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Feeling unbearably depressed, empty..and my heart hurts so bad ;(

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Posted 2/19/2011 5:11 AM (GMT 0)
I'm a 20 year old girl living in a small town with my family right now, I just moved here to try to save money while I have a job and I really don't know anyone...my moods have been so unstable and I just feel so alone, up and down and I cry all the time for almost no reason..even when 'im just watching tv anything even slightly sad will make me tear up and i try to hide it from everyone because i'm not close to my family.. they're not emotional people...or at least they try not to be it seems. Tonight I feel so low, almost completely empty as if I"m not even a person, yet I have this horrible heartache. The only way i can describe it is the way you feel when you've lost the love of your life and you know you'll never have them back, never have that feeling of love and happiness again...such despair and blackness and I feel stuck ;( I don't even understand how the phsyical pain in my heart can go on this long, I feel I might end up with heart problems if this continues. Does anyone else have a similar experience? and with the heart ache? Any help would lovely and I wish you all the best. I am here to listen...
Posted 2/19/2011 5:37 AM (GMT 0)
 I am experiencincing simmilar feelings right now. my wife of ten years just told me she is leaving. I have been ignored by her for about 5 months. I started seeing a coucelor. it has helped some. I have been telling the councelor to give me the tools to fix my heartache. It actually is quite painfull so I can relate to you. mabey your doctor can reccomend a councelor. Its good to get how you are feeling off your chest. hang in there!
Posted 2/19/2011 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there Hybridmoments,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I agree with the above post, check out counseling. Maybe you should get a complete physical to make sure that there is nothing going on. And talk to your doctor about counseling.

We often feel bad at times throughout our lives, but it shouldn't last so long and not go away. I think you are truly suffering from depression, but a physical would make sure. Take care of you.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/20/2011 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the responses, I hope things get better for both of you as well!

I'm trying to find a therapist and considering medication at least for the anxiety...I'm going through a public mental health center for people who don't have alot of money, so it's a long process :/
Posted 2/20/2011 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
yes it is..............i am doing so, but worth it. hang in there!! sending healing compassionate thoughts to you hybridmoments. jamie.
Posted 2/20/2011 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you jamiee, I'm sending good thoughts your way too..I hope I can find a good counselor that I feel comfortable with. I've been diagnosed as clnically depressed, then bipolar 2, and now I'm wondering if i also/or have bpd because my moods are up and down so quickly, with alot of anger problems...mostly brooding about it and resenting :/ Either way it's a struggle as we all know on this forum! Good luck to everyone getting through today..glad I can kind of vent on here haha
Posted 2/21/2011 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
keep fightin' that good fight. i was dx with severe borderline personality disorder myself, understand it 100%. dbt is the way to go. (dialectial behaviour therapy) around 11 yrs. there is help out there. here for ya. with compassion, jamie

keep posting!!!!!!!

Posted 3/25/2012 11:45 AM (GMT 0)
hybridmoments;iam suffering exactly from same conditions ..
i feel exactly feel like you ..
what shoud i do.??
Posted 3/25/2012 12:25 PM (GMT 0)
Jaguar,

This thread is a year old. I would suggest starting your own thread and explain your situation. You do that by clicking on "post new topic" and introducing yourself.

I am sorry you are suffering so badly. I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and know that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/30/2012 8:11 AM (GMT 0)
You are not alone! I know exactly how you feel. The pain used to be so bad that I began to believe you could really die of a broken heart. And it's not like I had lost someone important to me- just the sheer loneliness you can feel from depression hurts like hell. Things have been a little better since I started medications, but I know my depression isn't gone completely. I am not very good at dealing with my feelings, and I don't like talking to counselors. It's at least comforting to know you're not the only one. If you feel lonely, I find any kind of distraction helpful- anything from reading to going out with people, even if you don't particularly always enjoy the company of other people like me. Hope you are doing better. Much love to you.
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