Help/Advice needed

Ok so a few months ago i was with this guy, who turns out to be my current boyfriend (however we broke up yesterday) and anyways, it was the summer we were drinking lots and i was really drunk and tired so went to bed about 9pm, my boyfriend say he was going to watch a few films first then come to bed, i didnt care was just so tired, I woke up at about 2/3 to my body moving, i was facing away from him, it took me a few secs to realise where i was and what was happening, he had his  in me had his hands on my bum and was movin my body, i heard him groaning, i was terrifed i didnt know what to do, so i started to move and make noises like i was waking up, he stopped for a bit, and i moved slightly away, i then pretended to go back tosleep and then a few mins later i felt him sliding his  in me, then really quickly he shoved his  in me again. i really moved about and started to sit up, he then turned over quickly. I didnt know what to do, i lay awake all night to scared to go to sleep.

I know that i am mostly to blame, i told my mate at work when i was drunk, i was crying and everything, and he went nuts, really wants to hurt my EX, he says its rape, but im not sure it is.

Help me.


i cant explain why i still went with him, he looked after me, protected me, i seen him like a father figure, and i didnt want to lose him, my self esteem is pretty low.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/2/2009 9:05:17 PM (GMT-7)

Thank you, i'll look into seeing someone.

Thanks

Dear Missbananza,

 

I absolutely agree with Karen and other's,as what you have been through is enough to get anyone sad,depressed ect!!!

You really need to go and see some kind of therapist to get the help that you will need and fast!!!!  From what uve described in ur post I certainly class that kind of behaviour as "RAPE" mo if's but's or maybe's. I would also find out if this person can be charged with "RAPE" as it's such a violation to you and he deserves to pay for his crime. I to was a victim of rape when i was nearly 22yrs old and am now 41. The person that did this to me actually started stalking me and following me until one night he broke into my home,drugged me until i was fully unconsious

then he bashed me to a pulp then proceeded to have his way with me. He did this to me for 18hours until my best friend at the time was worrried that i hadn't turned up to her home so she came around to my home and when i didn't answer she called the police who then came and broke the front door down and found me lying in my bed in a pool of blood. I couldn't even sit on my bottom for about 6weeks after the attack as he damaged me terribly,but even though i was unaware of what he was doing it was when they finally woke me up from the drug's he put down my throat. The worst part for me was when i had to stand in a court room and be called terrible names ect!!! I was also put into hiding for 12 months as he got off on bail then about 10mths later he did the exact same thing to one of my neighbours. Im sorry if i have gone i nto to much detail about this but it just seems to be flowing out of me. Your the first person besides my family that ive told about this horrible subject......... please pursue this and never feel like it was your fault because it's not ok.

stay safe and if you ever need to have a chat just look for my email address and we can chat in private if you would like to.

stay well darling.

 

ur in my thought's,

 

damaged.......      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MB,
First of all, I want to assure you that you did nothing wrong. I use to work in law enforcement area and in women's advocacy. I want to assure you that in most states there is a law against having intercourse with a person who is intoxicated. In fact I do not know of a state that does not have a law like that. Furthermore, there is also laws against having intercourse with someone who is not awake.

this is some hotline info for you
http://www.rainn.org/
1-800-656-HOPE(4673)

MB,
Do not worry about offending, we just have some young ones on the site.
You do have alot of courage to even talk about it.
Good luck!

Missbananza...

It's aweful that that happened to you, no one should have to deal with that. I hope you're doing better today and find someone to talk to in your local area and to get some help. The fact that he was so close to you makes it worse, but also makes it easy for him. Again I'm sorry, and I hope you can work through this alright.

I am glad that you are taking this one day at a time, it really keeps the stress down this way. Try not to dwell on it, but as thoughts come to your head, write them down on a piece of paper and keep it in a safe spot. They try to forget about it. That piece of paper will really help you down the road. Each time you think of something, write it down. Write down how it makes you feel. Save this to take to your doctor our counselor, or whoever it may be that you decide to see.

I am glad that you are feeling somewhat better.

Hugs, karen