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I get picked apart constantly

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Posted 3/8/2010 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
I live with my mom and her partner (gay), who ill refer to as s and her daughter (a)

And its not just today but everything I do is never good enough. I dont know why I bother.

I asked if i could have a can of spaghetti and s responds in a rather rude tone go ask your mother. why cant you just answer me?

s NEVER lets me get a word in. just because shes unhappy with her life doesnt mean she needs to make mine miserable too. but she does. i hate her. and ive put up with it for almost 8 years. but since im under 18 i cant just leave. thank god university is in spetember.

then tonight she blows up accusses me of eating all the toaster strudels when it was figure out that infact i only ate 2 for a fact which i said i had eaten 2. its just double standards in my house. my moms a pushover because she doesnt want to deal with all of the arguing. and i just cant keep dealing with this.. and then while im washing the dishes after a 20 min argument/convo with ym mom she (s) starts clapping her hands saying nice performance. which it wasnt. like i know it sounds bad but i wanted to go knock her out. she makes me so angry, and then she refused to talk to my mom. she treats my mother like garbage, along with me,. and she complains about everything. im just so sick of it i dont know why i try any more. nothing i ever do or say is right.

Posted 3/8/2010 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
I think you might have actually picked up on how to deal with her. Her conduct is that of someone who is much younger then what she must be. Seriously she is flipping out over a 2 dollar box of toaster strudels? She need to get a grip about what is important in life. I do suggest that you disengage from her. Do not ask her questions. Ask your mother, after all she is the one who is your caregiver. You are out of there in a couple months, and you have made it 8 years. You know that you can do this.
But I am real clear that it is easy to say and very difficult to do. But you have a light at the end of the tunnel. I think it is understandable about how you feel, but do you think violence is going to help you or hurt you? Or would disengaging from her be a much more effective way to tell her how you think her conduct is out of line? You can be real clear that you do not accept her disrespectful behavior, without even saying a word.
Try not to put your mother in a position where she has to be choosing between you and her. Because to your mother you are leaving her, and that might hurt more then being treated badly at this moment.
You are in the process of declaring a standard of acceptable treatment for yourself, who knows she might just follow you?
Posted 3/8/2010 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Manic,

And welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us. Navy gave you some wonderful advice here but what I wanted to do was add to you that maybe it would be a good idea to try counseling. In counseling, you learn how not to let other people effect your mood. You can be happy even if she isn't. You don't have to let her moods change yours from happy to sad, or angry. You can learn to not let her effect you at all. And like Navy said, you are letting her know that you are not happy with her just by not conversing with her. Don't ignore, but talk only when necessary. I think you would not only be showing that you are a good person, but that you have self contol, where she obviously doesn't.

Best wishes to you. I am happy that you have joined us. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/8/2010 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the advice, but nothing works.

I ignore her, she starts saying things to piss me off, and its things that put me down so I need to react to defend myself.

Today another blow up she storms around the house, and mumbles something as she walks by me, so i said if you have something to say to me please say it to my face. and she BLOWS upeyes  saying you know what why do you need to start crap bla bla bla, and i was like umm im not i just said and shes like trust me if i had something to say to you you'll know about it. And then im going into the kitchen looking in the freezer, she goes ...excuse me (with attitude of course) i didnt say anything, and I moved and she whips the fridge door shut. so i go to back to the freezer and say to myself i know i didnt eat them (strudels) and shes like you ****ing got something to say..i didnt say anything cause it wasnt direscted at her and she goes yea thats what i thought. Honestly im 17 and i act more mature than her and shes 45. Shes so immature, and honestly I swear shes got some sort of mental disorder, yet blames EVERY problem in the house on me.

Posted 3/8/2010 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
She very well could have a mental disorder. That is hard to cope with. Try to ignore her comments and her mumbling, otherwise she will pull you down to her level and you will both have problems. I am sorry she treats you that way. I hope that this helps some.

Hugs, Karen
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