Loneliness or depression

I have suffered from loneliness most of my life and depression for about 12 years. I am reading a book now about loneliness which separates it as its own emtional condition. I have taken a/d meds and anti anxiety for many years. Even at the highest dose of my a/d med I still feel very lonely. As some of you who know me and undestand my current situation, it's because I am living alone for the 1st time. I have friends and I try to get together with them when I can but everyone seems to have such busy  lives and the plans fall through at times making me feel even worse. I have signed up for some seminars and I do volunteer work. I belong to a depression support group but it only meets once a month and I have yet to make a friend there even though I have tried. Many in the group are parents of bipolar children so our emorional problems are different. While I can get out during the day and participate in some activities, the night is what is so difficult. I have no one to cook for anymore and there are only so many times you can call someone. So I find the night very difficult when I can't talk to anyone. When you feel so lonely it is hard to concentrate on reading or TV. I try but I guess I just end up feeling sorry for myself which is no good. I would like to hear from anyone who feels like me and how you cope with your situation. The only family I have are two sons and one is far away and the other way to busy to have much time for me. I find myself crying all the time because I can't handle these terrible feelings. I don't want to be so isolated but life just seems to be isolating me. I have people to email and that helps but hearing a voice at night is what I really need.

Aurora

Hi Sashaxx, thank you so much for your reply.I can alway use a new friend here. I have been divorced many years and my sons are adults. My older son has always lived with me and he needed to learn some skills for independent living so he went to a program that teaches young adults how to live on their own. He will be gone about 3 months. Then we have to get him his own apartment so he can maintain an independent life. He has learning disabilities and epilepsy so that is why he lived with me until now but I was worried if something happened to me he wouldn't know what to do. I couldn't put the burden on his brother, my younger son, so I found this program but he is far away for the summer. It means I will always be living alone from now on and that is what I am struggling with. I hope I can sell my house when the market improves and get a small apt. for myself. I think I would feel more secure in a building with others. Listening to music is a good idea and I will try that. It also helps to come here and post and hope to get answers. You are very kind to let me know about yourself and I appreciate that you "jumped in " to help me. I hope I can do the same for you. I would be glad to answer any of your posts. How wonderful that you have your daughters. They must be a big comfort for you.

Many hugs,

Aurora

Reading all of this shatters every ounce of hope I have left of getting married. I'm 25 and never even had a boyfriend so it probably wouldn't happen anyway but knowing there's a chance I'll still be lonely if I do happen to get married defeats the purpose of me even trying to find someone now.

no you're fine, i was just venting my frustration in the difficulty of finding a future husband and the confusion in not caring anymore or not even wanting one since apparently love doesn't last anyway, from what i read. i shouldn't have stepped in... sorry.

Hi Vdogg, I am so sorry if I said something that discouraged you. I need to clarify what I mean about my loneliness. It hasn't been something that has affected my whole life. I guess what I mean is I have had various times of loneliness in my life but it was never a constant thing. It was during times like when I got divorced and when my Mom passed away, but those are times when one does tend to feel sad or lonely. I guess when I posted I was at a very low point and was letting too much negativity get into the way. I am missing my son because he is gone for the summer but he will be back in Aug. And I probably will wish he was gone again

(lol). Do not give up hope in meeting someone. As Karen said it happens when you least expect it. Yes, I have been divorced for sometime and I didn't remarry but that was out of my choice. I have had several relationships over the years but I really did not want to be married anymore. The opportunity was there but I did then and do now prefer being on my own. That's not to say that I don't have male

companionship because I do. They are friends who I can get together with for a movie or dinner. My son is 36 and he has only had one girl friend and only had a few other dates. But I have told him when he worries about getting married that it will happen because he is open to it. So much has to do with ones attitude towards the goals they hope to achieve. You are young and you will have opportunities. If you can join a group or find activities that involve men and women you can make friends and who knows you can meet. Doing something like joining a volley ball league or softball or soccer is a good place to meet people. I know it takes effort but it pays off in the end. Do you go to church?

Many people who go to church meet others and they may have a group for young adults. Please know that I care and that I hope you will feel better about yourself. I know you are a good and valuable person and you can come here anytime and have friends who will respond to you. This is a very caring group and even though I am older there are friends here of all ages. Try to take good care of yourself.

Aurora

Just another note to say most young people now a days are getting married much later, in their late 20s or 30s. So please don't be discouraged.

Post Edited (Aurora60) : 6/17/2010 4:43:14 PM (GMT-6)

i thought i would not find love again after my precious partner died in my arms. (2006) and now engaged. i took a long while, i thought that rengaging was disrespectful. it took me 2 yrs. and love came around, and yes i didn't see it coming. jamie.

ps, she is always in my heart.