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Posted 12/7/2009 4:46 PM (GMT 0)

I was hoping someone on here could give me some advice....

My wife has just been dianoised with depression, as well as this she is a recovering alcoholic.. I guess I should start at the begining..

In August 2008 we had a bad car accident and my wife and child was injured quite badly, after a few months they were fully recovered, but I noticed that my wife had started to drink quite heavily at home. I didn't see this as a major problem because she was drinking in the house instead of going out, until I found out that she was hiding alcohol in the house. I confronted her and she addmitted that she had a problem and she wanted help. After seeking help she was told that it could be several months before she could get the help she needed as we couldn't afford to go private.

The drinking started to affect her work and she ended getting sacked.. with this she decided to go cold turkey, knowing the concequences she went for it anyway and ended having an alcohol widthdrawal seizer and ended up in hospital. Although it was bad in hospital she got all the help she needed and came out of the hospital alcohol free. I thought Great we could start rebuilding our life, but two weeks later she was back on the alcohol but drinking more. Soon she wouldn't leave the house when she did she would have panic attacks. I got the doctor in and he diagnosed her with depression. He gave her tables to relieve the problems but not at a high dose due to her drinking.

She has a home detox this week to come off the alcohol again, I am so scared it won't work again and life carry's on the way it has been doing. I am just having trouble to cope with it all, but I feel guilty because I know the pain she's going through.

Posted 12/7/2009 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mawey,

First of all, welcome to the forum.  You have come to a good place where everybody is so kind and compassionate.  Also very supportive. 

I am sorry to hear about your wife and her drinking.  I hope that she can stop.   But I feel that there is an underlying problem that is causing her to drink.  Is she going to any counseling?  I think that would be good for her, not only could she talk things out, but she would get some professional support.  Talk to her about it.

Drinking takes a toll on our minds and bodys.  And causes us to be more depressed.  Though we think we are feeling better from the numbness, we are actually getting more depressed.  So please talk to her about counseling, or maybe going to AA.  I hope that this helps some, I know that I didn't offer as much advice as I would have liked to.  Just got up.  But I will write more soon.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 12/7/2009 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your reply Karen,

Shes seeing a counselor once a week whilst the home detox is happening, I have tried to get her to see one on a regular basis to talk about any other problems she may not want to dicuss with me for what ever reason, but she always puts it off. She just says that she has an addictive personality... I know from the past she has suffered from anorexica and bulimia, she says she doesn't know what she does these things as she come from a loving family and has nouthing really bad that has happened to her.

I feel lost as I comfort her all the time telling her that "things will get better", "I love her" and just try to be as supportive as I can. She has started to say that I might be better off without her and that she wants me to be happy, I love my wife and just hope that she will come throught this detox ok and that she can start feeling happy again.

Posted 12/7/2009 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
Mawey,

I really think that it is the depression talking.  So try not to take it personally.  As long as she is drinking, she is going to be depressed.  So that is the key element at this time.  I think...

It is good that she is going to counseling.  I hope that this helps her.  In the meantime, know that she loves you and try to be patient.  Alcoholism is a nasty critter.  It runs in my family, though I don't drink.  Maybe a beer once in a while, but I have lost the desire.  But I don't like the feeling of alcohol when it hits me, so that takes care of that. 

I pray that she gets better, we have the holidays approaching and that is a time when people are often at their lowest.  I hope that this doesn't happen to your wife.  But know that it is possible.  I find that after the holidays people often get depressed.  So please feel free to post here when things are going tough.  We have many caring members who can put in their input and help you through this difficult time. 

I hope that you are doing good.  Do you have any support other than the forum?  You need help dealing with this, you might want to talk to somebody for your own support.  I know tht this isn't easy, I had many family members that drank, and it was hard to watch.

Take care my friend, keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen

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