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Posted 10/4/2009 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Things are going better than they were a year ago I was really in a bad shape. Right now I have the best girlfriend I could ask for and she's really the only reason Im okay and alive right now..
My mother is the problem..theres just constant abuse from her constant everything and just today she decides to bash me and call me a liar in front of my gf and i suffer from paranoia so now i think she believed her and my mother just never cares to understand me. never has and prolly never will. instead of asking or talking to me she just yells and yells and curses me out until she gets tired leaving me feeling like crap and Im so sick of it I wish i lived in a home where i was listened to and affection was showed alot because money isnt everything. And im just really depressed because even if i try to talk to her nothing goes right and I have tried before and i feel my life is just one living hell but when i try to talk to people they just tell me im a drama queen that its no big deal and that i should just move on..i need help you guys..
Posted 10/4/2009 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Babsy,

Are you working? Or are you going to school? If I were you, I would get a job and save some money so that you could afford to move out. It sounds like you are young and it is hard at the age that you are at.

Have faith that your girlfriend doesn't look badly upon you. She probably didn't even pay attention to what your mother said. But if I were you, I would just talk to your girlfriend about it, and make sure that she realizes that you are a good person.
Posted 10/4/2009 8:29 AM (GMT 0)
you are a good person. keep strong. talk with your gf. with undersanding and compassion. jamie

dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Posted 10/4/2009 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
Ya, presuming you knwo what people think is gonna distory your relationship with anyone. Talk with her and let her tell you what she thinks.

An d i'm sorry about your mother, but i think it's gotta be your choice not to beleive what she says, and do something about it.

Good luck... i'm sorry
Posted 10/5/2009 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
hi, i am so sorry you are going through this. my mom wasnt that bad but she did hang up on me once when i was eight when i chose to stay with my grandma and not here, and also called me a failure when i failed my math profciency and she has told me she has hated me to on multiple occasions, not to mention she once took off when i was on a trip to florida when i was seventeen so i know how you feel. first off, dont let her get to you and stand up for yourself. if you are over 18 get away from her, you dont need that. if you are under 18 i suggest going to your guidance counselor and talking to her and telling her how your mom is. you do not deserve this nor do you have to take it. she is toxic and you need to leave her out of your life and work on loving you. you are responsible for making yourself happy and if that means cutting her out of your life then so be it. now im not saying that depression is not real, cause it is i have seen it. i am saying you are responsible for taking the steps needed to make yourself happy. i am learning that as well. i have a semi good relationship with my mom now, only cause she got sick with hep c and i am her caregiver but that took years and years of work and i will never have the relationship i long for with her. if you need to talk i am here
Posted 10/5/2009 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
thank you you guys you have no idea how much you've all helped things are just going even more downhill..my gf broke up with me today..I feel guilty because I feel like its my fault since yesterday I posted a note online and her mother saw it (im a girl btw...) but i never counted on her mom seeing it seeing as she never was online but she did and then my gf broke up with me cuz she didnt ant to get tormented by her mum and I told her (not the mom) that it mightve been my fault cuz of the note and she hasnt talked to me since......I just feel like a giant failure..
Posted 10/5/2009 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
you are not a failure. obviously this girl was not ready to come out of the closet just yet and is more worried bout what her family says than what you did. it is not your fault. i suggest that you go get some counseling as it would do you really good.
Posted 10/5/2009 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
I cant afford a counselor though..thats the only thing that has been stopping me
Posted 10/5/2009 12:34 AM (GMT 0)
then a pastor they tend to help
Posted 10/5/2009 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
Babsy,

Here are a few free sites that might help you.

http://ecouch.anu.edu/welcome

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

http://www.teencentral.net/

http://forums.teenhelp.org/

All of these are free sites that you might want to check out.  I don't know how much they can help you.  But I am sure they can help some.  Have you tried talking to a school counselor?  Are you still in school?  There are programs through social services that can help you too.  Also with in the mental health itself.  Keep trying.  Ask questions.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 10/5/2009 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
babsy are you ok. how is things going today? you can also get a free counselor by going to certain govnment places. im not sure where to go but i will ask my mom as she has had to do this.
Posted 10/5/2009 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
Things went okay I guess...in school I ran into the bathroom and cried and I aw her after school and she looked so beautiful...but she made me tell her what was goig on and i confesed that suicide thoughts had crossed my mind and she seemed mad but normal at the same time...and she was wearing my chain...i feel like I messed things up by telling her...

And I told my parents thru websites that I was depressed and needed help...they seem more understanding now than they were before but I dont know what to do I feel like a piece of me died....
Posted 10/5/2009 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
And thank you karen :')
Posted 10/5/2009 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
I think it is better that you told her. That way she knows where your head is at. Honesty is best. And I am sure that she will understand after she thinks about it for a while. Give her a little space to sort things out. Often you don't realize how the other person feels to hear this. They feel that they don't mean enough to you for you to want to live. Often they will blame themselves. So reassure her that you aren't thinking that way.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/5/2009 8:55 PM (GMT 0)
yeah...shes not even talking to me now after when i saw her cuz i was like all depressed and didnt even wanna give her a hug at first i cant do anything right haha now shes mad at me too...:(

and i did
Posted 10/5/2009 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
its funny...she acts like shes already all better and like nothings happeneing and im suffering for no reason
Posted 10/5/2009 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
You are suffering for no reason. Don't worry, just be happy. It is easy. And I know that you can do that.

Just let it go and go with the flow of things.
Posted 10/5/2009 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
she DID give up on me......she rather leave me than be with me.....*** right?....i reckon you're right....
Posted 10/6/2009 10:25 AM (GMT 0)
if she isnt talking to you send her a email explaining why you felt that way and that you dont want to leave this world but that they are just thoughts. i still strongly request you see a doctor and possibly get on medications.
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