My depression and mood swings, constant ups and down, worries and doubts about
people judging me, fear of losing the one person closest to me...all of this has just gotten worse and worse. I couldn't sleep again last night, and this was after a long day of activity and panic attacks, so the lack of sleep just put me over the edge today. I went into work and did the best i could (lots of physical activity outside in the heat) but when i finished i talked to my boss...about
how I was feeling so sick and that I have terrible anxiety/depression problems..Ive been throwing up alot too, which might be stress/anxiety, I'm not sure and my whole body hurts from this. She was really understanding, which was the one good part of my day...she said she has a daughter who has gone through some of the same issues, really bad depression and tried to commit suicide. I basically left on good terms with her she said I needed help, but that maybe i could come back in the future...thank god for a nice person like her. I'm still feeling so sick and low though, and tried calling another doctor today who didn't answer. Another thing is just recently I was at a party where I feel I was taken advantage of by a guy while I was veryy drunk and pretty much passed out on a couch. I don't even remember the whole night, just know something happened...was touched...but not actual rape at least I really don't think so. But I have a history of being abused and this added to my anxiety alot..I feel now like less of a person, just being used and unable to defend myself. I told my boyfriend I knew something happened to me at the place and he was upset of course...and now it seems he can't look at me the same :/ He always warned me not to get drunk where I don't know alot of people and he's right...I was just desperate and lonely I wanted to go to a party and drink. BAD BAD IDEA
Post Edited (hybridmoments) : 2/27/2011 10:44:23 PM (GMT-7)