survived the 1st 2 weeks but have 8 more to go

My son has been gone about 2 weeks and I am finding it difficult to adjust to my empty house. I was sick for a few days so that was hard because I couldn't get out. Last week was better than the first. I had the good long cry that usually helps get out some of the stress and it did. I did OK last week because my younger son came over for dinner 3 times and kept me company. That made a big difference in how I felt. My friends are not being very responsive and that is hard because I try to make plans but nobody is available. There's too much me, myself and I. One friend told me she has such a busy summer she can't possibly do anything with me. She can't even call me but said I could call her and see if she is around. I know that not every day of her summer is taken with plans, I guess she

just doesn't want to make the effort. I am trying so hard to find new friends but it is difficult. I have a few classes coming up so I will see if there is someone to meet. I am not asking a lot, I just want a few people to go out with ocassionally or talk with on the phone. One night I was so sad and lonely I called the depression hotline. And the person was very nice and talked to me for a while so I know I have that option. But talking to a stranger isn't the same as talking to people you know.

I know I must sound like I am complaining a lot but this is a very difficult adjustment for me and I am not doing well. My younger son is going to Europe in July for 2 weeks and that scares me to death. I am so afraid I will get very sick like I did last summer and not have anyone to depend on for help. I will truly be alone those 2 weeks and I am just dreading it. I am just so lost.

Aurora

Aurora,
That is so great that you've made it through the first 2 weeks. I'm sure it must be very hard, but you are doing so well making plans & trying to stay busy. Things like these usually get easier with practice & time so keep hanging in there and know that we will be here to support you however we can.

take care,
frances

Thanks Karen. I know I can always depend on your support. I know my younger son will only be gone 2 weeks but my other son is away till Aug. 19 and they are my only family. I am trying to put a list together for people to call on if I have an emergency but it is the time when so many go away. And my friends have really not been supportive. I guess no one else knows what it feels like to be so sad and alone. The classes are one afternoon seminars, there are 4 of them. They are on sleep, meditation, laughter and meditation and how to be a better listener. I am hoping I can meet someone in class. I am also going to another center where they may have activities I can join. I have a depression support group but it only meets once a month but still is is something. I do have a dog. He is 15 and is deaf. He is getting cranky too and has bad arthritis. But he is good company. I have had so many dogs but after this one no more. I am hoping to go to a retirement community and it would be too hard to have a dog even though they allow small ones. But if I had an apt on the 3rd floor it would be a trick to get the dog out quickly. But if I can just get there I think I will be much happier and will have lots of activities and new people to meet. It's a long road inbetween here and there- have to get my house sold and rid myself of years of stuff. Well, i'll keep posting and hope people will respond.

Hugs,

Aurora

Thank you Fraces and Sasha. I must have posted my reply to Karen just when you were answering me so please don't think I wasn't recognizing your support. You all have been so wonderful and kind to me and it means the world to me.

Frances, I hope things are easing up for you and that you are doing better. Didn't you start a new job? I hope it is going well for you.

Sasha, I know how it can be even with people around you can still feel lonely. It must be hard when your girls are away at school. I had a hard time the years my youngest was away at college. And he was so far away that I only saw him a few times a year. But he lives in the city about 15 miles from me and he tries to come and visit often. But I don't want to put pressure on him because he works so hard and does have a busy and active life.

Thank you all for caring. You have made my evening much easier.

Hugs,

Aurora

Hi again Karen, I think it is true that when you haven't actually experienced something it is hard to put yourself in that place. There is nothing wrong with this it is just hard to know about something if you never experience it. But you are very comforting to me and I admit I do come here to lean on others for help and support. I try to be a strong person and so often I am but I do have my moments

of weakness. I often find myself crying a lot and it is just out of sheer loneliness when I can't even find someone to talk to on the phone. Yesterday I was grocery shopping and really took my time and talked to people who work in the store as I have shopped there for 20 some years so I know the personnel. At least I felt connected. And that is very important to me. I need to feel connected to the real world. I am trying to take this one day at a time. That is all I can do because looking at the whole summer overwhelms me. But I will keep posting and hopefully someone will come on and share a few words with me. I try to help others here

especially someone new as I know it is hard to write that first one. Thank you so much for being so good to me.

Many hugs,

Aurora

keepin' em crossed to frances!! aurora, hang in there, here 4 ya. with compassion 2 you both, jamie.