just a waste of space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 today i feel like i'm just a burden on everyone in my life and they all make it very clear that I'm only needed when they need the computer fixing or doing Mum and Dad's housework everyday or i'm just a lazy "cow",they go out for dinner or wherever and i never get an invite anymore!!! My daughter is 22,a drug addict since the age of 15yrs when she met the father of my 3yr old grandaughter Tahlia. The only time my daughter ring's me is when she is in trouble with the law,but other than that i'm not good enough for anybody as i dont live up to there expectations!!!! I really have had enough,I'm a waste of space and air on this earth.

Hi Sweetie,

Like Serafena said, You are not a waste of space. You are a wonderful human being. Worthy of love and understanding.

I am sorry for the way that your family is treating you. But you might need to learn some assertiveness so you can express things that you want and need.

Stay with us, we are here for you. We understand how you feel.

Hugs, Karen

 hi to all thx 4 ur reply's. yes i'm having a bad day again and i'm just getting tired of it all. I dont have the strength anymore to put on a happy face for my family when i really dont feel happy,so why should i keep up this stupid facade???? i live with my parents at this time due to my ill health and financial reasons. Could i ask a question to anyone that has children please? If your grown child lives with you would you charge them $120.00 per week plus i pay all my own bill's utilities ect also i buy all my own food and also give money towards the rego on my mums car. But the worst thing to me is being told by my mum that i have to do all of the housework,washing,ironing and everything else to be done on a daily basis regardless of how bad i'm feeling and if i dont do it i just feel guilty. My mum and Dad would take my last 5cents from me if they could as their life revolves around money money money!!!

And today for instance my parents went to help my sister out. while they were out i did all the housework,washing,ironing and the rest. Then when they walked in about 1/2 hour ago they just looked at me and said nothing??? I do everything in my power to do everything that has to be done and i just keep on being treated like a piece of dirt. All i want is to talk to my Mum about a few things but that's to hard for her as usual. I have a daughter but would never treat her like this ever!!!! and she has robbed me and caused alot of trouble with her drug addiction but i dont hold it against her, i just love her unconditionally........... sorry but i need to vent

i know what it feels like to be not noticed and be the one to go to when people want something, it feels like crap i know it does,

people ignore the good and only see the bad, people only see the good when its been taken away



i hope you find what your lookingfor, or find what you need, god knows everyone does

take care

(I edited your post extensively to bring it in line with Forum Rule #4. No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun off, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and well-being are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat. Please review the forum rules www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=46&m=106997 before posting again. -- serafena)

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 10/26/2009 9:39:47 AM (GMT-6)

Hope you get to feeling better. Some people or family who have never dealt with depression do not know or understand what we are going through. They think that by insulting their loved one that it will somehow arouse them and cause them to snap out of it. I know it's difficult to take, but don't blame yourself for their ignorance. You are loved even though other people don't know how to show it. Just try to keep your head up high and know that you are a wonderful person and what you are going through is an illness which can be helped with proper counseling and perhaps medications. I know because I have been there! Take care and hope you get to feeling better.

gentleman k

 hi to all hope ur all doing well?? i had a look at my second post from yesterday and i really didn't explain it properly. The issue with the housework for instance,i have to clean the house from top to bottom everyday regardless of how i feel, but mostly the house doesn't need to be done each day as it's spotless!!! I'm a perfectionist so everything is in it's place and as i said the house is just so clean,so why do i have to do it every day?? The answer to that is my parents being on a power trip with me. It's like the other day i ran out of toilet paper and asked if i could borrow a roll till i got to the shop,and i have an ileostomy and need my toilet paper,my Dad said "do the ironing and pay me $3.50 and you can have one" that's how pathetic my family are. Also Karen suggested that i ring someone, that's the problem nobody wants to talk to me about any of my issues as they are all to wrapped up in there little "world" but without me in it. I honestly dont know why i bother anymore as all I do everyday is something for someone else and NEVER for myself!!!! Sorry i'm venting again. My head is so mixed up and confused today and i cant think straight...... Get me out of this hell hole please......

I ALSO WROTE THIS POEM LAST NIGHT

 

MY HOUSE OF COMFORT........

 a  friend i find

hidden in my mind,

I race toward the finish line.

Ive found my resting place,

for my soul to roam.

 

standing in the rain,

helps relieve the pain

i'm naked and crying

releasing my feared dreams,

with an evening of no sun,

or moon,this rains down on me

as i ponder my home with a house

under a tree. I'm now living to

finally be free.

 

I've now found my resting

place for my soul to roam,

i've finally found my true

home. My house of comfort.

 

UNDERSTANDING........

it's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited

time on this earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up,we will then begin to live each day to the fullest,as if it was the last one we had!!!!!!!!!!

rose-bud40

The best thing that anyone has ever told me about suicide is that not only does it hurt the people around you but it hurt's the people you haven't even met yet. You can write beautiful poems. What if one day you wrote a poem that help someone in need? If your time is up you will never get the chance to help that person. The world needs you in it. You will meet people and change them forever. Live for your future and try to see the good in others no matter how dark.

Everyone here loves you. Look at what a big response you got off one post. We all care for you.

beverely, rest. find a quiet spot just for you. worried. jamie.

Beverly,

You should be able to lay down if you need to. Can't you just shut your door so that they wont bother you when you need ot rest? You don't deserve to have your life so restricted. Maybe you could move out.

I hope that you get some much needed rest.

Hugs, Karen

hi Karen thankyou for ur reply. I went to have a lay down thisafternoon at about 3p.m. just for 1/2 hour, then 10 minutes later Mum and Dad came home walked in and said what's for dinner tonight bevrley?? I just cant get any time for me!!!! I hate this existence,it's just not worth being here anymore.

best wishes to you to Karen,your a lovely lady,

beverley.c.

Rose-bud40, sorry about my stupid advice. I was just trying to help. But, then I can't even help myself, so I guess I should realize I can't help others. Anyway, if I offended you, that was not what I was trying to do. Trying to assess a situation from just a few sentences is not a good idea. And I should know better. Hope you get sometime alone to nap or whatever soon. Please don't take this the wrong way. I do tend to be too frank and I know I annoy people. But, that is not what I was trying to do.

Maybe I should just shut up. I talk too much.

Beverly-

If you are paying your parents that much in rent I am certain you could find a small flat of some sort for you and your daughter (if she lives with you) this alone may relieve some of the pressure you are under. Your parents sound overbearing, I am sure they love you in their own way. But the pressure they put you under is doing nothing for your mental health and that my dear should come first in your life right now.!! Start out slow, regain some strength and self assurance and take every small accomplishment with pride. You are a fanatastic daughter for all that you do......whether they see it or not is their loss not your failing.

Hugs to you.......Hang in there!!!

-Jenn

 hey Blue Eyes how are you? I'm just letting you know that i just read ur post to me and i am shocked that you even think that i'm angry with you?? Darling this is not the case ok. You have said nothing wrong to me at all. I just put in my post that i didn't mention the s word!! As you know we are not allowed to use that word,so i just put it in my post. Please forgive me as i never even meant for this to apply to you at all.

And please dont be upset with me Blue Eyes, we all read into thing's in a different context. Your a lovely person to even reply to me so thankyou!!!!! Ur very sweet.

best wishes,

beverley.c. xx