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Posted 12/18/2004 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
This week has been one of nothing but let downs. Monday was my day off of work and my parents argued all night long. My step mom said some pretty harsh stuff that I was shocked by. I couldn't sleep that night, so I just stayed up talking online. Later that night, this guy that I had dated was talking to me online and told me that he was sorry because he had used me just to get back at this other girl - I have severe insecurities with myself so I could do nothing but cry and wonder why people don't like me for who I am. All week long people have been making fun of me in my English class, and I don't know why. They make fun of me for being an A student, and they call me names like "*****" and "dumb *****", even though they don't even know me. My teacher stood right in front of this kid as he said to me "shut up you stupid *****" as I asked a question - and the teacher did nothing, didn't even say a word. What shocks me is I normally get along with everyone. I'm not like the "dorky" straight A student - I am just me, and I try to be nice to everyone. So yesterday I found out that my little brother may have some sort of

schizophrenia or Asperger's syndrome. Other then that I am just waiting on my letter from Flager College. It was sent out on Wednesday, and I still have not recieved it, so I am stressing out. I just get so frustrated with everything and it is hard to keep a focus on anything. It just makes me sick and upset. I just want to curl up in a little ball and cry all night and all day long. And I can't help but notice my food intake - I've been eating so much lately, and I can't stop because I'm so nervous. And trust me, its not helping with my insecurities about myself. I've tried to stop, but I can't. It seems like I can't do anything anymore.

 

-Danielle

Posted 12/20/2004 6:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Danielle,

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Do you have a trusted person you can talk to? Sometimes having a good counselor can make a huge difference. You deserve to feel better about yourself and life. I know it seems hard to believe right now, but things do get better. Hang in there.

boo
Posted 12/23/2004 11:26 AM (GMT 0)
Danielle, sweetheart!
Like Boo said it certainly sounds like you've got a lot on your plate!

I have a 17 year old daughter who is having some of the same problems as you. The school she attends is in a real religious county here in Tennessee, we're not a religious bunch personally and have our own viewpoints. But, the teachers condone gossip in the classrooms, they even instigate it.

(sorry guys) and as far as boys go....well, "boys will be boys" and most like to play the field or as I'm told "like to mack" on all the girls (I think I used that in the right context) and there's something about "pimping" too (but that one confuses me LOL). It seems to be just the way the world is today (at least in my neck of the woods). I know it's not real encouraging, but seems that's a teen's life right now.

BUT, you have a plan!!! Stick by that plan and don't let your teen years interrupt it no matter what! You will get through these years hun and be a stronger person for it. Mistakes and hard times make us who we are. Without those we couldn't survive in this world. You seem to be a very strong person and congrats on the A's!!! That in itself is a huge accomplishment! You're gonna be just fine kiddo, it's just a bit of a rocky road right now.

Keep up the good work! And stay in touch with us. And as far as your letter from the college....well it's the holidays and the mail is extremely slow right now, it'll get to ya. What are you planning on majoring in?? if ya don't mind my asking.

Happy HOlidays to ya girl! And I hope your New Year brings you everything you need!
~Tina~
Posted 12/24/2004 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks you guys, I'm just very frustrated right now! It is Friday, and my letter still hasn't come :'(

Anyways, havta- I plan on majoring in Physcology while taking 4 years of prelaw.. then going onto law school. I think I want to go into family law, because I personally have been through that system and I know how messed up it is - but there is also something about criminal law that intrigues me. Basically, I want to be able to make a difference in someones life, so I think family law is for me!

-Danielle
Posted 12/25/2004 11:14 AM (GMT 0)
Good for you!!!!! If you're interested in the subject and have an objective, as long as you don't let anyone/thing detour you, you'll do a great job!!!!

Let us know when your letter comes in!
~Tina~
Posted 12/25/2004 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Great news!!!!! This year for Christmas my family did a "secret santa" type thing. Every year we get one gift on Xmas eve, and it is always pajamas that we all wear that night. Well, we decided to open our secret santa gifts as well. My mom was my secret santa and I was the last to open my present. I unwrapped it and I saw the back of a picture frame, so I was like "ok?" and then I turned it around and it was my acceptance letter to Flagler!!! I started crying sooooooo hard. I can't believe I got in!

-Danielle
Posted 12/25/2004 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
Danielle,

Congratulations!!!! yeah

I'm so happy for you....relish in this moment and let yourself be proud, you worked so hard for it and deserve it.

Merry Christmas!

boo

Posted 12/26/2004 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm new. I was touched by your post. Congrats on your acceptance letter. Put it where you can see it every day and remind yourself of how great it is. Maybe it will help you get by in english class. High school is hard, some people are just mean. You'll get thre it and trust me when you look back you'll be so proud of where you've gone. some people i went to high school with who were so cool then are not doing so great now and i think back and wonder why i needed their approval in the first place. They have grown too and are not as cold as they were back in the day! As for this guy you went out with it's so hurts to feel rejection by anyone in the lest of ways. He was in the wrong, there was nothing wrong with you it's him. I know that doesn't always help. It's so sad how much power people have over us and how easily people can hurt one another. Hang in their and I agree with above stay focused on your goal and let that give you inner strenght. How great of your mom to give you that gift!
Posted 12/26/2004 11:04 AM (GMT 0)
Congrats Sweetie!!!!!
What more could you've asked for for Christmas!!! Keep up the good work and remember to always be who ya are, not a reflection of what those around ya want ya to be.....at least that's my philosophy. Sometimes it works well other times it don't, but in the end you can always say....what cha see is what cha get LOLOLOLOL

Good Luck Kiddo!!!!!!!
~Tina~
Posted 12/29/2004 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Danielle,
You don't know me because I'm new, but I feel like Tina in that I am SO PROUD of you! Congratulations on your admission to Flagler!!!! Ohboy is right, keep it where you can see it every day! I was one of those girls in high school that was tormented by both girls and boys, I was always afraid of being hit, having hair pulled, was called names, it was awful. My brother and sisters were very popular, but I was very tall and very shy. So I was a real geek. And I made a "mistake" with a boy early on and was call the local "*****," by everyone all four years for that one mistake. So high school was a 4 year nightmare. I got through it by choosing a few things that I care about deeping and focusing my time and heart on them. They were music, sewing, and cooking. It'd be different choices nowadays, that was 30 years ago. But the days did go by, I prayed a lot, read my Bible a lot in those days, and soon it was Graduation. Just like it will be for you.
Psychology is wonderful fun. You will LOVE every word of it! I got straight A's in that degree, but not my nursing degree, got a few B's in that one. The Statistics course can be a bit hairy, and the Human Sexuality course is just weird, but other than that it's wonderful. So YOU have a LOT to look forward to!!! Those dingdongs in high school are.....well....so "high school!" It sounds like you are just way more mature that than! Don't worry about your eating. Some days you will eat a bit more, other days you will get your heart preoccupied with something that catches your interest, and you won't feel a bit like eating. For example, if you go to the library and start reading some sociology and psychology now...you won't be able to put the stuff DOWN long enough to worry about eating you'll be so ENTHRALLED! And a good old Business Law textbook would not be over your head either! That's the first book and it's so much fun! YOU have a GOOD heart. Allow yourself to stay "age-appropriate." Your parents "grown-up" problems are not meant to rest on your shoulders. Let them and their anxieties rest squarely on their shoulders. It's what is right and good and what both God and your parents intend. You will become, as you grow older, very good at saying "Not my issue!" because more and more people will want to draw you into their stuff, especially as caring and sweet as you are. I talk too much, but Tina and boo are good true friends. So I will shut up for awhile!!!! Pammi
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