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Posted 11/20/2010 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
I wanted everyone to know that I may be going into the hospital soon.  My depression is really bad and the holidays coming make me, well lets just say "Not Happy"

 

My physical health is horrible and I cant hardly get out of a chair.  I cant be strong when I dont have the ability.

 

If anything changes, I will be in touch.

Posted 11/20/2010 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Only good things lie ahead for you. You will be surrounded with helth care workers which may help you through varying degrees but slo people with similar ailments who may be slleys is helping you to understand that your problems are not unique. These things in fact will help you. Being away for the normal stessors of daily life is obviously helpful in your recovery.

Congraatulations, and best of luck.
Posted 11/20/2010 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
faithfully4you

I am sorry that your depression is getting the best of you and I hope going into the hospital is a good thing for you right now.  Never lose hope in dealing with your fears and depression.

 

Remember we know where your coming from and what you are going through.  Keeping you in my prayers.

 

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 11/21/2010 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
IT IS A GOOD MOVE. HEALING COMPASSION 2 YOU. MAY YOU IMPROVE QUICKLY. HERE FOR YA. JAMIE.
Posted 11/21/2010 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
FF4U,

I think you are really brave to be taking this step, I hope that this will be a positive turn around for you, and I am hoping you are able to gain some insights that will assist you on being stronger once you come home again. I also hope that there is a better network of support set up for you on your release, so you go from strength to strength.

All the best, take very gentle care with you, you are worth it.
Posted 11/21/2010 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa,

Know that we are all thinking of you and praying for you. Let us know how it goes when you can.

Many hugs,

Karen
Posted 11/22/2010 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Everyone and GB~

I am on my way to the doctors and stopped at mcdonalds with my computer.  I just wanted to say thank you for caring so much for me.  I always thought that it would be so much better looking back to 2006 but I don't know that it has.  I really could do without all the stupid romantic jewelry commercials, I think that is the biggest part  of my depression.

I look at them and go "yea,,,,right"

Keep praying for me. 

Posted 11/22/2010 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
Well done FF4U,

Hear from you when you are able, take gentle care of you
Posted 11/26/2010 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Back at the library.  Thank goodness the first holiday is over!!!!  I cant stand even watching tv and the commercials, noone loves like that anymore, those people are the 2%'s and I havent seen one of them for many years!

 

My health is still in question and I am waiting on lab results.  I weigh 117lbs and nothing fits.  Still looking for blood related "cancers" and now they are looking at my endoctrine system.  In good news, my visit to my "girl-check" doc resulted in no diseases or problems for me in that arena, go figure the one thing that I dont use is ok! LOL I dont know why I am laughing about this but all I have done lately is cry.

 

I was wondering if there were a way to get all the text I have written in one place so that I can look over all the years that I have been here.  I would love to have them on paper because they would give me inspiration.

Posted 11/27/2010 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
glad 4 those results teresa. keep fightin' that good fight. alwaus in ya corner.

-jamie.
Posted 11/28/2010 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
Feeling pretty bad today but Sundays have always been hard.  I have so much on my mind about my tests I can hardly even function.

 

I did give my cat a bath today for the first time.  She has been sick alot but she looks a little better.  It would kill me if something happened to her.

 

Just really depressed, came to Mcdonalds for a cup of coffee and an excuse to use my computer.  Just wanted to say hello.

Posted 11/28/2010 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hello faithfully4you

I wish I could bring all your posts and the responses into one thread for you but there is no way to do this with so many great posts.

I am sorry you are feeling sad but knowing you have ventured out of your home and are drinking coffee where there are lots of people around tells me you are stronger then you feel.

Never lose hope in dealing with your fears and depression.  We are your safety net so come here and post your feelings whenever you can.

Take care my friend,

Hugs,

Kitt


 

Posted 11/29/2010 8:54 AM (GMT 0)
Great to hear from you FF4U,

I hope things become clearer on the health front soon.

Thankyou for checking in
Posted 11/29/2010 9:12 AM (GMT 0)
keep fightin' mate. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 11/29/2010 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa,

Did you get my email? I sent you one the other day. I know that you have been struggling for a long time and that the holidays aren't your favorite time of the year. But know that there are a lot of wonderful members here that are thinking about you. Enjoy time with your son. Learn to appreciate every moment. I know that it is hard, but as Kitt said, you are out amongst people that that takes a lot of strength. Keep us posted on how you are doing. I hope that you had a happy Thanksgiving day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted Today 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
GB~ I did get your email and I sent you one back.  :)

 

Had my blood drawn today.  Only 8 tubes today.  Thinking about getting a new haircut maybe I will feel better.

 

Cant believe we got snow last night.  I guess winter is here.

Hope everyone is doing good!

Posted Today 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Getting your hair done always makes you feel better. we have snow on the ground today too. And it is still snowing. Oh well. I guess it was going to come sooner or later. I am glad it waited as long as it did. I hope that we have a mild winter.

Eight tubes of blood, that is a lot. I hope that they find something to help you this time. Let us know the results.

Keep us up to date on what is going on with you. Trying to send words of encouragement, you have been through so much. Are you going to put up a Christmas tree for you and your son? That will be fun to do, if you haven't already.

Take care Teresa.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/3/2010 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
GB~

Thanks so much for your encouragement!!  I just want to know what is wrong with me and how to fix it.  The scary part is that now we are into the expensive tests now.  Don't know how I am going to do it.

 

I have my son this weekend and I was thinking about the tree thing.  To be honest, I don't care if I have a tree but I know that Geremiah will so maybe a small one.  I havent taken my decorations or ornaments out of their boxes for two years so  I may just let him decorate it with some dollar tree ornaments.  I am just really burned out by christmas from being alone, poor and sickly.

 

But other than that I am great.

Posted 12/3/2010 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
I hope that you do the tree this year. And take photos. How old is your son? Just curious. I am glad that you are able to spend time with him.

I hope that you get some answers with your blood tests. It has to be rather frustrating at this point, but don't give up Teresa. Things will come around.

We have snow on the ground now. It is winter here. So pretty, but cold. I hope it is a mild one. Last year we were lucky and had an early spring. Hopefully this year too. My puppy hasn't learned to go out on the chain, so I have to walk her out to potty. Gets cold. lol... But at least she does go outside and not inside. She is really smart, but when I put her on the chain, all she does is cry. I suppose I haven't left her out there long enough so that she will start investigating. I will have to have patience. Don't want to have to go out every time with her.

I hope that you have a lovely day today. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/6/2010 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
GB~

I did get a small tree, actually I found one in a box, it was laying with the contents of a house that had been evicted.  I grabbed it up a couple months ago and I remembered it.  It is really skinny and not very tall but Geremiah and I went to the store and got a things to put on it.  It looks fine just enough for the two of us.  Geremiah always gets me something from the secret santa shoppe and every year I have to open it up as soon as he pulls it out of his bookbag.

 

This year it was a pewter angel ornament.  I started crying and told him how beautiful it was and how much I loved him.  Of course he said, quit crying mom, geezz.

 

 

still waiting on results.  They were sendouts so they take several weeks.  I am now 112ibs and pale.  I look awful!  I hardly leave my home.  When I do, it is a quick trip to the store or library and if I see someone I know I usually turn around before they make eye contact, that is how bad it is. 

 

Hope your puppy doesn't poopy in your house, lol that is the worst smell!

Posted 12/6/2010 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa,

I am so happy that you put up a tree. And that Geremiah got you a beautiful angel ornament. That was so sweet of him to do. Kind of like a good omen I would say. The angels will be watching over you. That is always such a comforting feeling.

I hope to talk with you beforehand, but if I don't, I want to wish you an especially wonderful holiday. It is coming up so fast. I got all my shopping done and all my cards sent out already. Now I can kick back, relax and enjoy the rest of the holidays. Except I don't have anything for my husband yet. His birthday and our anniversary is this month too. But I got all the grandkid's gifts so the most of it is over. They are even wrapped and ready to go!

I hope that you have a wonderful day Teresa. Let us know how the tests come out. Thinking of you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/7/2010 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
GB~

thanks so much for the wishes and I of course wish the same for you!

 

It's funny because I havent bought anything or don't even realize that it will be here soon.  It is like I have no concept of time.  Maybe it is from not leaving my home.  Real depressed today, sick to  my stomach.  I feel really alone lately, more so than I ever have. I am so sorry that I am in this shape seems all the time but I can't seem to get out of it this time.  Negative thinking tells me that it will always be like this, but I don't agree.  Then I heard this saying, "To walk by faith is to walk with blindly" or something along those lines.  I really do feel like that.  Well I just wanted to stop here at the library and get some books and post to you.

 

I do thank God for you guys!!!

Posted 12/7/2010 11:07 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa,

Thanks for the good wishes. I am sorry that you are feeling down. I don't think it will always be that way though. One day at a time, that is all that we can really do. I am glad that you can go to the library and use the computer and check out books. At least you are getting out. I didn't even get dressed today. Stayed in my pjs.

Take care my friend. I hope that you will be able to enjoy this holiday season with your son.

Hugs, Karen
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