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Posted 11/7/2010 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Everyone,
I am not exactly sure where or how to begin. I have never been the kind of person that talks about herself to other people; I guess that is why my relationship has been set back. I am not looking for answers, but more so, advice.
My boyfriend decided he wanted to take a "break." He told me that I am not the person he first started dating, and sadly, I completely and honestly agree with him. During the length of our relationship, my parents remarried other individuals, my lifelong goal was set on hold, and I left the job I loved in search of a new one. All of these things have allowed myself to create a lonesome, irritable, hurtful individual, and I want to find direction in order to change my life back to the way it was. How do you deal with tragic or sudden events in your life? How do I stop pushing him away, and show him that I truly do love and care for him?
Posted 11/7/2010 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Buckets,

And welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have joined us.

I am sorry that your parents split up and are now with different individuals. That must be really hard for you to deal with. It is traumatic when these things happen and we are young. But remember, life goes on. And yours must too.

Why did you leave a job that you liked so much? What was the reason. It is a bummer when that happens. I figure maybe you moved or something.

We have to learn not to let other peoples problems change our lives and the course that we are on. But if it does happen, we have to learn to adjust to that. One thing about life, is that there will always be changes. You have to learn to take them with stride. It is possible.

Have you sat down and had a heart to heart with your boyfriend. Have you learned what changed about you to cause him to want to go on a break? Can he learn to accept you for who you are? Or do you think you will change back to the way you once were? Either way, if he can't accept you for who you are, he sounds pretty shallow to me in that respect. Maybe it is time for you to meet somebody different.

Try to go with the flow, and take life one day at a time. Things will be better for you. Take care of you. Be happy.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/7/2010 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,
Thank you for the reply. I really appreciate it.

I will start with the job. I was an assistant preschool teacher for about 2 years. The reason I left was due to another teacher in my classroom. She constantly neglected and abused the children, and nothing was ever done about it. I could no longer support a center that promoted that kind of behavior.

Taking life by the horns is such a hard thing to do when your stuck in the mud.

As for the boyfriend...I do not want him to accept me for who I am right now. I do not even like the individual that I have become. I want to find meaning again. I want to find a job where I can make a difference. I have always been a driven individual, but my life has always had a schedule. Now, that schedule has been altered, which caused so much confusion in our relationship. I have spoken with him and I have decided that I need to seek help and get my life back on track before we can get our life on track.
Posted 11/7/2010 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Good thinking. You have to live for you and work on you before you can have a successful relationship. I commend you for this. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Start by talking to your doctor or getting hooked up with counseling. That seems to be the best place to start. I have been on medications for many years, but that is what works for me. I will always be on them I suspect. But I do have a fullfilling life and am happy with that. You do what works for you and know that we are all behind you.

Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/8/2010 2:38 PM (GMT 0)

hi, jamie here, male, 38.

agree with karen 100%. the other thing, is to follow your heart. healing compassion to you. jamie. counselling really does help.

Posted 11/8/2010 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
I am just terrified that when the time comes, he will no longer love me or want to be with me. I know I can be the "old me." The old me is who I truly am. I just need to overcome a large amount of obstacles before I can be that person again. I just wish I could hold his hand while I am doing it.
He told me that he is still in love with the person that I was, that that girl is the girl of his dreams. Do you think there is hope for us or am I holding onto something that needs to be let go?
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