new member introduction

hey everyone

my name is cute.......its my real name.......i m joining healing well cause i ve had my share of bad luck and pain...was in depression for 2 years.....but i just fought through all of it.....and one of my friends who knows me really well told me to join because she has seen me in a lot of pain and heard all about it...so she said that since you ve gone through all of this...you can maybe help others as well.....so here i am......

i am 24 years of age.....and i think i have seen almost every failure in the world.....i fell sick after my 10th grade.....my body just stopped working.....for 3 months i was on the bed.....and when finallly i got out of my bed i developed this numbness in my body.....it was diagnosed as a semiheameparalytic attack.....i lost sensation in the left part of my body.....just imagine the weird feeling when u cross ur legs for a while and then u get up....they are all like numb and all.....thats what happened to whole of my left body......accompanied with a lot of pain ......i was a very good sportsperson.....i had to stop playing........and the numbness spread to the other side as well.....so i was a walking stick....for sometime i cudnt walk ....eat ...talk....i felt no pain.....and trust me its the worst disease....you feel dead.......i could not feel anything....more than anything its so annoying....i was in the hospital for several months...and all doctors came up with was that we cannot figure out why this is happening....all the tests are normal and all.....so they thought i was shamming...now why would one sham to stay at the hospital.....i never understood that....my only passions sports and playin guitar....are gone....i did not feel alive.....i felt like killing myself....but than i realised that i m strong thats the only reason why i m suffering through this.....and i cannot fight with god.....what good wud that do....cant fight with air....so might as well accept it and enjoy it......i had these shooting pains.....you knw as if someone just put a knife in you and just cutting your skin....pains i cannot tell you of....my skin used to tear out itself and i would start to bleed anytime....after 3 years of this....a new thing started...i started fainting...fits or seizures as you all might call em.....i used to faint anywhere....and while in that fit...my body used to jump as if someone just gave me a shock on my back....it still happens til date.....i have shooting pains because of which i cant see sometimes.....my left eye goes black....and sometimes it bleeds as well....but i dont let it bother me ....easier said than done....but i have to because i m sure if i let it bother me or take over me.....my dad my mom will not be able to cope with it....they have seen enough and i dont think they ll survive all of this....so i have to live with a smile for them.....i complain...yes i do....most of the times....but i dont let it come between my work or anything.....

apart from this ......i had other failures as well....as in academic....which i did not deserve.....my results were mixed up with some other guy who flunked....so i flunked n he was all happy and what not......it was only when we approached the board and asked them to show my sheets they agreed that there has been a mix up.....they gave me ....70 % and an apology letter....what good is that.....i remember that time....i did not talk to anyone for good 3 months....i missed all my entrances....and i landed up in a crapty 3rd grade college....

and also ....my girlfriend......who i totally loved...and was loyal too..ditched me for another guy after 2 years of our relation....and luckily on our 2nd anniversary.....dont even ask me how i felt.....i did not get into a relation after that.....

i still am unwell.....all of the things i ve said above....i still have all of it.....but i just dont think about it.....and i fought all the depression....by prioritizing my life.....i think of my family and i live for them....and let me give you a very very good remedy for PAIN.......

LAUGH.....WHEN IN PAIN....START LAUGHING....WHENEVER I HAVE SHOOTING PAINS....I LAUGH......AND TRUST ME IT FEELS MUCH BETTER.....

take care you all.....

god bless..

cute makker

Hi Cute,

I am so glad that you have joined us. It sounds like you are a very understanding person and I do think you could give good advice to others on the forum. You will find though that the weekends are a little slow, but it is busy during the week. We usually have a chat day on Tuesdays and it can be a lot of fun.

Keep posting and know that we here do understand.

Hugs, Karen

i am new here and feeling really down i have not been to work all week and am most likely fired i just have such anger and sadness all the time i aslo have a nees to not want to be around anyone because i cannot stand for people to look at me or pay attention to me i do not feel good about myself and the fact that i might have lost my job is just making it worse because i am the one who called in all week without a legitimate reason and messed it as i always do for my family i am the only one working and i cannot talk do anyone i know because they think depression and mental illness is funny just needed to get some things off my chest

Hi Cute,

I am glad that you were able to remedy your depression without medications. That is a good thing. Wish I could do that, but I am so dependant on meds that I don't dare try. I don't know what would happen if I went off the medications. And honestly that is a scarey thought in itself. I am really happy for you. And happy that you are doing good. Keep up the good work. And keep posting.

Hugs, Karen