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why am i here?

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Posted 6/26/2011 8:09 AM (GMT 0)
hi all ,

havent posted in a wee while . been crap . asking myself why i am alive ?

i hate all this pain, hurt and sadness that i am feeling . im always crying and i feel like an idiot . no one seems to understand all the pain im going through and im slipping away . my friends are just telling me to keep holding onto hope and that things will get better , so far , only got worse .  i have nothing to hold onto . im falling into a deep hole and i feel like giving up . i dont want to die , i want all this pain to end . i hate the life that i have . and ive just found out that my nanas breast cancer has probably gone to her bones and if it has she wont have many more years to live , which sux . i wish i would go to sleep and never wake up . if only it were that easy . feeling so down and low . dont wanna do anything anymore . just wanna lock myself in a room and cry . i just wish i was happy , like truely happy . im falling slowly and no one is there to catch me .

im going on too much now .. im gonna stop . sorry . just wanna be heard , understood ....

*sniff sniff*

-jess  cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry

Posted 6/26/2011 8:49 AM (GMT 0)
thank you for sharing your pain jess. know this: you are a precious human being of this earth with gifts and talents unique to only you. just quietly i am struggling to, so i hear ya, ok. fight back. i am. here for you. with healing compassion i send, jamie
Posted 6/26/2011 11:51 AM (GMT 0)
Life is a you know what. There are times when it just seems so hopeless. But things can get better. We just have to ride the wave and hang on. You can do this too Netball. You are a good person.

Jess, I see you signed your name. I will call you Jess. I love that name. I am still half asleep, just got up.

Keep posting, thanks for coming back.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/26/2011 12:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jess: I am an Energy Healer, I can help you by sending positive vibrations.
your pain can be reduced by this....................

Energy Healer
Posted 6/26/2011 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Energy healer,

Are you trying to promote your business or website? Because that isn't allowed on here...
Posted 6/26/2011 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
not at all
I am trying to help and support
Posted 6/26/2011 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
i feel so numb and alone . and so trapped . im sad , angry and lost . i cannot find my own way , but everyone is leaving me behind !
and yes karen , life is an absolute ..... and i hate it !!!!!!!!!!!!
jaimee : i dont feel precious and i have nothing to hold onto .
i just wanna laugh and smiile again and not let it be a fake . i wanna enjoy myself . why cant i get that ? is that too much to ask for ?
Posted 6/26/2011 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Jess,

Know that everybody here thinks you are rather special. I know that you don't necessarily feel that way right now, but I know that you are. You are here for a reason. We all are. I think you are trying too hard, when it is right in front of you. So much of it is our own attitude and how we feel about things. Know that there is a meaning for your life. Sometimes it takes some of us a lifetime figuring it out. Some of us never do. What is important is living. We are all searching. But it is all right here in front of us. I am glad that you came back and posted. I hope that you are feeling better.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/26/2011 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
off to school now , will post when i gt home .
i hop i have a better day at school then what im having right now . but if it doesnt , i just gotta move fwd . thnx for all the support guys . really helps :)

-jess
Posted 6/26/2011 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
I hope to hear that your day was okay. We don't always have good days, but there should be more good than bad, if you know what I mean. Have faith that your day will be good. Let us know how you are doing when you get off of school. Take care,

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/27/2011 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
was doing well at school today until social studies . got an after school detention :(
just had another argument with mum and im not happy at all :(
i want a full good day . not this half and half crap life is giving me . grrrr !
Posted 6/27/2011 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry about detention? Hope the rest of the day was good. Will email you soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/28/2011 6:25 AM (GMT 0)
the rest of the day was crap ! and today was crap ! and my life is crap !

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Posted 6/28/2011 7:56 AM (GMT 0)
sorry to hear that netball. better days await you. with much healing compassion, jamie.
Posted 6/28/2011 8:54 AM (GMT 0)
jaimee : i wish . ive been waiting . i want those days to speed up . im feeling so down and weak . cant sleep , not hungry . crying over small things . ggrrr :|
-jess
Posted 6/28/2011 9:02 AM (GMT 0)
hang in there. can you see a dr? just worried is all. jamie
Posted 6/28/2011 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
im gonna see my councillor on friday if i end up turning up this time and talk to her about it and see what she recons .. thnx guys :)
feeling a tiny bit better today ... gone from :( to :\

-jess
Posted 6/28/2011 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad that you are feeling better. Even if it is a tiny bit. It is better than not. I hope you have a great day at school.

Hugs, Karen
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