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Posted 11/12/2010 12:17 PM (GMT 0)
I am not even sure what to put here.

I do not know where to begin, but I'm not going to write pages upon pages of my life and where things have gone wrong. What I can tell you, however, is that I am most definitely in need of some guidance. I am feeling very much alone, and very much scared.

I have been through a lot in my life and with each speed bump, I push things aside. I think to myself, "Well, I have things to do and I have no time to mourn, or to 'get past' things." So there begins the vicious base that has now caught up to me..

I cry all the time. I don't sleep, and hell I don't have an appetite most days. I force myself to eat. I am not sure what to do, and need some insight. So, if anyone cares - comment. Please. You could be saving a life.

Thanks.
Posted 11/12/2010 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome, I am new here too.

You story reads very much like my curent condition. I sloughed off the pain of depression/anxiety for 25+ years during which time I had problems with trust in therapy, meds and people. Now due to physical problems added on I have to find help. These on-line sites help and I live close enough to a bigger city to use NAMI. Do a search for it and you will find other help as well.

Again, share here and with others and you will find answers that help you build on each day to a road to recovery.
Posted 11/13/2010 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Silent and Chman,

Hang around here.  We understand what you are going through, and though we aren't docs and such, we have real experiences that may be able to help you cope.

Silent - that you are here - that is a great step for you!  The symptoms you describe are very much depression oriented, so if you have not seen anyone about how you feel, I would advise seeing someone soon - and preferably a psychologist or psychiatrist.  They can make a diagnosis closer to the truth than can GPs.  Don't keep yourself from getting help - please, honestly, see someone as soon as you can.  And let them know exactly how you are feeling - don't hold back.  And if you think the person you picked is not sympathetic to your thoughts, then find someone else - there is someone out there who can help - sometimes it takes a while to find them.  Hang in there - I care about you, and I know others here do as well - this is a very caring and loving site, and we want to help those who are struggling to survive each day.

And write back here - talk, vent, say whatever is on your mind. 

Chman,

The stories are very similar here.  I have found that to be true for me as well.  I have distrust in the medical community in general, so it has been tough for me to find people I can trust, but I have finally found several that are truly interested in helping me.  I have physical problems too, so I understand how that can aggravate depression and anxiety.  This site is a really good one - loving, caring, concerned people with similar problems.  I'll probably never meet anyone here in person, but I can tell you in the short time I have been here, I feel a close attachment to many who post here - and I would be honored to call them my friends.

So be a friend too - stay around, tell us what hurts, and I know as I can, I will try to be here for you.

Best to both of you.

OCD Scythia

Posted 11/14/2010 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
I have been told that the past is past, forget about it and move forward. Don't let it bother you. You need to develop a thick skin. Whats wrong with you?

None of these things were helpful, and like you, I suffered for years, asking myself what IS wrong with me. I found that burying my hurts and disappointments was futile, as they were still there.
Things would come up frequently that I would over react to, with sadness, pain, shame, very bad feelings. It was like re-opening old wounds.
Its better to have a professional to talk to, someone who is not going to say the stupid things that hurt, don't help.
You need to get it off your chest. Explore your feelings, cry it out, before you can move on. When you have heavy layers of sorrow or heart ache, medications can get you up to a point where you can talk about it.
Its common to think that there's no time to feel the pain of disappiontment, loss, to mourn, there is just so much other living that HAS to be done. You aren't the only one. But it'll creep up on you later, and we've all been there. You don't have to suffer alone.
This is a good place to vent, seek advice and encouragement.
Please consider getting a psych evaluation in the event that you have developed clinical depression, only a psychiatrist can do that. Then prescribe the appropriate meds. Sometimes you will have to try different ones before you start to feel better. Do get therapy.

Post again, there are people here who really do care.
Posted 11/14/2010 11:53 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the responses. I appreciate each and every one of them.
I am just left sitting here, wondering what the hell did I do to deserve these feelings.
I cry for no reason, sometimes. Like, for instance, my cat urinated on my clothing and I broke down in tears. That is just NOT like me...

What the hell is wrong with me? =/
Posted 11/14/2010 12:12 PM (GMT 0)
If the cat peed on my clothes, I'd cry too.
You're being hard on yourself.
You are crying and upset because you have stifled alot of emotion in the past, and something emotional is going on now, maybe not that BIG, but it has stirred up your insides.
I went thru a period that I would cry if I heard the Star spangled banner on the TV before ball games. Not that I'm a patriot, an immigrant or anything else. Sort of reminds me of grade school, and innocence.
There's not something wrong with you, its that you're stifling emotions and doing this to yourself and its a habit. Been there, done that.
You know you're depressed, and time to go first to the GP for blood work and a physical. Might give you antidepressants. Maybe send you to a psychiatrist if you have other symptoms, like mood swings. Do you ever have manias?
But most importantly you need a therapist who can help you get over the pains of the past which are haunting you. You need to talk it out and deal with it.
My friends who have cats, old cats, say it is "time" for the cat to pass on when they start peeing in the house, not the litter box. That its easier to go to the vet with them and get it over with than just finding the cat "gone". A way of controlling it some, tho it is still devastating to lose a pet. A touchy subject, but maybe is that what's bothering you?
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