Help depression and dealing with a depressed partner

Right where to start my partner and i have just gone through a miscarriage, we have been friends for 17yrs before we got involved i helped her out of depression after an abusive marriage which end a cpl of months before we got together. After the miscarriage i developed symptoms of depression mood swings ect ect my partner seemed unaffected by this apart from being a little irratable but that was normal as far as i can see, we had an argument where she said some awful things and i lost my temper with her and pushed her up a wall and punch through a door. Knowing what I knew was worst possible choice as she had been through it twice before with both her previous ex husbands which I knew. I love her to bits but she has started to have panick attacks and not sleeping and is deep in depressive state she has taken me back but there is no intimacy at all which i understand but am struggling to deal with, I have sort medical advice and been prescribed drugs and anger management both of which i acknowledge I need but I'm unsure whether I can deal with lack of intimacy!!!! I need advice I want to be here to help support her through this but aint sure whether or not i'm doing the best thing????? If I wasnt here she has no support network locally and 2 children to look after, as her family live 20 miles away PLEASE can sum1 help me understand!!! Does anyone think this will ever get any better??????????? I just want people who have experienced this from either side to give there opinion.

1. Will the intimacy return???

2. Can I really help by being here or am i making the situation worse??????

3. Do you think we can salvage a relationship from this as I love her to bits and hope she feels the same??

thanks for that, she has been to doctors today and been prescribed anti depressants and refered for councelling as she blames herself I think as all three serious relationships she has had have been violent I too have also been put on anti depressants and refered for anger management councelling and been given a self help book which seems to be working atm, although the more i tell her i love her the more i get it thrown back at me which deeply hurts and atm it feels like anything i do will neva be good enough. She continually tells me that she dont know what she wants and knows it drives me mad but she says she just aint sure!!! The uncertianty of it all is doing my head but I love her enough to give her the time she requires to get better and assess what she wants no matter how hard it gets for me as she has 2 kids whom i adore.

I think also she was deperate to have children aswell as her kids is the only thing she thinks she has ever done right but cant have them due to complications so trying again is not an option!!! I know she feels the loss as do I but cant even acknowledge that the miscarriage was real!!!!

as far as couple counselling as far as she is concerned atm there is no us and besides if we need councelling after 6 months if we need that it was pointless relationship so i do not wish to push her into it!!!!

All I want is the person I fell in love with to get better and back to normal with or without me just wondered whether being here is making the situation better or worse and wanted someone elses opinion on it

I don't think that she is trying to hurt you. Just trying to find herself and realize her feelings, be patient, I am sure that things will get better in time.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen

also she knows the lack of intimacy is a massive issue to me as well so is this just a test to see if i really mean that i truely love her and wont just walk away?????? This is driving me crazy as my friends and family are telling me i am not getting my needs meet and that she is just using me as she dont want to be left alone to cope with the kids and being so far away from her support network it just feels as though she hates me and im only here because of the kids and nowt else