HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

facing another dreaded long weekend

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/31/2011 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
I do not do well on these long weekends such as Labor Day comiing up. I am searching for things I can do. I do have plans with a friend on Saturday so that will help me. I am at a loss of what to do on Friday because that is when my boys leave to go visit their dad and "other family." I feel so alone and I know I won't have anyone to talk to. I have been considering going to a movie I want to see but it is at a big cineplex. I am worried about being by myself while everyone else is with someone they have come with. I am a people person and I find it very lonely to do things like this by myself. I am wondering if I should just take the chance and go by myself? It is an early afternoon show. I worry someone will bother me because I am by myself but then I guess that is what the ushers are for. I realistically know that I wouldn't be bothered but I hate people looking at me because I am by myself. I don't have a friend to go with as almost all my friends are away for this weekend. I don't even know what I will do on Sunday but I guess I can always go to the library and browse around.

I have just reached the point in life where i wish things would get easier for me. I never dreamed that in my older years after working for so long, raising children and taking care of a house that all of a sudden my life is such a big void. I try reaching out but nothing has worked yet. I have signed up for a lot of classes, lectures, etc. in Sept. but all I can think about is how to get beyond this lonely weekend. I have posted about this all before so it is nothing new for me to say. Just need some words of comfort or ideas.

Aurora

Posted 8/31/2011 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

It is a dramatic change going from having people in your life to not having anybody sometimes. Have you ever thought about taking a yoga class? I think it would help you relax in a quiet atmosphere and make it easier for you to tolerate being with just you. I myself have never taken yoga. Don't know if I could do it. With all the positions and stuff, but I do a lot of meditation, as I am alone a lot. It does help me to relax with myself alone. Though I always have a dog, and I have a husband, so I don't have the feeling that you have of completely being alone. But I know it isn't always going to be that way. So I guess I am trying to prepare myself for that. Though I don't know if I would have the ambition that you have in finding things to do. And places to go to be around people. I admire your ability to find things to do and to create situations where you are around people. You are very brave in that respect.

If you get too lonely, come here. I will probably be around for the weekend, as of now, I have no plans. We can post back and forth. That will give you something to do for a bit here and there.

Are your sons going to be gone the whole weekend? I guess it is a tradition at this point. Maybe one day you will have a tradition of your own for this holiday. You never know.

Take care. Keep your spirits up. You are very proactive with your life. That is good. Like I said, I admire you for your determination and I hope that one day I will be able to do the same.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/31/2011 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,

I know I can always count on you to give me your support. I returned from my volunteer job this afternoon and of course walked into the silent empty house. All I seem to do is cry. The loneliness just overwhelms me  and I worry about myself when my boys are gone. I have no one to depend on when they are not here. I just feel such isolation. Even though I read or watch TV or needlepoint my mind just goes to that place that is the black hole I am in. It is hard to explain what it feels like but it is such emotional pain. I grew up with a big family and had so many friends when my kids were in school. Now it is just emptiness. I am really tired of always having to go somewhere by myself. It is so difficult to know that your life is so empty as you get older. And I am not that old nor do I look it. I try to stay active and I have hopes for my new classes once the fall starts. I suppose I am being foolish, I do have someone to be with on Saturday. I guess I think too much about all the time I spend by myself. I go places just so I can try to make conversation with someone. I am just so lonely and empty and isolated, I am afraid I will not survive this. It seems to be getting worse.

I hope we can post back and forth this weekend. That at least will let me know someone is thinking about me.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 8/31/2011 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora: I so understand the feeling of not wanting to go out by yourself. But with the guidance of my therapist I have become a lot better at it. Very occasionally, (due to budget) I go out to eat. I treat myself to a Wall Street Journal or a favorite book and bring it with me. I often see families out with Moms with several kids. I figure that if they are looking at me, perhaps they are envious that I am out on my own.

Also, for the few times a year that I go to the movies, I usually go by myself. Believe it or not, but we are not the only ones who do this. We just feel really self-conscious about it. If you get there a little early while the lights are still up, bring along a book to become absorbed in. That might stop you from thinking everyone is looking at you. And if they are, it shouldn't matter anyway. You are having nice quality time by yourself.

I am glad that you have plans on Saturday. That will break up the week-end a bit for you. As for Friday nites, I struggle with them a lot too as my girls leave to go with their father until Saturday night. A lot of times I just go to bed early because I am too depressed to deal with it.

Just a thought, I don't know if you are religious or spiritual. If you are, do you or have you considered joining a church? I have recently gone back and besides the service on Sunday there are sometimes activities that I go to.

Hang in there this weekend. We are not together physically, but virtually you know we're always here for each other. Hopefully, my electricity will be back by the weekend so I can be on whenever I want again.

...Hey, if I have electricity I can also plan to go on chat Friday night. Just let me know what you think.

Cass
Posted 8/31/2011 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cass,

Thank you for your kind words. You have a good and positive way of looking at things. I think I will try and go to that movie by myself. It is one I want to see and you are right that many people do go to the movies by themselves. I will look for you in chat on Friday night.

I rejoined my childhood church last year so I do have church services to go to. They do have some groups and bible study but those don't interest me. I did one bible study last year and it was fine. I really just stick to going to Sunday service. The problem with the groups is that if you join one thing they pull you into doing others and then you have no free time. I am content with the classes and lectures I have signed up for this fall.

Also, Cass, thank you for taking the time to write when you have been through so much with the hurricane. I hope you will have your power back on soon. And I hope you don't have a problem with water. I guess I have to consider the problems that others have been through and be grateful for what I do have.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 8/31/2011 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

I will be around throughout the weekend. I will post back to you when I can. I might do a little blackberry picking here and there, but I will be on frequently. As for if anything were to happen, you know that your sons are only a phone call away. Have you ever thought of getting one of those machines with a button that you wear around your neck. If you were to fall or something you just push the button. There is somebody imediaterly there on this machine where they can talk to you. Just thinking. That is usually for people who can't get around well, so you probably wouldn't need that. But it might cut the anxiety down I was thinking. Do you keep in close contact with your sons? Do they call you on a regular basis as to if you didn't answer the phone they would know that something is wrong? I would feel better to think that they keep in contact with you on a fairly regular basis.

Anyway, keep posting when you feel like it. I can't believe that it is September tomorrow already. I hope that you have a good evening. And I hope that you and Cass get to chat on Friday night. If I see you guys in the chat room, I will pop in too.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/31/2011 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks karen,

My sons keep in regular contact with me so I am sure they would come to the house if i didn't answer the phone. I know about those buttons you can wear around your neck but I wouldn't need that yet and the thing I do is to always carry my cell phone in my pocket so if by chance I did fall I have the phone to call. i just worry about the weekend because they both will be in Michigan and they are 6 hours away. But I am sure I could get help even from the paramedics if I needed it. Also, my neighbor is usually at home. We will keep in touch over the weekend.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 9/1/2011 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
I will be around too. No real plans for the weekend. Maybe I will put pictures in frames. I want to create a photo wall coming up the stairs in my house. I am finally able to do something other than cry. So I want to stay busy. So what better to do than come and post with such understanding and supportive people. Sometime I find myself wishing that we all lived close and could get together. I don't have many friends so I appreciate everyone here. Hugs to you Aurora.
Posted 9/1/2011 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Stillme,

Thank you for your reply. I don't remember if we have posted back and forth but I want you to know how much I appreciate your support. I think it is good you have a project to keep you busy. You are right about wishing we all lived close. We would be a very good group of friends. And friends are truly what I need right now. I am going to try to get out as much as I can this weekend because that is what helps with my sadness and loneliness. I think I am going to brave it and go to the cineplex and see the movie I want to see. I don't think anyone will bother me. I have a very small theather near me where I go by myself to see movies but I have seen what is playing there. So I do hope I have the strength to really go this time. I can't figure out why life gets so much harder when one gets older. You would think it would be a time to have some fun after raising the kids and not having that worry. I never dreamed it would just be me and such emptiness. But I am working on getting myself pulled up from this depression and try to make a new life for myself. Maybe we can talk again, Stillme and you can tell me about yourself.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 9/1/2011 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, It is Thursday, feeling very low. It is so hot here and tomorrow is supposed to be 98 degrees. I was going to go to the movie Friday but i think I won't because of the heat. I know this sounds foolish but my car is old and I never know when it could break down especially with the heat and then I have no one to rescue me. Don't want to take the chance. I guess I will go to the library and look for DVDs.The more I say I will do the less I actually end up doing. I get scared and just do a few little things so I am close to home.

My oldest son is coming for dinner tonight and to do his laundry so I will have some company. I seem to get good ideas for getting out and then i get afraid and I end up at home lonely and sad. I will try to make the best of it. I hope I hear from some of my HW friends so I have some support. Thank you.

Aurora

Posted 9/1/2011 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

I am flusteded today. I bought a new laptop. I got a router today but it wont get me internet. I am just at my wits end with this. It seems like nothing works out anymore. But I know I am just feeling this way due to frustration. I will manage one way or another to get my internet on the computer. I have it on this desktop, but the router isn't working for the laptop. Very frustrating. Oh well.

I hope that you enjoy watching movies. I got a documentary on right now. lol... I don't watch it, just like the noise. lol...

Take care Aurora. I will keep in touch.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/1/2011 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora:  My electricity came back on at 4:30 this morning and by 9:30 I had household internet again.  Woohoo!!!!  (No cable, but hey I really don't care at this point.)

My ex-husband is taking the girls around 6:15 (eastern time) tomorrow night.  Do you want to have a date on chat?  Just let me know.

Also, I can understand why you would be afraid of your car with the heat.  But just a thought:  do you have AAA (Triple A) coverage?  It is not that expensive and has been a lifesaver for me.  If anything happens to your car (including running out of gas - "don't ask") they are just a phone call away.  It has created a lot of piece of mind for me.

Try not to talk yourself out of the movie if you don't have to.  It is a really great escape for a couple of hours.  On the opening day a couple of weeks ago I went to see "The Help".  It was a moving and funny movie.  A definite thumbs up.

Cass
Posted 9/1/2011 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, Aurora60,

People are probably looking at you because you are striking looking:
either you're good looking or carry yourself well, or dress well, or
have an appealing, kind look on your face...or all of these things.

They wouldn't look at you if you were not attractive or pleasant in appearance or emanating kind feelings.

Congratulate yourself and go out more and enjoy the good folks who
admire you. There is a certain appeal in a mild shyness, too.

Enjoy being out among people Aurora--most of them are good people and like other folks. You may be a breath of fresh air for many of them.

I.G.
Posted 9/1/2011 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
Got my laptop going. After a very frustrating day with it. Time to do dishes now. Always something. It never does end does it? Here at 52 I am just realizing that. No wonder I am so tired all the time. lol...

Have a wonderful evening all.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/1/2011 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for your replies. It really means so much to me. My son is here for dinner so at least I have company.My day atually went OK. A friend asked me to go shopping with her so I went out for several hours. She shopped, I looked. But it did help me. The heat today is awful. And tomorrow it is going to be even hotter if that is possible.

I am still undecided about the movie. I am going to the same theather on Saturday with a friend and we are going to see The Help. I read the book and really enjoyed it. Then we will get some dinner. I am still trying to figure out some plans for Sunday and Monday I don't care about because the weekend is over. I just have a hard time going further from my home when I know my boys are not around to help me.

Cass, I would love to have a chat with you tomorrow. Just tell me what time and which chat room you are going into. That would be really nice for me.

It's genetic, I don't know about people looking at me, but if they do maybe because I am blonde(lol).

Thanks all, you have made my evening better.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 9/2/2011 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
LOL Aurora,

I am blonde too with a lot of grey. But I like it. It sounds like you are doing good and using your time wisely. I am sure that you will be busy most of the weekend. That is cool. We have nothing planned for the weekend either. Just going to be another four day weekend. There are already a lot of tourists here. This is their last big shindig before school starts. So it is very populated around here. A lot of traffic. You almost hate to go out in it. But that is the way the tourist communities are.

I hope that you have a good evening. I am going to finish reading posts and retire for the night. Take care. Talk to you again soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/2/2011 10:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora:  I'm sorry I didn't post earlier today.  It was just a busy day with cleaning up my kitchen (I'm still working on it) and the rest of my house.  Also, I had to take my 16 year old to a doctors appointment.  Last, while we are extremely lucky to stil have power my 12 year old has been clingy with me.

I have some errands to run tonight.  I can probably be on between 9:00-9:30 to chat (eastern time.  It is 6:24 at the point that I am writing this).  I hope this is not too late for you.  If it doesn't work I'll be around most of the weekend. 

I hope you are doing okay today.  I've been thinking of you.

Cass

Posted 9/2/2011 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Cass, Don't know if I will be up at that time but will try. I have had a bad day and I hope it doesn't get worse. I lost all power in my house. My neighbor came over and pushed the main circuit breaker and got it started. I called an electrician who came but told me that I have a really big problem and will need some major work done. Also, went to Walgreens and my drs. office phoned in the wrong strength of one of my meds. It was too late by the time I found out so I am without the med until Tues. I feel like I have been on hold with so many people today I am just worn out.

I'll try to come back on later. Hope I don't lose the power again. My boys are gone so don't know what I will do.

Aurora

Posted 9/2/2011 11:54 PM (GMT 0)
If I am up then I will check into chat too. Watching the baseball game now. We are winning so far.

Hope that your evening doesn't get worse Aurora. I hope that you don't lose power again.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/3/2011 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora.  I am sorry you've had such a bad day.  I am a little late getting back home but I will log on to see if you are there.  If not, perhaps we can set up a time tomorrow or Sunday.

Cass

Posted 9/3/2011 11:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora:  I went on chat last night but it was too late.  Please accept my apologies on that.  I am so sorry you had a bad day yesterday.  In regards to your electricity, could you get a few more quotes/opinions?  I know from prior projects in my house that you can usually get a wide variety of quotes.  But I'm hoping that you have electricity today so that you can respond back.

For your medication, is it possible for the pharmacy to get ahold of your doctor?  He could possibly be on call??

Try to hang in there.  I know this week-end may not have started well but there is still potential for it to improve.

Cass

Posted 9/3/2011 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everybody. Laying here doing nothing. Have lots to do. No motivation. Feeling a little down. Hope you guys are doing well.
Posted 9/3/2011 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Stillme,

I hope that you feel more motivated soon. I am the same way. Yucky weather I think is the culprit. Keepp posting. There are a few of us who will be around this weekend.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/3/2011 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cass & Karen,

I went to bed because I was so tired after such a stressful day. So don't worry about the chat. If you are able Sunday evening would be a good time for me but not too late. Even late afternoon about 5 PM woulld work.

So far so good, my power is holding. I am going to get a few estimates before I have the work done. I have one electrician I really trust so I hope he will be free to do the project. Got to get it done soon as I don't need to go thru this in the winter.

Stillme, do what you feel like but don't feel guilty if you just want to sit around. Things will eventually get done.

Take care.

Hugs,

Aurora

Posted 9/3/2011 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora,

I am glad that your electricity is holding out. Did they say what was wrong? Did you overload a breaker? I hope that it is somehting simple and not too expensive to fix. I hate electrical problems. We got a new meter put in and I don't know if it is messed up or if they just haven't been actually reading it, but our electric is rediculously low. I know something is wrong and I don't want to get a huge bill. So I am going to have to contact them and get things right. But having a credit bill every month is nice. But I know it isn't right. So stupid me is going to call them and get this fixed. Am I dumb or what? I feel like I am cheating the electrical company. But it is thier own fault. So what would you do? I want to be honest about it. I think they are cheating themselves. Others would just let it go. But I don't feel right about it. I think it is a faulty meter.

I hope that you have a good day. What are your plans? I am just sitting around right now. Got to get dressed and walk the dog. I enjoy that. It has been raining though. But I wont melt. She might though. she is so sweet. LOL...

Hugs, Karen
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12