Hi Aurora,
So sorry you are feeling down right now. It's perfectly understandable, of course. You are run down physically & I'm sure it must be hard to try to feel good emotionally when you are so sick. I wish I could offer you some advice, but I don't really know what to say.
The only thing I can offer is to remind you that you mad it through so many really difficult experiences. In spite of all that, you have still managed to have some positive days. You have a beautiful son (if I remember correctly) & so much going for you. The job market is really tough right now, but it is improving. They just released numbers that temp jobs were up 21% last month. I know the place where I am temping is bringing on more temporary workers for the next 5-8 months. Right now you need to focus on getting well. But I really believe that once you are healed, the timing will be right to find some sort of work.
Also, in my experience, hospitals & doctors are really nice about working with patients. I hope you can get the majority of your bill covered by charity care, but whatever isn't cover, just talk with the provider & explain your situation. I have one bill I pay $5/month on & another provider I send $10/month to. A third provider where I have had a bill outstanding for a long time has agree to wait for any money until I get a job & then to come up with a payment plan with me -- even $1/month he said would be okay.
Sorry, I wish I could say more. But I do pray that everything would start to come together for you. You have been so strong & I am really amazed to see you really grow over the past year or so since I started on HW. You have been an encouragement to me to make changes in my own life to build a future for myself, rather than getting mired in the past or overcome with worries in the present.
take care,
frances