23/2009 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, I hope your appointment with the DBT counselor went well today. Please let us know. It's hard when you are not sleeping well.....I find the same thing, and it makes me more depressed when I can't get good quality sleep. The scary dreams make it tough, too. Your dreams will probably be better once things settle down with the depression. Please keep us posted, and know that we care about you. I would love to hear how your appointment went today.
Posted 7/23/2009 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
my appointment is in 3 hours
Posted 7/23/2009 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Okay - well, good luck! I hope it goes really well. (((hugs)))
Posted 7/24/2009 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
the appointment was mostly paperwork but we realized that i already have a few skills that i've been using so now i can try to use them more
Posted 7/24/2009 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess, Thanks for letting us know. I'm glad you found out that you already have some skills in place to deal with this. That's a great start. I hope things will get better for you soon.
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