spiralling out of control

I take my meds every day.  I see my dr every three months.  I tell her everything that is wrong with me.  So why am I so depressed?  I have formally been diagnosed with MDD with bipolar depression.  My marriage is on the rocks right now and there is nothing that I can do to save it.  I feel I have pushed him away, although we have both made mistakes in the past.  Why am I so dependent on love but so independent in financial areas?  Why can't I get my life straight right now.  I feel like I am spiralling out of control.  I can't sleep.  I can't eat.  I pray for happiness.

I don't have either one of those conditions but I can tell you right now that when I do get down and don't feel good about my life I just think of all the wonderful things that I do have. You pray for happiness, you say. Well then thank God that he gave you a healthy body; 2 legs, 2eyes, a nose, a mouth, teeth and good health (in the physical sense) and a husband. If you focus on the good things it's kinda hard to dwell over the things you can't make sense of. Eventually you'll learn that some things you just can't make sense of. But just appreciate all the good things you're blessed with. There are starving children in the world who don't have parents. Feel fortunate and try to help those less fortunate than you are. I guarantee it'll make you feel 100 times better.