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Posted 11/30/2009 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hello.

I was bullied a lot when i was younger but was never helped for it.I never ever got over any of it. That was during school but now I am in college. I felt like i had started  a whole new life and had lots of friends then one day all those friends were gone and im left all alone not knowing what to do. Except I thought one guy was looking out for me and one night that i was really bad we ended up together and then the next day he turned on me. I feel like he is the only thing that was keeping my mind off being lonely and now he wants nothing to do with me...He knows im not in a very good menatl state but thinks of it as pointless and its  so hard because its too embaressing to tell anybody as I feel there is nothing wrong with me. I just cry all day long, im stressed, i keep going and going but at the same time lonliness and everything is going round in my head. I dont know what to do becaue i felt like he was helping me and now i have nobody. What should i do? And should i stay away from him? I was like this before him but i thought he was helping me because being around somebody who makes you happy helps but now after what he has done im just a million times worse.

Please somebody give me some advice please.

Thank you so much, it is much appreciated.

Posted 12/1/2009 12:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi 18yearsyoung101,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum.  You really have come to a good place. 

The best advice that I can give you is maybe you should talk with your school counselor.  You definately can't depend on another person for your happiness.  That comes from within yourself.  You have to learn to like yourself in order not to feel lonely when alone.  Or when not alone, as sometimes we do.  It is just a part of depression that you have to learn to work through. 

You have to learn that you are a good person and you are worthy of love.  As you are.  But you can't depend on a boyfriend or any friend to bring you happiness.  Like I say, that comes from within.  You learn to accept yourself for who you are and then you learn to love yourself for who you are too.  Once you do that, you are no longer lonely. 

I hope that you talk to a counselor about this matter.  And keep posting as we are here for you.  I bumped up a thread with some information on it for depressed teens, do read it.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Posted 12/1/2009 9:29 AM (GMT 0)
sorry my dear for what happened. karen's info is excellent. maybe time for a chat with your dr. as well. there are various forms of treatments to combat depression. ps. depression is a medical condition. keep safe and talk with your school counsellor for advice and referal. pls know that we are here for you. jamie.
Posted 12/1/2009 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
My Dear Girl,
I have a friend going through something quite similar at the moment. She is depressed, she won't eat, she won't sleep, she won't be happy even when she is with others... I do the best I can to help her. I talk to her, I hang out with her, I cry with her, I hug her...It's a tough situation darling. Feeling all alone and being depressed is not a good combination. But there are things that have helped me when I went through losing just about everyone...
I wrote. I know everyone is different, but writing really helped me. When I had no one I turned to writing all my thoughts down. And confiding in someone like a counselor, really can help to. In more ways than you can imagine. I joined so many advice columns in order to feel like someone out there would listen to me. It's nice to know that you can still have people like these wonderful women I have come across on this site. I actually met a woman on here, who replied to a post I entered. Now she and I keep in touch through email on a regular basis. It's just a very good idea. I write everything from journal entries, blogs on my websites, posts on message boards, emails to people who normally dont even reply. haha
Some little things for you sweetie.
I hope some of it helps!
Posted Today 8:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Ashlovesjase,

 

I would like to say hello and i truly hope this forum gives you the support that you really need. Im terribly sorry ur having such a hard time with "LIFE", but alway's remember that we are all here for different reasons,but in the end we are all depressed and other. Take Karen and Jamiee's advise as they are two very special people. They have helped me imensly and they can also help you too if you want it. Take care of "YOU"and dont keep justifying to other's about how ur feeling ok. I hope all work's out well for you darling!!!!!

 

sincerly,

 

damagedgoods41.......   xxxxxxx

Posted 12/16/2009 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it... I started to feel ok but now everything is just downhill again. Anybody I talk to always just seems not bothered or just let me down. I dont understand whats wrong with me.......... Why does nobody want to know me!!!!
Posted 12/16/2009 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
I think that the most important thing is for you to get to know yourself.  Often other people that we talk to have problems of their own and they are preoccupied with that.  We all struggle. 

I think that maybe you should be less reliant on others to fullfill your needs and learn to fullfill your own.  We all have to learn that it seems.  We can't rely on other people to make us happy.  That comes from within.  Same as reassurance.  We have to find that within ourselves.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 12/18/2009 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
Part of my story is very similar. I was bullied as well. I am not sure that I can offer advice as I am also suffering through right now. I am not sure if anything is wrong with me. When I try to talk to people about how I feel, I begin to feel not depressed but crazy. People say, move one, forget about it, get over it, etc. Too many phrases that mean the exact same thing. What I hear is they don't care and I am all alone. I can stand in a room filled with people and I still feel alone. One thing this evening I have learned from reading your posts is that we are not alone. We may be a world apart, we could be neighbours, but we are not alone in how we feel.
I had a situation where the guy was the one helping to keep me together. He promised he would never leave, he left without even saying goodbye. I still think about him, but something I did learn is that I am strong enough to handle people leaving. It is never fun, but it is something that makes us stronger, even when we feel weak.
I hope that we both can take one day at a time and get through our time of need. It will not be easy, but life has to get better it can't suck all the time.
Posted 12/18/2009 5:53 AM (GMT 0)
Life doesn't suck all of the time, but sometimes it isn't easy.  We live and we learn.  We grow.  I am glad that you all are finding that we aren't alone.  We can help eachother, but we all need a little help too.  By that I mean counseling.  I go, and most everybody here does.  We deserve that help.

Best wishes to all

Hugs, Karen

Posted 12/18/2009 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Smac1620 - Its helped me a bit to know that you are going throught the same as me. I have the same feelings as you, nobody understands when you are practically asking for their help and they just dont get it!! And I feel all alone all the time but no matter how gard I try everyone just leaves me. I feel like its all my own fault. I dont have any desire to be around anybody anymore or go out and have fun like I should be. I have no desire to do anything at all. And then when anyone even my family says anything like "your attitude is terrible" im dying to tell them that I dont think Im well but it all sounds crazy coz I feel like there is nothing wrong when I say it out loud, but the pain is unbearable! I want to be helped but I have nobody to tell. I dont want to tell my mother because it would brek her heart and I dont want her to be worried about me. I couldnt even imagine telling her. I really just dont know what to do.

But thank you for the posts because they do keep me going.
Posted 12/19/2009 3:03 AM (GMT 0)

Hi, was just reading all your posts.  I'm a 24 yr old guy who has been through some issues as well.  I wouldn't say I was really picked on when I was younger, not the most popular kid but I wasn't really picked on too much.  I did have my own issues though.  Always and still do have bad acne on my chest and back which always prevented me from going out with friends to places that I should have went to and had good times at (beach, waterparks, pools, etc).  I was born with a jaw malclusion which effected my speech a little which I've recently had surgically repaired, but now I have numbness around the muscles of my mouth.  There's a bunch of other things as well, and these things bothered me a bit back when I was your age.

I wish I could go back and do it all over again.  I would have tried and found help earlier then what happened to me.  Instead I let these insecurities about myself build and grow.  Stopped me from getting certain jobs I wanted, let them stop me from going away to college, let them stop myself from going to college, began to withdraw a little bit from my friends.

The reason why I'm saying all this is that, IT IS NOT healthy to let all of your problems just grow within and not to open up to somebody, anybody.  I never used to tell anybody how much these things bothered me, I never was one to talk about my feelings. I would just crack jokes and mess around and ignore everything that really was important.  The reason why I'm sharing this with you is because just now am I beginning to feel better and fight my way back from SEVERE depression/anxiety attack.

I know you said you were scared to tell your parents, maybe even ashamed?  Thats how I felt, kept it all bottled in.  Until about 2 1/2 months ago when my severe anxiety hit me.  I had this sudden onset of an incredible headache, lights began to bother me, sounds were echoing a bit and irritating me, I couldn't focus on ANYTHING (TV, Books, Games, Conversations, Work), and worst of all I couldn't sleep.  I didn't sleep for 5 days straight, my hands started shaking, body started to twitch.  I thought I was dying, I thought I was even going crazy.  After all the doctors visits and everything I was referred to my psychiatrist who I'm seeing right now who put me on an antidepressent/antianxiety pill called cymbalta.  Its took awhile to kick in but finally I am beginning to see some positive results from it and feeling a little like my old self again.

My advice would strongly be to seek out the help of a counselor or psychologyst/psychiatrist.  There is no shame in going to talk to somebody, I used to be one of those people strongly against people seeing them.  Thinking it was weak and it was something I would never do.  That's a bunch of bull, look where that got me?  I've been feeling much better since seeing my therapist and thank god that I actually let that false idea of being weak for seeing one not stop me from helping myself.  There's nothing to be ashamed of when you're trying to help yourself, whether it being seeking out a counselor, or even telling your friends and family whats going on.

I personally told everyone who was close to me what was going on, I told my family and my close friends.  I used to hide it from them and be scared they wouldn't like me for who I was if I opened up about it.  Well I did and nothing has changed, and even if things do, you can't help that.  You can only help yourself and how you feel.  Hope this was some help to you, hang in there and realize that it will pass, it will just take some work and patience.


~Mike

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