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Posted 6/30/2010 2:39 AM (GMT 0)

I saw my doc today.  He told me to up my dosage of Citalopram from 1 to 2 tabs a day, so I will try that.  But I do know what triggers my depression....it is the loneliness.  Some days are worse than others, it is like it is 'chewing me up inside '.  I need to meet people, make friends, but in our small area there isnt much in the way of groups. 

I couldnt even find much online ( forums ), until I came here, which helps. This forum is fantastic!  Everybody needs friends, and if you dont have any...it can be so hard and awfully lonely.  My husband feels I shouldnt be worrying about it, and to just concentrate on family...which I do, but I dont want to be just a slave to housework and see nobody.  I hope I am making sense, It is so hard to write about how I feel.  I am a very reserved shy person, but once I know someone well and vice versa...I open up and you cant shut me up  smilewinkgrin  

I just wish I had friends.... 

Posted 6/30/2010 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha

I am sorry to hear you are so lonely. What about neighbours, are there any in your street or area that are around your age that perhaps you could start talking to? Do you have kids? Usually you can make friends with your kids friends' mothers. I have also found the chat forum on here to be pretty good, it takes your mind off things as well.

I hope the increase in your meds helps and please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
Posted 6/30/2010 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

Thanks for your reply. No my neighbours keep very much to themselves, so I dont know them. I will have to find something to keep me busy... Im online a lot as well...

Thanks Harrington
Posted 6/30/2010 7:09 AM (GMT 0)
Sometimes the worst kind of lonely is when you live with ssomone (husband), but you still feel all alone. I think overall it takes a real effort on your part to connect with new friends. Even just one really good friend would help you out a lot. I don't know if you go to church, but that's a place where you can likely make some friends. Check the littlr newsletter type newpaper for your town for support groups. I know I almost always have an ongoing support group for women (I am a counselor) going and many forge friendships. Call some counseling places to see if they have support groups or google support groups for your home town area Find a special interest group, like a book club. Check the bulletin board at the library for postings of something that intersts you. I personally think starting in a group setting might be your best bet for finding someone to connect with. I have an email buddy (female in another town) that I "met" on a bulletin board 13 years ago and we email and chat about every other day for 13 days. She may be a cyber friend, but I consdier her one of my best friends. because she has always been there for me as a supportive, understanding friend. Stay open to any possibilities. Do you have a dog? Here they have a doggie park and doggie mall where people meet whilr walking their dogs. Evev posting on this board might help relieve a tad bit of your loneliness. Loneliness is a very sad thing and is only intensified by depression, so be sure you take good care of yourself. And to risk offending every guy on this board, your husband is a just being a guy when he gives you his opinion....he probably is trying to help in his own wat, but if there is anything I have learned as a counselor is that men think much more differently than women, which can cause some misunderstandings. One last thoughy...if you don't already, start keeping a journal to vent your feelings,etc.
Posted 6/30/2010 10:32 AM (GMT 0)
am here for you. e-mail is always open. take care. jamie.
Posted 6/30/2010 10:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

We have other lonely people here on the forum, so you definately are not alone with this. I think looking for groups is a good idea that horse crazy had. This might be the ticket for you. Or how about taking a class of some sort. That is a wonderful way to meet people. Something that is of interest to you.

Know that this is a good place to come when you are lonely or down. We all try to support eachother. And believe me when I say that I know about being on the computer too much. I am too. I have neglected a lot in my house because of being here. But the support is wonderful and I enjoy it.

I hope that you start to feel better soon. KNow that you can come here at anytime. We have people from all different parts of the world so it is easy to find somebody even in the wee hours of the night.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Find something outside of the house to occupy some of your time, you deserve the "me" time.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/30/2010 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha, I believe I may have coresponded with you before. Don't remember if I answered you or you me. Anyway, I truly understand what you are going through as I suffer very much from loneliness. I am an emptynester so I am living alone now for the first time. I have only been on my own for 3 weeks. The first few days

I didn't think I could get through it. I called a hotline just to have someone to talk to. I have friends but so many are busy or away over the summer so I don't have many people to do things with. I have made an effort though to find things to help me. I do volunteer work, I have signed up for classes, I have found a new support group and I am returning to my old childhood church. I think church is one of the best ways to help with loneliness. You can meet people and join activities the church has. Do you have children? If you have school age children you can volunteer at their school and that way make it easier to meet the parents of your children's schoolmates. You can set up play dates and try to get to know parents.

I hope this may help you. I have days when I just don't know what to do I get so lonely so trust that I know exactly how you feel. But you at least have your husband with you at night for companionship. Yesterday I went to a movie by myself just so I could have something to do and get out of the house. Nighttime

is the worst for me. I have no one to talk to. Coming on here to HW is a good way to make friends. Everyone is very welcoming. If you post a thread you will get answers from others and I will always be willing to answer you. Take good care of yourself and hope you will write again soon.

Many hugs,

Aurora

Posted 7/1/2010 1:27 AM (GMT 0)

Horse Crazy,

Hello and thankyou!  :-)    What you said helped a lot and makes sense.  I do need to make more of an effort to 'get out there' and make friends instead of feeling so shy.  Even to have cyber friends would be great, to talk to and share with... You have given me many ideas and options to think about so again thanks..

And Jamiee, thanks :-) ..how are you doing?

Thank you Karen, I will keep posting.  And I will find something outside of the house to keep me occupied, and find that ' Me ' time .... yes we all need that.

Aurora, we have corresponded before..hello again!, and it is fantastic to read you have signed up for classes and are 'getting out there' doing new things to beat the loneliness.  Thats great!  Yes this forum is fantastic...just talking to someone helps.

Thank you all  :-)

Posted 7/1/2010 6:16 AM (GMT 0)
keep posting my friend. this is a wonderful community. we know about depression!!! here for you, jamie,
Posted 7/1/2010 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha,  I noticed from this thread that you say you take citalopram. My son was just prescribed this a/d med, 20 mgs to start. I would really appreciate it if you would tell me your experience with this med,side effects you have had and how long it takes for the side effects to go away. Has it helped your mood?  My son is on the verge of a breakdown and his dr. thought this med would help him.

I know it takes about 4 weeks to really start kicking in and helping lift the depression. I have read so many bad things on the internet about this med. The

things I have read are nightmares! I don't want my son to take a med that is going to give him umpteen dozen bad side effects. I spoke with two pharmacists and they say don't look at the internet that all the people who post these replies are just telling their bad reactions. So if you have had a good experience with this please, please answer me back and let me know what you can and how you are feeling. I will be so grateful to hear from you.

Many hugs,

Aurora

Posted 7/1/2010 10:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

Sure no problem..firstly everyone is different, what suits one may not suit another of course, but Im finding Citalopram is helping, although my doc suggested I up my dose. Citalopram is meant to have fewer side effects ( so i was told ). I was told some of the side effects could be tiredness, dry mouth and maybe nausea.

The only side effect I am experiencing is tiredness. When I was on Flurox, the nausea was terrible and disturbed sleep and everday I had this constant 'floaty feeling', but since my doc changed me to Citalopram, I am fairly happy with it. I also have Diazapam for my odd real bad day, but do not take these often.

I am not one for just taking anything without reading up on the internet about it. It is my body and I want to know all I can about what I am taking, so fair enough that you look on the internet about this like I do. I however only found good/fair things written about Citalopram. I didnt see the bad you may have seen. The Pharmacists are right in a way when they say the internet can be full of peoples bad experiences and can be off putting.

Please let me know how your son goes with this, I would be very interested to know. Keep in touch.
Posted 7/2/2010 2:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much Sasha for answering my question. I did talk to the pharmacist who reassured me this was a safe med. If it doesn't work or the side effects are too bad my son can call his dr. and try something else. He has a long drive ahead of him tomorrow for the weekend so he won't start taking the med until Sat.

But I will keep you posted on his results.

Aurora

Posted 7/2/2010 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
Sigh...I feel your lonliess and sadly, I have no magic solution.  It is hard for a depressed person to make lasting firends, because I know with me they get tired of my on again off again relationship with them.  I have found one good way to meet people is to join a support group for women.  All have different issues, but almost all have depression as an underlying issue.  You can find such support groups at churches, in your local newspaper, thru counseling offices....you just need to hunt around.  a lot a husbands support us, but don't really understand us.  You have found the forum and we will always be there for you.
Posted 7/2/2010 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
Thankyou. And yes a lot of husbands do support us, but dont really understand us, I agree. It's not that I cant make friends, I used to have some but my husband can tend to 'control' the situation and make me feel guilty in the way that I dont need friends and that my place is in the home with him and the children. Dont get me wrong, he is a fantastic guy but he doesnt understand my need to have friends, and feels I should be contented at home. He has said this many times and it makes me feel angry and sad inside.
At least I have friends here in the forum....
Posted 7/2/2010 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha, I understand what you are saying. It is important to have friends and have the social interaction with others. Having a friend or two is good for you and keeps you connected to the outside world. You can't isolate yourself from others and that is what your husband sounds like he is doing. Excuse me for saying all this but it seems he may be a bit controlling. You need more than your husband and children for companionship. Going out and doing things with others helps to keep the loneliness and depression at bay. If you stay at home too much you are really cutting yourself off from humanity. You would be surprised how good you would feel if you had a friend to go to lunch with or shopping or just to have coffee and a good talk.  Do you have a dog? If so you could walk your dog around the neighborhood and see who else is out with their dogs. It's easy to start a conversation with someone else who is walking their dog. Also are your children school age? If so maybe you could get to know some of the parents at their school. I probably suggested it before but how about doing some volunteer work?

You could do that at a school. library, senior center or even a hospital. Are there activities you can join? A book club? I think your husband needs to be more understanding of just how you feel. If he is at work all day and kids are in school that leaves you a lot of alone time. I hope you can talk to him and try to get him to really listen to you. Everyone needs friends. Do you go to church? This is a really great way to meet people and something that makes you feel good. Please know you have many friends here on the forum and I will aways answer you and want you to know that I am your friend. Take good care of yourself. Try to come into chat some time.  Don't worry about being shy, no one can see you and you just have to write what ever you want.

Many gentle hugs,

Aurora

Posted 7/3/2010 5:15 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Aurora, that is exactly it!... I do need friends to keep me connected to the outside world, as isolation can just eat away at you. That is ok Aurora for you to suggest he is controlling as it is true! Just a coffee with a friend or chatting to friends or even cyber friends for a start would help. Thank you for all the suggestions as I am determined to do something for myself.
Posted 7/3/2010 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha,

I just want to say that I am happy you are getting some good advice from Aurora. As she is a very wise lady. I hope that you both are feeling well today.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/3/2010 4:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sasha & Karen, I am glad I helped you, Sasha to understand the importance of keeping connected to the outside world. I hope you can find some things to get you started. Thanks, Karen,for your support.  It is 4th of July, my least favorite holiday and I am pretty down. I thought about going to a movie by myself but the only film playing at the theater I am comfortable at has a foreign film with subtitles. Not that I mind but it sounds a bit depressing. So I am not sure what to do today. Maybe I will go to the bookstore and browse. I have to also go to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. So at least I can get out for awhile. The movie would take up a good part of the afternoon but I don't think I am up for it. Waitring to hear from 2 friends to see if they are available to go out but it may not work out. So I guess the bookstore is the best place. If you want to go into chat later Sasha just reply to this and tell me what time you would be on. Also let me know what time

zone you are in.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 7/3/2010 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

Subtitles are the pits, sometimes you can't even read them. I know what you mean about this being your least favorite holiday. I am not fond of it either. All the noise and tourists. It is just hard for me. I like it quiet. The traffic is horrible. We are in a tourist town and sucks.

I hope that you find something to keep you occupied. I will check chat later too and if I see you, I will join you.

I was hoping to do something with the grandkids this weekend, but they have their own stuff going on. I guess that they are getting a little too old for grandpa and grandma. I think you understand. Before it was the coolest thing to see us. Now they are all engaged with friends and activities. Which is healthy for them, so I understand.

I will be around most of the weekend as far as I know. So I will talk with you again.

Have a good one.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/4/2010 11:36 AM (GMT 0)
HERE FOR YOU AURORA. PS. YOU ARE A WONDEFUL AND CARING CONTRIBUTOR HERE ON THE FORUM-AND DON'T FORGET IT EITHER!!!

-JAMIE :-)
Posted 7/6/2010 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora
Thanks for being there... Sorry I didnt get back and reply sooner. School holidays at the mo, and my girls have 2 weeks off so are keeping me very busy.
Thank you Karen and Jamie also.
Talk soon
Oh and Aurora..I am in NZ.
Posted 7/8/2010 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
i hate myself
Posted 7/8/2010 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Avarice,

I am sorry that you hate yourself. Please start your own thread and tell us a little about yourself. We would like to get to know you better.

Hugs, Karen
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