divorce

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am no judge, so I don't know what to tell you about your alimony. It sounds like your husband wasn't very suppportive of you, especially with your illness. But I have no knowledge of the laws or the percentage of his money you should get.

I myself do have fibromyalgia, and I can tell you honestly it is no fun. But you with your degenerative disc disease, you should be able to get some disability. Have you tried? That with the alimony should get you by. Can you work at all? I am working part time for the first time in seven years. It is a struggle, but it is doable for the time being.

I hope that you feel better. Hopefully somebody can come along and be more informative about this subject.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks for the support Funny Girl and Getting By. He really is a jerk. I am trying hard to get rid of the dead weight, but he keeps on making it hard on me. I've moved out, thank god. As a doctor, knowing I can't lift, knowing about the bulging cervical disc, degeneration, fibromaylgia....blah, blah, blah..... he did not help me move out of the house, and made it so horrible for me to try to organize my stuff so I could get out, that I lifted everything. As you can imagine, I was in really bad shape. I moved, because when I was at my worst we sold our home and moved into a condo. I told him that the condo wouldn't be good for me, didn't want it because there were stair from the garage to the first floor and then there are stairs to the bedrooms. I'm living in this really stinky apartment, but I will be moving into my own home on Monday. He tried to ruin that to. I had a mortgage all set up, and then he said he found a cheaper one (which he did). He brought me the forms to sign, and said he would take them back to the condo, sign them and then scan them into the computer to send them. I get and e-mail forwarded to me by him from the bank saying they needed more information. I e-mailed the bank and he had sent them nothing!!!! I was up all sunday night trying to gather everything together again. I don't even know who he is any more. But, the good thing is that I didn't hid it from my young adult kids. He was not abusive until I got sick, my older one was a freshman in college and the other a sophmore in college. I though he would get his act together, so I tried to hide it from the kids. No more. I've been hiding secretes all my life (I had been sexually abused for a number of years as a kid by my step-father and my mother wouldn't listen or believe me). Well, now here I was after getting out of that, and doing good in my life. I became a therapist and then an attorney, had a good job and did all the work in raising our kids, and once I got sick and couldn't work I was right back where I started until I got myself well enough to get out. But I am free now and I am still a kind and compassionate person. I understand that he is a jerk because my illness must have brought up his childhood stuff, but that didn't give him a right to be cruel to me. But finally I am free again, and as I said to him, you can to take everything from me, but you can't take my dignity. You can't go and buy it either. Go live with all your material possessions because I have something you don't have. I have my dignity. What do you have/ You have your shame." Both of you are right, money is so much less important, but I think it is time that I got a break in life. I believe God has a plan, but there has been so much abuse in my life that God is really testing my faith.