Depression is a hard fight

oops didnt mean to start my own forum????? just started and already making mistakes lol

   So just feel like giving some background.... i am a rambler so be prepared lol.

I am married and have one baby girl also my second to youngest bro is living with us he is getting his ged and working which is good our middle brother just moved back in with our mom a few hours away. over the past few years we have had a bunch of "room mates" which were really free loaders. my husband and i were just trying to help our friends (his friends) we've taken in dogs and loaned our yard and sheds for other peoples stuff to have a place to go. its a running joke that we should run a homeless shelter and animal shelter and a storage facility. Truth is we didnt have the means to do all of this it just snowballed as things do. well all of that finally ended and now we just have the 4 of us in a 2 bed 1 bath house. I know what you are thinking all of this is easy to solve just stop and quit trying to fix everyone elses problems..... Well wish i could and i want to learn how! My parents are finally divorced after years of fighting and moving and my dad cheating see when i was in junior high the family moved back to where my moms parents were to be closer to them and my dad went to work out of state and sent the money home. Well that was fine my mom tryed her best baby brother got really sick had a pancreatic tumor had it removed now has diabetes and enlarged liver newest devolopment his kidneys are suffering as well but he is acting like a normal teenager for now which is good. So fast forward to highschool worked all through it trying to help out senior year met my bf now my husband he moved in we got our own house after i graduated. Dad came for xmas stayed at our house (he and mom were off and on) then told my mom wanted to start over blah blah blah. She took him back. Found out i was pregnant after he left. Lost the baby at 23 weeks it was terrible went into labor water broke at home she had a heart beat when we got there. her cord prolapsed before the docter was able to come. she was beautiful she was so small we got to hold her and kiss her and say goodbye. i was 19 bf 21. Ok a week later 2nd in line to the thrown bro was graduating highschool dad and his parents came. Its my fault i knew he had a gf didnt tell my mom we were taught not to tell secrets. he pulled his i want to get back together crap should have said something... a month later get a call from a detective yep she asks if im my mom i say no and tell her she needs to tell me whats going on well she says they have reason to believe my dad has gotten married without divorcing her 1st oh boy. told her to make sure and call me back i was so worried my mom was going to freakout and she did a couple weeks later when the detective called her. well court case followed bf and i moved a few hrs away for new job had a year on our own then got married after we decided we were ready to try again had a high risk but sucsessful pregnancy thought we would have the life we were supposed to the first time but we just kept taking in strays for lack of a better word. here we are today. and it is ok we have ajusted she is healthy she has her own room bro is in the living room. that isnt even half of it we have a very good marriage despite it all. Dad wanted to move here and start over he was an ok dad just crappy husband and trying to keep a relationship with him but is it selfish i just want my own life now dont want all of that to start over im an adult. i want to have choices dont want to play 52 card pick up anymore. just feel like if he came here my mom would be mad my brothers would be uncomfortable and my daughter would want to count on him and he would start his shenanigans. Wow that was a lot i warned you sry to burden you all hope its ok to share that much. thanks for reading *LulaMae*

     Oh and thanks jamie