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16yo dealing with depression.

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Posted 6/12/2010 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
Mum was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer, in june of 2009. since then i have been on a downward spiral. i dont know how to feel, and i dont know how i will ever cope without my mum. i have three younger sisters that i look after and at the moment struggling with. the cooking, the cleaning, the washing, the bathtimes, plus, peer pressure, bullying, homework, exams, and all of that.

please help me find a way to release emotion in a safe and healthy way,

 

Posted 6/12/2010 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Commvv,

I am so sorry about your mum. This must be devestating for you right now. Know that we all are praying for her. It is hard to find the right words to say in a situation like this. I lost my first husband to lung cancer and I was in my 40's. Believe me, it wasn't easy, but things did work out.

You are a strong girl taking care of your siblings. And I am sure that somebody will step in and help you. What about your father, is he around? I sure do hope so.

I will get you some sites that might help you. Coping with a loss like this is not easy, you are so young to have to go through this. And believe me depression is hard for somebody your age, but it is normal. Can you talk to a school counselor? Or is school over? You need counseling of some sort right now.

Coping is hard. You have to take it one day at a time. I can't imagine you haveing to take care of your siblings without help. Are there any family members that will help you?

Keep posting and let us know what is going on. In the meantime I will find some sites for you that might help. But what you are facing is a huge issue right now. And you need some outside help.

STay with us. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen

http://teenhut.com

http://teencentral.com

http://nineline.com

 Spend as much time with your mum as you can.  Talk about memories and good things.  I know that she loves you very much and doesn't want to leave you.  But it is out of her hands and in the hands of God.  Know that I care.  Will help you as much as I can...

Posted 6/13/2010 6:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi CCMMVV

I just want to put my arms around you right now and hug you.

Are you in Australia? If you are, you can call the Cancer Council and they will help you or direct you to help. You don't have to cope with all of this on your own, there is help available. You can also speak to the Salvation Army who can help you. If you aren't in Australia, then speak to your family doctor, he will be able to help you as well.

Don't take the bullying, speak to your teachers, confide in one teacher and tell them of the home situation and the school situation as well, they can put a stop to it. I would also speak to the principal about the bullying, the home situation and the exam situation, maybe they can give you some sort of dispensation with your exams, perhaps take an overall mark and grade you that way.

You're a wonderful teenager doing all that for your mother and siblings. Keep your chin up sweetheart and please let us know how you are going, and make sure you do what Karen has said and spend as much time as possible with your mum.

You and your family will be included in my prayers tonight.
Posted 6/13/2010 9:02 AM (GMT 0)
Wow! i cannot believe that someone actually commented on this. i will definatley keep in touch, for sure. I am in Australia, in Perth. My Dad, is a drug and alcohol addict, and isnt very helpful at the moment. But i am trying to get him to go to rehab. Mum went into hospital this morning, to try and reduce her pain. And i dont really have much help. i dont think i need it. i dont want to ask either.
I will keep in touch, over the next few days, to let you know how she's getting on.
thankyou so much for your support.
chels.
Posted 6/13/2010 9:29 AM (GMT 0)
hi, jamie here. aussie too!! you are being real brave mate. here for you. do seek support. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 6/13/2010 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Chels

Sweetheart, I want to urge you to ring the Cancer Council, they have trained cancer nurses there on the phones who will speak to you and ask you a lot of questions about the home situation. They will help you, believe me. I have had experience with them and they were wonderful to me and I am sure they will be to you also. Don't be afraid, they will only direct you to some help and you DO need it, you need support and you are not getting it from your father. He sounds like he is completely off the planet and not coping at all, try not to worry too much about him, he is an adult and can look after himself for now. The main responsibility is you and your siblings. Your mum is in a good place in hospital with the best of care at the moment, so that is good.

Chels, remember we are here for you and post whenever you can so we know you are okay. You are in my prayers.
Posted 6/13/2010 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Chels,

Listen to Harrington, you should get ahold of the cancer council. They will help you. This is too much for you to endure on your own. And ti sounds like you are doing this all by yourself. You are going to need the extra help. There will be a time when they can really help you. Especially when you need some time alone or to get out and do errands. This is down the road though.

Keep posting and know that we all care about you. You are one strong young adult but you need some support. You can get that here.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/15/2010 5:23 AM (GMT 0)
hello!
went to visit mum last night in the hospital. she is looking alot better, than saturday and sunday. i have researched the cancer council and they are getting back to me today,
having a bit of a crapty day, just cannot get up and happening! got loads of stuff to do. Anyway, will let you know how mums scans go tomorrow.

hope all is well in all of your worlds.
chels.
Posted 6/15/2010 5:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Chels

So pleased you have contacted the Cancer Council, if they can't help you they will certainly direct you to someone who can. Glad your mum is improving, she is in good hands there. You're allowed to have crappy days you know, everyone does. I can only imagine how much you have to do but hopefully help will be on the way soon.

You're a wonderful girl and remember to keep us posted on all things that are happening.
Posted 6/15/2010 8:40 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Harrington49! i dont know your name so thats all i can call you for now! The support here is tremendous. i am so grateful that i found it. more people like me need to be aware of it.
will post tomorrow.
love to all
chels
Posted 6/17/2010 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Chels

How is your mum doing? How are you and your siblings doing? Did you hear back from the Cancer Council? I know a lot of questions, but I am extremely worried about your situation. I am really glad that you found this site too and that is how I felt also when I first found it, you immediatetly feel that there is someone in the world who cares about you and wants to know your problems.

Please keep in touch Chels because we are all here for you and want to know how you are going.
Posted 6/17/2010 5:05 PM (GMT 0)

Hello,

I just wanted to post that your Mom is in my prayers. My Mom was just dx'd with stage 4 lung cancer, so I know how scared you feel.

I send many many hugs and try not to put too much on your plate (I know you have to care for your sisters...and Mom) but otherwise take care of yourself too.

I know it's hard, believe me, I'm saying these words to you and I can't even follow them.

Take care sweetie,

Mogs

Posted 6/18/2010 5:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hello!
mum is doing okay. she is still in pain and the doctors at the hospital are being wonderful, they put a ketamine drip into her stomach last night. which she found quite painful. she is in the palliative care section of the hosp, and i just cant handle all the dieing people there. its awful. but that doesnt stop me from visiting her.
Any advice or home remedies for earaches? my younger sister keeps waking up in the middle of the night, with a sore ear, i am taking her to the doctor tomorrow, but for the mean time? any suggestions?
Will update over the next couple of days as to how mum is. They have now taken her off chemo. which is kind of a relief, but also really scary, because as much as i hate to admit it, i know that we are running out of options.
Got heaps of advice from the Cancer council, and they directed me to the carers association, which will also help me to look after my little family, but also someone to look out for me every now and then.
Hope all is well in everybody's world,
Chels.
Posted 6/18/2010 12:22 PM (GMT 0)
For the earache Chels,

Get some sweet oil. You can get it at the drug store. put it on a piece of cotton and put it in her ear. That has always worked for me.

You sound so mature for your age. That is good, but wish you could enjoy your young years. Though I know you love your siblings so much, that you probably don't even think of it as work. You are a sweet soul.

Still praying for you and your family. Know that we all care about you here.

If the sweet oil doesn't work, then take her to the doc. But it sounds like wax build up and that will break it down, though she could have some other kind of situation going on.

Take care sweetie.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/19/2010 7:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Chels

That is good news about the Cancer Council contacting you, please take any help they offer because you need it. I think taking your little sister to the doctor is the go, she might have a middle ear infection and may need antibiotics to clear it.

I am glad your mother is being looked after in palliative care, they are wonderful nurses there so she is in excellent hands.

I am so proud of you Chels, you are so mature and responsible, that must be a relief to your mum.

You're in my prayers and please let us know how you are going.
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