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Posted 1/14/2010 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
I am 16 years old,a female, and  living with my parents and trying to get through school.  Everyday is a struggle to get through.  I have been living with depression for 3 years and everytime i reach out for help i get slapped in the face by family and friends.  This year the  came back and i'm scared out of my mind. 

 

 I have some good friends but i'm turning over to the darker side now.  I have been hanging out with friends who do alcohol and  .

 

Right now i constantly take supplements cuz i stopped eating again.  and i can't seem to drag myself out of bed.  i constantly guzzle caffeine just to put on a show and 'appear normal'. 

 

I'm weak tired and disgusted.  I guess it doesn't help that i don't like myself. 

 

I have talked to both counselors at school and they haven't helped.  I have also talked on the phone with a different counselor but my parents are against me, saying there is no way i can be depressed.  and i don't have a license yet, or money.............

 

Just looking to finally get help..........................

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/14/2010 1:56:57 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/14/2010 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I would suggest maybe you find an adult that you trust that you feel comfortable talking to that might help you out. You need to eat to keep up your strength and well living on caffine only goes just so far. Try to find a teacher or someone that you trust that will take you seriously and help you get what you need......do it for your self.
Posted 1/14/2010 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Bernie'10, please know that there are money of us here who relate to your feelings and emotions. I as a teenager also suffered with severe depression and told no one. I can't image how frustrating it must be for you to have spoken with others such as counselor and parents and feel like no one is help you. Perhaps you could see your primary physician. If things are really bad, you should ask a friend, neighbor, church member, aunt or uncle, or teacher to take you to the emergency room.

Are you taking medication for depression? If so, please be sure that you aren't mixing meds with alcohol or illegal drugs. This will not help you in your decision-making abilities. Other options are calling 1-800-suicide and I believe they help you find local services in your area. Please stay safe until we chat again. We are here for you, but you need someone you feel comfortable with to talk to. Please know that this is temporary, but you do need help. You can get that help for yourself by reaching out to someone you trust.
Posted 1/14/2010 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bernie 10,

I am so glad that you have joined us.  You are clearly reaching out for help.  And I hope that we can help you some.  Here are a few sites that you might want to check out. 

http://nineline.org/

http://forums.teenhelp.org/

http://wwwteenhut.net/

http://teencentral.net/

I hope that you can get some help through one or all of these sites.  But I agree with the above posts.  Talk to somebody.  Starting with your physician or a school counselor would be a good place to start.  Or also as mentioned above, a pastor or a family member.  Or maybe a close friend.  But you need professional guidance, so please talk to a counselor.  It does work wonders for the mind. 

I also agree that this isn't a good time to be around people using alcohol and illegal substances.  Your mind is fragile, you need to work on you right now.  Though it may make you feel better at the moment, the lasting effects are bad.   Alcohol is a depressant, so it will make you even more depressed. 

You are going to live and learn, you are at the beginning of your life.  It can be a learning journey as you go.  So please talk to a counselor and get some direction.  And some support.  You need support right now, badly.  Know that we are here to support you, but we are not professionals, just fellow members who are a work in progress, just like you are.  So keep posting and know that we care about you.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/15/2010 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the helpful advice and i will try to figure out something.

I just got to school and its friday. the worst of my days it seems. Mondays are always great and then it goes down hill from there. So friday is my worst day of all. on top pf that i abhor school right now for some reason. and we have been getting more homework. i love to write and read, but i can't seem to write for my english class anymore.


I am extremely tired today bcuz i only got 5 hours of sleep last night. and right now i'm being made fun of, and life really sucks. so.... yeah.

i will come back on during study hall. cuz i probably wont take a test i'm supposed to take. so thank you again for your kindness and generosity.
Posted 1/15/2010 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
keep well. know that we are here for you. got 3 assignments myself, school has finished, need to get motivated myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with compassion, jamie
Posted 1/15/2010 7:09 PM (GMT 0)

skipped lunch again. nothing yummy to eat really and i find that i'm not really hungry. 

I can't concentrate right now on my school work bcuz grades don't matter.  and i'm failing a class (Chemistry) which means i need to pass my exam in order to pass the class, so i don't have to repeat it..........

The whole day people have been making fun of me.  and the one girl thinks i don't care that shes beating me up with her words.  shes like "you don't care."  and i said nothing cuz i can't stick up for myself. 

talked to my friends they made fun of death. and we actually ended up having a wierd conversation.  i can't trust any adults bcuz i have trust issues.  IN 8th grade (currently in 11th)  my teachers had a meeting with me and my mom.  She didnt believe me and we ended up having a fight.

Posted 1/18/2010 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
BAck to school and its exam week. great..... took my stuff home over the weekend and didn't study one bit. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. stressing over the week to come. i went shopping yesterday and get really excited, but i'm coming down of that high right now. school is the worst place in the world.


Now i'm going to go to 1st hour and talk to my friend that i'm jealous of and see if i can't make it through my day.
Posted 1/18/2010 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
Bernie,

Good luck with the exams. I hope tht you studied some. Let us know how it goes, okay?

Try not to be jealous over people. It is a waste of energy. You are a fine person, that is all that matters.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/18/2010 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen...

things looked promising this week, but my best friend who said she was gonna take me to an appointment with a counselor has backed out. Now all hope is lost because i was looking forward to it. To fianlly talk to someone about everything and maybe get medication........

Right now i feel like gray mush on the sidewalk, getting trampled by people over and over again.

ironically i am wearing all grey clothing today, yeah me.
Posted 1/18/2010 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Bernie,

Can you find another way to make it to your appointment? 

Just wondering.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/19/2010 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
i'm not sure.... it's like 30 minutes away, i don't have a license and i can't walk there in a reasonable amount of time and back.

bcuz i have exams this week i was counting on something working out bcuz they are not open during weekends or fridays and the next time i can go would be this summer. i don't trust any other friends or teachers enough, and not all of my friends have rides.

I am caught in a dilemma.
Posted 1/19/2010 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
What about a cab or public transportation?

Just another thought...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/19/2010 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
i heartily thank you for your suggestions. i live in the country where there is no public transportation. as for a cab i have no money. :(
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