I'm depressed and need help.

I can't seem to snap out if it. I started lexapro last week but still can't get out if bed. I feel hopeless and lifeless.

I'm 36, turning 37 in a few months. I'm a doctor, make 170,000 a year. Recently lost my dad. I was dating a wonderful girl at the time and we were thinking about getting married. We had known each other for 14 years and I felt I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She had bought a wedding dress. I had a ring picked out. I was going to propose to her in two weeks. I just can seem to let go and get over it. I've felt like I have always loved this woman. We had talked about having kids. She had talked to her doctor. She bought a fertility monitor. and then a month ago she told me she was unsure of kids and then she said she didn't want kids. She wasn't understanding if my mom at all. My dad had passed away just three months ago and I needed to get her settled down. I started staying with my mom and everyone wa telling me I needed to move out but they didn't understand that my mom needed help.

Now she's gone. I'm having to take care of my mom who has akzheimers and I feel hopeless and sometimes suicidal. I doubt I'd do that but it is a thought that enters my mind. I am upset that me and my ex aren't talking anymore and she broke up with me. Everyone says it's for the best but that's easy for them to say. I did love her. She had been married twice. I loved her before she got married the first time. I thought our time was now.

Now I miss her. She was going to be my wife. Now I'm upset that she will be dating someone else and we won't be together.

I've thought about dating someone else but everyone I look at it's not her.

Now Ill soon be 37 no kids no wife :/

So now I'll soon be 37. Never married. No children. Living and taking care of my mom. I don't have much help with her. I feel like I'm too old for children. I feel hopeless and helpless.

I don't think my mom is ready for the nursing home. She does have money. My girlfriend did break up with me. The child issue started it. I told her I wasn't marrying her to produce a baby I wanted to marry her because I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. She told me I'd regret her if we got married. I couldn't convince her I wouldn't. Then she was saying ibwas doing too much for my mom. But there were bills etc. A lot of things needed to be taken care of when someone does. Things needed to be done and I guess she couldn't wait to put is first and have our life together. Ahe told me all the time she loved me, wanted to get married, then in like two weeks all of it changed and there was no going back.

So now I'm depressed as can be. Can't get out of bed. Don't have any interest in doing things. Everything I did she enjoyed. Football is on and we both loved watching football so that's not any fun anymore.

I don't know why one person can make me feel this bad. But I thought my whole future was going to be with this woman.

I know I'm not too old to have kids but i'm mentally getting too old.