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Posted 12/8/2009 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
it hasn't even been a week since my overly happy life was destroyed

seeing it colapse into nothing has made me realize I haven't been happy with my life for such a long time.

today i thought about not coming home. to try and clear my mind i just kept driving through the country, crying
i kept thinking, if i just i could be put in the hospital and not have to deal with everyone

i don't necessarily want to kill myself, but i also don't trust myself either
i just keep thinking it would be better if i didn't have to do anything but be on for the next month or two

i don't feel like i can pray anymore. i'm trying though.
i feel like i don't get the right answers or like maybe i'm not wanting to get the answer i know i should.

i feel so alone and helpless...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/7/2009 8:12:03 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/8/2009 2:42 AM (GMT 0)
hey, you need some real support at the moment. i would strongly suggest that you call your doc, and or therapist-if you are in therapy. if not you can call a help-line in your area. they can offer you support and referal. if you do feel at risk, then please call an ambulance. if you have a trusted friend then call for a chat, this way if medical support is required a friend can take you to hospital. suicide is not the answer, yeah i understand that your despair is taking over, been there and plus some, it is a very ugly road, thus please seek assistance, you are a precious human being of this earth, so with compassion i send you my sincere healings. jamie.
Posted 12/8/2009 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
i just don't feel like i can trust anyone right now. i've talked with a few friends but not about the suicide part
none of them seem to understand or seem to know how to help me...
Posted 12/8/2009 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hal,

Here are some resources for you.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

I hope that this helps you some.  We are not allowed to discuss suicide, illegal drugs or self harm on the forum.  Please familiarize yourself with the forum rules before posting further.  We have members as young as thirteen on the forum, also it is deemed as negative and could be troublesome to some of the members. 

I want to get these resources to you asap.  I hope that you are feeling better.  Please use the resources, or call 911 as you seem to be feeling quite distraught.  I wish you well.  Is there somebody that you could talk to?

Hugs, Karen

Posted 12/8/2009 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
i've been seeking out help from my friend and people from my church but so far no one has a response.

i can't talk to the one person i feel i need most :(
Posted 12/8/2009 7:34 AM (GMT 0)
Nothing wrong with giving yourself a small break or a rest. A walk in the country is good (though driving while really upset is not such a good idea)... Nothing wrong with crying. It's OK to feel bad, but do not give up completely or do anything impulsive that is bad ... you know what i mean. There will be better times ahead.

-- daisy's mom
Posted 12/8/2009 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Hal,

Hang in there. Things will get better, but it takes some time to heal. Keep talking to people and trying to connect with those around you. You need to feel a part of the world right now.

Do you have a therapist or counselor? Would you consider talking to one? Some professional support could be really helpful for you.

serafena
Posted 12/9/2009 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
just popping in to see if you are feelin' any better. we are here for you. jamie.
Posted 12/10/2009 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
I've been strong enough to not resort back to my old ways but that's mostly based on faith for something that probably won't ever happen.

Going through a lot right now... trying to be happy or at least act like it.
I slept a bit more last night but that was with sleeping pills :/
Posted 12/10/2009 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
hal, me lucky to sleep with the most potent of them!! hang in there, things heal in time, glad you are posting with us, we do care. keep posting. with compassion, jamie.
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