things just keep getting worse.

well im just going to put it all there and pour my heart because i need this off my shoulders, bare with me it may be long and boring but its what i need. Well i guess ill start with i was born with jaundice and had to be incubated and it affected me the first four years of my life, i was in and out of hospital i recovered from it finally and that was that. I started primary school and after 4 months my parents decided to move me, i found it a real struggle to fit in, everybody disliked me and id sit at lunchtime with a teddy and thats and it continued like that for 2years. I by the age of 8 started feeling so alone and went through anorexia and my body started shutting down so the regular hospital trips

i started high school wanting to make sure it was not like primary and i was successfull, starting fresh and a much happier person i started high school and quickly became best friends with the of our group and soon became the head myself, life was great! i had so many friends, everybody liked me and i was funny and had everything going for me, i made the vic soccer girls squad, i captained our school teams, i was elected house captain

soccer was our thing and wat we did together, her dad was a 2nd dad to me and i adored him, two weeks after we began training her father died in a accident out at sea, 3 weeks later she was killed in a car accident and my world began falling apart. I a few months later was electer for a school camp were i met this boy who was amazing and all the girls thought was god's gift, he was a shy boy and didnt really speak much

his family who he'd never been close with all of a sudden wanted to be his world and said horrible things about me to everybody and tried to turn everyone against me due to jealousy, i was labelled a gold digger by there entire family as well as several over things which i am far from! my boyfriend caught in the middle didnt know what to do, his older sister and her friends constant taumented me and pulled my hair and hit me

he one day made us go and visit them and it all started again excpet this time he started to join in and put me down and tear me apart with the hurtful things said, id told him everything and it felt like it was all being used against me, i was a bright girl with hopes to achieve quite high on my year 12 exams and in turn ended up not studying at all due to all the other drama, he wont leave him family but wont let me go and to be honest i dont want to

i have not slept in 3 days and havnt had a proper sleep for months, i hardly eat anymore half a mandarin is enough to fill me for the day and i feel sick if i eat anymore, iv lost so much weight, im frightened of everything, i cry all day and night everyone says i do it attention but im really suffering, my lifes falling apart, my bodies shutting down and i never hav energy and have severe panic attacks were i struggling to breathe and hav heart stabbing pains

Sass,

It really sounds to me as if you need to see your doctor at this time.  You have been through a lot and it is taking a toll on your health. 

Life isn't easy in any respect.  There will always be struggles, but you can get help.  Maybe medications, hopefully counseling.  You have to think of your health.  You are not sleeping or eating, you are running yourself down.  This is a serious problem and you need help.  Please see a doctor.

I hope that you start feeling better soon.

Hugs, Karen

hello Sass,

 

I would totally agree with Karen in regard's to ur situations!!!

You truly need to see somebody that you are comfortable with and talk and get it all out there!! Maybe you might need some medication for the depression and anxiety, but the most important thing for you right now is to eat,sleep & really look after yourself!! Believe me my darling for the last couple of weeks my life has become hell on earth,to the point that I dont care anymore to the point that i'm not eating anything at all as all I have is liquid and that's not good as I have an ileostomy and I have to eat to live. Please dont get like me because in the last 2 weeks or so I've gone from a size 10-12 to 7-8 and im very tall so i look sick and i also have cold sores all over my mouth,lip's ect!! My hair,skin and everything is affected by me not LOOKING AFTER MYSELF. Please start eating and just do what your body tell's you to do. Look you have probarly heard all of this before but I dont want you to go down the same path that im going down ok my love. Sorry I just care to much and hate to see other people suffer it's not fair............

 

 

please take care of YOU ONLY,

 

damaged.............

 

P.S. Im not having a go at you ok,I just care.........  xxxx