New Member... My depression is affecting husband... Need a little of advice.

When I rethink this, I agree with Karen. I have myself noticed a point where doing too much for the person can have a negative impact on yourself. You do need to think of yourself first. I am, like karen, naturally giving but in the same sense I will stop if I feel like its not making an impact.
I didn't realize you were being so giving. Thats above and beyond what I have done for my man!

I think if he supports you that it is good that you do things around the house. I did the same thing for my first husband. I did all the cooking, shopping, laundry and housekeeping and I enjoyed it. So if you enjoy doing nice things for him, that is a plus. But do take care of you. Don't forget your needs. What you do is a lot, even though people don't think being a homemaker is much, it is. You are taking care of him and that is a lot. Be proud of what you do. And as long as you don't feel stressed, go for it.

I hope that you are having a good day today.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

I guess I would sit him down and explain how important this is to you. Let him know that you may not see your grandmother that much more in the future and that you are close to your cousin. Try to be rational about it, like I say, explaining how important it is to you, and that you only have one chance to do things like this. Hopefully he will be compassionate about it and you two can go. Have you thought about going by yourself? Would he go for that. My first husband never let me do anything on my own. That was one downfall of our marriage. He was controlling. I hope that your husband isn't that way.

Hugs, Karen

Driving four of five hours by yourself is hard. It is hard to sit for that long of time. I understand why you wouldn't want to go by yourself. But at least you know if you do feel adventurous, you could make the trip.

I hope that you don't have to miss these events. I hope that he will go with you. Let us know what happens when you talk to him.

Hugs, Karen

I don't feel like I said that much to help you, I hope that you are feeling better. Relationships are hard at times. We wonder if we are being treated fairly, but if you are happy with your SO then that is all that matters.

My first husband was really posessive and controlling in ways. But I knew I was doing the best that I could and I think that is all that matters. He died in 2000 from lung cancer. I have remarried a couple of years ago to a fantastic man. It is like night and day. But I did stick my first relationship out and I have no regrets. And if there become any, it will be my own fault because I wasn't more assertive, but so far, I have none.

I know that you are trying really hard, and you know if you are trying enough. That is all we really have to do, is do the best that we can. I take life one day at a time, that is all that I can do. But I am 51 and I feel I have lived the best that I could with what I had (which wasn't much) so I have no regrets in life. We all have different goals, some of us persue a career, some of us live the best we can. I have wondered if I could have done more, but I have been happy for the most part. So I can't complain.

I hope that you can continue to get through this. Try not to blame yourself for things. Even if you are depressed, it can only bother him if he lets it. He is responsible for his reactions and responses. So don't blame yourself if he is not happy. We all are responsible for our own moods and happiness. We cannot blame the other person for that.

Take care my dear. Have a great day!

Hugs, Karen

Definately a good thing.

People change, that is good. I think love grows in a relationship and that we get closer as time goes on. So that is probably what is happening. I am glad that he is becoming more affectionate with you. Us as women, need that. We thrive on that. Even if it is just conversation, it is good.

I hope that things are gettnig better for you all teh way around. Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen