teenage depression

 i, im new here and i really need some advice because i feel like i cant rely on anyone around me, i have a really nice boyfriend and family, but im so closed and dont like showing what i really feel so this is the only way i can get some help and stuff. well im 16 years old and im a freshman in highschool i moved here to the u.s when i was 9 and things seemed good for a while and i did some dumb things in middle school but i was pretty popular, but things have changed. im not the same person anymore im always sad and i cant help but think negative thoughts i always feel so alone even though people are around me, my close friends barely talk to me anymore and it makes me upset because i didnt do anything to them, i thought the people that knew me for real wouldnt let me down , like the people that dont know me do... in middle school i lost my virginity and high school kids started to know my name and call me a ***** but really im not. i guess guys find me pretty but girls hate me and all they do is say bad things. i walk down the halways and i feel like everyone is looking at me expecting me to do something wrong so they can attack me. i dont know what to do. i used to argue with people when they said bad things about me but now i dont have the strengh to anymore, i keep it to myself and cry. my boyfriend is really popular and girls love him, they all want me and him to break up but he loves me and wont, but that isent enough. they make tweets and posts about me calling me ugly and a ***** and that my bf iss hot. i dont know if this is making any sence but im just extremely depressed and its not just because of this its been this way since i was 12 i would go to my room and cry before i went to sleep, i think im the worst person ever and people dont deserve to be around me, but i really miss the way people were around me before. but since i hear people saying so much stuff i am starting to believe that i am all that and i cant do anything anymore but cry, ive lost so much weight and i dont get hungry at all my mother gives me vitamins but it dosent help.. i wish i could tell her how i feel but i dont think she would understand. i hide my feelings because i dont want to give more reason to talk about me... please give me some advise on what i should do and how i can control depression i want to be happy and not sit in my room at night or after school and cry

yeahh i want to but im so scared to talk to people because im afraid they mmight think im crazy. they might be jealous but i dont understand why they  would do these things i havent done anything.. & now thiings seem to just be getting worst

Hi IGM22,

I'm glad that you are here. I've found it really helps me to post my feelings on this forum. You will find a lot of support and compassion here.

I'm 24 but I absolutely hated middle school and most of high school. I know exactly how you are feeling because I was picked on a lot too. I used to come home crying most days and I felt that I had no one to talk to. Looking back on that time now still makes me sad but I wish I would have dealt with it differently.

What exactly do you like to do as far as hobbies or ambitions for what you would like to do when your older? I think that if you can find a niche, like a sport or a subject that you love and would like to study in college, it will give you something to feel good about and identify with.

I know it hurts when people say mean things but what Karen said is true, people do these things when they are insecure and jealous. If you have a good relationship with your boyfriend then just spend time with him and dont worry about the other kids.

My boyfriend is my best friend too, girls are just very catty and mean sometimes. Do not let them make you feel like you are a bad or ugly person. Those things were said out of jealousy and hate and are not true! You are a beautiful person :)

Keep on posting your feelings I promise it will help,

Hugs and <3

-britt

Post Edited (IWantToSmileAgain) : 6/2/2011 9:09:35 PM (GMT-6)