please please please help, broke down long ago and failed to get back up.

Hi Sweetie,

I had to edit your post a little as we are not suppose to be discussing illegal drugs. I am so sorry for the situation you are in. I know that most of us look to our parents for guidance, and when you can't do that it hurts. How old are you? I just wondered.

Not all parents are perfect, but I know that deep down they love you. My mother had problems with prescription medications and alcohol and she made my childhood rather difficult. Then became a roll reversal when I got older, it was like she was the child because I was always having to take care of her.

Try to be supportive. I want to know you feel safe though. Do you have anybody that you can talk to such as a counselor? I hope that you do. I feel that you need that support. And we are support for you too.

Try to take this one day at a time, if you can tell us a little more, we can give you advice. If you feel unsafe in your home, I want to know, okay?

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

IHN-
I'm not sure what all your original post mentioned but if home is just a totally awful place, is there somewhere else you can go? Maybe with another relative or with a very caring neighbor? You would need your parent(s)' permission to live somewhere else, even short term, but maybe that's a possibility.
A couple of resources for you:
National Runaway Switchboard (they don't just help runaways) 1.800.RUNAWAY
Covenant House Nineline
1.800.999.9999

You can also talk to a teacher or another trusted adult, but if you're not safe know that they are required to report that to the authorities and there may be an investigation. Investigations are tough & without ongoing physical abuse usually they don't result in much of anything except maybe making the parents more angry.

But there is hope. Karen made it through a rough situation & so did I. I focused on schoolwork and joined as many after school activities as possible. After I finished with school & clubs, I would go to the public library until it closed. Summers and weekends as soon as I was old enough I got a job at a local retailer & saved up to buy a car and pay for basic insurance. Then, I started working on weekdays during the school year and worked 3 jobs during the summer until the day before I left for college. I got summer internships away from home and never looked back. It's not been easy but I did make it and you can too. :)

Hang in there!
frances

I grew up in an alcoholic household and pray you follow some of the suggestions given here. Especially focusing on yourself and your needs. You are not to blame for anything your parents do and you are also not responsible for the household.

I made the mistake of trying to stand in the middle, to maintain some semblance of control and 'normalcy' in our household and it does not work.

I am now 50 and have been on my own since I was 12. I lived in the house but lived my own life. It is not something I would want anyone to ever try.

Please do take advantage of all the resources available and know that many many others understand what is happening for you. You can have a good life starting as soon as you want.

My thoughts are with you.

Brian