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Lonlieness and eating...

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Posted 1/18/2010 11:16 PM (GMT 0)

I've just started my second term at uni... and looking back on the last term I've realised Ive made so many mistakes. sad  I got drunk pretty much every weekend and everytime got with a guy (kissing and a few other things but it never went as far as sex. I'm still a virgin and find myself too scared to do it with anyone, even when Im crazily drunk I can remember that I want to save it for someone special). I've stopped doing this now which I guess is a good thing - but I feel so lonely. Getting with a guy stopped it for a few days because it made me feel like somebody was actually attracted to me... although in truth they were probably just as drunk as I was and now its a vicious circle and all that's getting me down too. I feel like I have no close friends that I can just talk to about anything and hug whenever Im down. There is one guy that I actually like but for some reason I never speak to him very often. I dont know what to do to get rid of these feelings and from going round in circles! I think Im just an attention seeker but I dont know how not to be, I just want to people to notice me and be like 'wow shes gorgeous' but its backfired and just made me feel like a slag. sad

 

Second point... I find myself thinking about food ALL the time. Somedays I wont eat anything, and then another day I'll just binge. I've tried just eating salad and soup, drinking more water and making my portions smaller but I always lose control! Im 9 1/2 stone and I have a really fat stomach that I want to get rid of. I want to be 8 stone but dont know how to get there. I'm thinking of trying diet pills. Anything else you think will work? confused

Posted 1/18/2010 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Thatgirl,

For some reason the print in your post is very small and really hard to read.  I found it took me a while as I needed a magnifing glass to read it.

Do you suffer from depression?  It sounds to me like you have normal problems for somebody your age.  The thing tht you really have to realize is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  What is attractive to one person isn't necessarily attractive to another.  To me, looks are superfiscial anyway.  I think it is all in the person, as to whether they are nice or not.  The true beauty comes from within. 

It also takes a long time to make good friends.  That comes from years of knowing eachother.  So that just more or less takes time.

As for eating, continue to do what you do.  Make healthy choices, get exercise and drink a lot of water.  Water fills you up so that you don't feel so hungry.  And if you aren't really hungry, don't eat.  If you are going to eat food with a lot of calories, burn it off with exercise. 

I hope that this helps. 

Hugs, Karen

Posted 1/19/2010 7:58 AM (GMT 0)
hi i am jamie, male, and 37. i agree with karen, and from a man's point of view, well at least mine, beauty is far more than looks, it's in the beauty of their heart, their soul and smile. for me love is truth, the truth of expression, and expression is more than and far greater than sex. find you, and your inner beauty will shine brightly, moreso, be you and be true. love is precious as is your heart, don't sell it short. with kindness, jamie.
Posted 1/19/2010 10:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the quick replies. Im not sure what I did to the font.
I've decided to spend more time with my new friends to get to know them better. And also to call my younger sister, who I was really close to when living at home, every week for a chat. I'm not sure if I suffer from depression, I know I have a few of the signs but never really thought about it before?
I guess with guys I just need to meet more and the right one will find me eventually. I dont think I've been hanging out with the right type of men.

Thank you so much for your help.

All the best.
Posted 1/19/2010 12:00 PM (GMT 0)
you are on the right track. hey, don't discount those depressive warning lights either, you maybe experiencing some form of episodic depression, thus my advice would be to talk with your doc. if you are, and this is early then your ability to heal and get better is much quicker than say if you let it go. healing prayers. jamie.
Posted 1/20/2010 10:00 AM (GMT 0)
thatgirl, I think you have made an excellent choice with sticking close to your new friends so you can establish some belonging, and also to keep in touch with your family. about 100 years ago when I left home to go to work, I did exactly what you did - tried to stifle loneliness with men, alcohol etc etc. I think it is actually the shock of suddenly having a huge amount of freedom and also loneliness for your family, who tend to accept us as we are (sorry I am just assuming you are away from your family home). Your new friendship bonds will keep you stable and happy. Good luck :)
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