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Depression or Bipolar Part 2, for Tesslynn84

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Depression
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Posted 8/15/2009 10:59 AM (GMT 0)
mmmm, just remember that this happens from time to time. maybe some small goal setting with your therapist would help. a thing for me was, and i still do this is to do at least one positive thing a day. your life has sooo much purpose, your fighting against yourself, this in therapy is the hardest step to combat, after this it gets easier and much more productive. with loving compassion. jamie.

ps. your wall may need to come down a bit for you and the therapist. by doing so you give trust, and via this you receive it. validation is crucial in therapy. i feel you are worried about judgement and or invalidation. hey been there, the releif comes off your sholdiers when you are able to express and receive validation and non-judgement. and yes it feels like a mountain of internal weight is removed. hoping you keep well. with loving compassion. jamie

Posted 8/16/2009 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
i've opened up to my therapist a lot i think that's why it's so painful

i think the anti depressant i'm on is making me numb, it dulls the depression but now i'm also not interested in trying anymore
Posted 8/16/2009 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tess,

Have you mentioned to the doctor what you feel about your anti depressant? You might need something different.

I haven't been around much because I have been working. I just wanted to pop in and say hello.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/17/2009 12:29 AM (GMT 0)
i've tried so many other meds and reacted much worse to them, i'm afraid to try anything else
Posted 8/17/2009 1:15 AM (GMT 0)
started getting depressed a little before that last post about an hour ago and it still hasn't lifted
Posted 8/17/2009 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Try to think happy thoughts. I hope that you feel better soon. I am sorry about the medicatrion problem. Have you ever tried abilify? It has helped me a lot. It is for obsessive thinking and for bi polar, though I am not. Maybe a little. But it is one of the better meds that I have found. And I tried a lot of different ones too.

I hope that your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/17/2009 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
i tried abilify for two weeks and all it did was make me severely dehydrated.

i've been getting steadily worse for the past 4 hours.
Posted 8/17/2009 9:13 AM (GMT 0)
tess, your depression may be the resistant type. because of the level and intensity you may want to look at other options, i.e. light-box and or ECT. ECT worked extremely well for me when i was rock bottom, something to think about. if you would like some info on ECT and how it works i will be happy to share what i know and my experience using this treatment. with loving compassion. jamie
Posted 8/17/2009 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
Jamie,


What is ETC? Just curious..

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/18/2009 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
is ect the electro something therapy? i tried that once and all it did was make me feel stupid for a few hours. i had a sunshine lamp for a while but i don't think it helped and now it's missing. i checked the email notification box but it's not sending them.
Posted 8/18/2009 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
ECT is electro-convulsive therapy. the porocedure is done under anaesthesia, either 1 or both polars of the brain are done. you receive a very minor shock where you have the smallest of seizures. fingers and toes riggle, sorry one flew over the cookoos nest was 40 years ago-so the treatment is safe and effective. the shock is around 1.2 seconds, it helps to re-boot the brain. for effectiveness to happen a course of ECT is usually recommended, and here in oz it is a standard practice. 1 course=6 treatments, 3 first week, 2 the following and one final. ECT does not fully work for people who only receive 1 treatment.

yes you do feel wonky after, yes there is minor memory loss, but let me tell you that when this passes you feel fantastic. a lot of people have maintenance ECT as well. please remember that ECT is for severe and resistant depression only. only in severe cases will it be used as an adjunct treatment for depressive psychosis. the treatment put me back on track, yeah i have been down, but not as frighteningly down when i had treatment. here we call ECT as having treatment, this is because of the stigma certain people have attached to it. it is safe and very effective. obviously the course, the individual and other relevant matters come into play before the notion of ECT is suggested.

because it takes about half an hour to set up, anaethetise the patient, and do the proceedure it is therefore perfunctory that the suitability for effectiveness is established first. the studies i have seen show ECT to be a very effective treatment for the purpose it serves.

jamie

 

Posted 8/18/2009 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
Tesslynn,

Is it like electric shock therapy? My mom had that done when she was alive. But I have never needed it. Not yet anyway. You probably have therapy resistent depression. That is hard to live with. I hope that you find something that works for you. You deserve to be happy. Not sad all of the time. I wish it was just that easy to be happy. I am happy most of the time since I am on the medications that I am on. They have helped a lot.

I really wish for you to be happy.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/18/2009 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
the zoloft is numbing the depression but it's numbing my other feelings too. i've lost what little motivation i had to live.
Posted 8/18/2009 4:29 AM (GMT 0)
When you tried the abilify, did you try it with another medication too? I take abilify, effexor and xanax too.

The effexor fights the depression. The xanax fights anxiety and the abilify is for obsessive thinking and a mood stabilizer. It sounds like you could use a mood stabilizer. But the combination works good for me. And there are other mood stabilizers out there.

I really want to seee you start to feel better. Can you go for walks and use an ipod or something to block out the thoughts? Just enjoy the walk and the music.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/18/2009 6:14 AM (GMT 0)
i've been on i think 7 different mood stabilizers and reacted badly to all of them, lithium was the worst. music doesn't help anymore. right now i'm angry at my mom for abandoning me but i barely feel it. it's like my emotions aren't even there and i've lost my will to live.
Posted 8/18/2009 9:09 AM (GMT 0)
dear tess,

i understand your frustration with meds not working. a few yrs ago, in hospital a nurse asked me to write all the meds i have been on to combat my mental illness. it was over 50, and some i forgot, and some i probably do not know still. the number would be over 60 now. i want to give you some confidence, i am on meds that are working, still tinkering though. i think you are in the tinkering phase. give the doc a chance to help you find the right treatments.

i fully understand that you are in a bad spot at the moment. but things do get better. after not seeing my family for 2 and a half yrs, twice and becoming homeless and living on the streets for 2 yrs, to living in a crisis centre for 3 months and living in a decrepit mens refuge for 2 yrs, after 28 admissions, ECT, 4 and a half yrs of psychiatric counselling, a 6mnth inpatient stay, ptsd due to a sequale of abuse as a child i have made it through, still battling, but what got me through was me, what will get you through is you. fight with every sinue in your body. i am extremely worried, i only told you some of my story, well the important bits, not to make you feel bad, i would never do that but to INSPIRE you. your LIFE is precious, i do not want you to be continually sad. it will get better.

with my thoughts and prayers-i wish you peace.

jamie.

Posted 8/18/2009 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
it's getting worse, i came home from work because management was once again harrassing me about what i'm wearing even though it's completely appropriate and professional. then i get home and read an email from my mom telling me that my dad has been keeping mom and i from talking to eachother  i tried calling the crisis line but they can't understand me.

Edit:

Discussions of suicide and self-harm are not allowed,  If those are issues for you, please seek immediate help, the forum is not the place to discuss them. Rule # 1:

Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/18/2009 12:58:02 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/18/2009 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
Tess,

Try to get yourself together. Call the crisis line again. I am worried about you. I have to get ready for work. But I wanted you to know how special that you are to all of us. I am sure that everybody else is worried too. So please call somebody. There are suicide hotlines in the depression resources. Maybe you should call one of the numbers.

Please take care of yourself and reach out for help.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/18/2009 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
they can't understand me on the phone, and the suicide hotline gets routed to the same crisis hotline
Posted 8/18/2009 7:01 PM (GMT 0)
Tesslynn84

I am so sorry you are feeling so desperate.  Please present yourself to the Emergency Department if your have no where else to seek help.

With kindest personal regards,

Kitt 


Posted 8/18/2009 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
the er and being hospitalized doesn't help
Posted 8/18/2009 8:07 PM (GMT 0)

Tess,

The ER or hospital is a safe place for you.  Many people will present to the ER looking for help and someone to talk to on a one to one.

Can you tell us what would help you?

Sincerely

Kitt

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