I really need someone to talk to.

I haven't been happy for a very long time. I don't really know how to describe it, how I feel, so if at any point you're confused I'm sorry. I'm just as confused as you are.
I just feel empty i guess. I always think something is going to make me feel better, and sometimes it does, but it doesn't last long. I'm lonley, I feel more and more stupid everyday, I feel like everything I once loved has changed and it's just a shadow now. I feel like a burden. I feel like I'm annoying everyone. I'm trying so hard to be the way I was that now, everything I do is an act. I used to be an honor student, and now I failing half my classes. I just don't care anymore. I want things to change, but I hardly have the strength to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to run away and be someone else. I feel ugly and boring and parnoid and fake. I used to sing but now I can't stand the sound. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, and I don't know where to turn. I don't want to talke to my friends becuase it doesn't help. I tried. I talk, I cry, I feel better for about a minute, and then I revert back to the way I was.

You don't have to respond. Just getting this out there has helped a little.

Hi Neleh,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. It is so cool that you have joined us. I too think that finding things to do is a good thing. And relating good things to smells is good too. It takes your mind off of things and gives you something to look back on as a fond memory.

I also wonder though, are you seeing a counselor? That is the place to start with your mental health healing journey. And you are starting one by coming here. There is a wonderful group of members here to offer support and guidance.

It is good to get your feelings out as you did. Do you journal at all? That often helps, as does going for a walk or exercising. It gets the endorphines pumping. And you feel better. That is what I have been wanting to do, but it is so cold. We got about a foot of snow a few days ago, so I am getting cabin fever. Is it sunny where you are? I go out and try to stand in the sun for awhile, also take vitamin D3. It helps a lot.

I hope that you feel better soon. Do think about the counseling.

Hugs, Karen