Beat down...

Emotionally I am soooo done! Today, well I guess yesterday really since its 1:35 now.. anyways Its been a rough day! Ive been having trouble with my car lately. I was supposed to takee it in today to get looked at and they were having power shortages so said bring it back in the  morning. It was all fine with me! Went home everything was ok.. I went back out this evening to go babysit and ended upgetting stranded. It was about 9pm so medicine was kinda wearing off & I hadnt taken my next dose yet.. I first got out & looked at the struts & wheel to see if I could see if anything broke or messed up further.. Couldnt really see anything other than what I already knew was wrong before hand. I callled my friend to get a ride & tow truck company to tow.. I then called my mom to tell her that I did not like HER car (lol it was hers at this time cuz it was not being nice to me! lol) I tried to avoid crying but it didnt help. I cried for about 15 minutes while talking with her. I finally broke down and asked her to talk to my aunts and grandma and tell them that I really need help to get a new vehicle and that I cant do it alone right now.

I finally calmed down and was able to get off the phone & finish getting the stuff I needed out of the car put into my bag.. Emotions were sooo rapid cyclingg though! It seemed like it went so quick from the tears to being ok for a few minutes to completely pissed off, kicking & hitting the car back to tears and then to ok when the tow truck guy & my friend showed up.

I hate asking for help so I was feeling really low that I had to call my friend.. She took me over to my other friends that I was headed to to babysit which was across town (made me feel bad to interrupt her evenign but at least did give her $$ for gas) I ended up snuggling up with the baby (3 months old) and rocking him to put him to sleep.. I think it did more for me than it did him lol

Totally frustrated still because I know Im not going to have enough money to fix my car and cant get alone for a new one. Took meds about 10 but here it is almost 2 and still wide awake. (I know doesnt help being in frnot of the computer lol)

That is my venting for tonight thoughh... lol mentally exhausted!!!!!!!

thanks jamie :) i get to see my therapist today so that will help! it's been almost a month since I've seen her One of the hardest too I hope you are doing well

Nichole

Hi Nicole,

Sorry about the car incodent. Nothing more frustrating. I hope that they can fix it. Or that you can get a new one. I am starting to worry about our car, it is 11 years old and I can't afford a new one, kind of want to trade this one in while it is still worth some money. Been putting a lot of miles on it lately. Oh well, I guess we all have our vehicle problems. I hope yours gets better though.

I am happy you got to snuggle with the little one. I bet that was comforting.

Hugs, Karen

feek better ScOtt. with compassion, jamie. and welcome 2 the forum from me. jamie

Hi Nichole,

Fortunately, abilify starts working faster than anti-depressants. You could be feeling better within a week. So you have that to look forward to. I think that the negative thinking scared you into thinking worst case scenario. You were afraid that they didn't want you to baby sit. Try to relax and take it one day at a time until the abilify starts working. And I hope it works well for you. It was a lifesaver for me, but not all meds work for all people. Keep trying to think positive. And keep us posted. Are you going to try to get another car?

Hugs, Karen

hang in there nicole. with healing compassion, jamie