beyond done

Seriously, I'm so done. I don't even know where to start. I'm in college and so as usual I've been stressed out about money. I don't dorm and I went to a really cheap school in order to spend as little as possible so my parents would have it easier. HOLY  crap DO I REGRET THAT! They are so mean! I was originally saving up some money to try and go to France with my friend because that's really like ALL I WANNA DO (a lot to ask for right?) which my parents were fine with. Then as I started to get to about a thousand dollars they kept telling me how i shouldnt being going blah blah blah. So they said if i keep saving i can just study abroad next year. So i've been saving. Between books and everything for school it started getting harder so i was stressed out, and over the fact that since they said i could go to france with my friend and backed out how do i know they wont back out about this? My joyous parents decided to help by screaming at me non stop saying how ungrateful I am, and that all i do is have a pity party which is possibly the most hypocritical statement ive heard but whatever. So then the other day my car had some problems. The repair costed 600 dollars. To my surprise my parents said that they would pay for that since they knew I was stressed about money. I thought oh my god things are turning around...nope. Its WORSE now all they do is throw it in my face! The one day i asked if i can go see a late movie, id be home around 3am, (keep in mind Im 19, barely go out that late, and could potentially be dorming which i wish i did) and they wouldnt let me. So i put a facebook status saying theres just no point. Which yea is a little bit of a pity party but big  deal i should be able to go out at this age. So my mom sees it and asked why i wrote it. To avoid drama i told her i was just stressed about money and things about school. Once again i recieved some great help of being SCREAMED at about how im such a loser and that if i cant go thru this ill never go anywhere in life and then continued to say a bunch of other crap. I just can't take it anymore! I hate being screamed at more than anything! I'd rather be beaten. If i wasn't afraid of going to hell, which at this point is prob enivitable anyway so i might as well, .......I know ppl have it worse than me but that doesnt mean my problems arent important which my parents continually fail to see.......

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 9/17/2011 10:21:25 AM (GMT-6)

Hi Karen,
Thanks for your help and your response. I really do appreciate it! :) I do have a job, I work at Old Navy. I just hate the fact that they always send me in different directions like with the whole france trip and then saying i shouldnt go. Then, the study abroad option is still open.....for now but I hate getting my hopes up over these things for them to be crushed. I hate that im never allowed to be stressed without having a "pity party" and ill admit ive had them but even when I don't they just assume i am it sucks. They always tell me to grow up and get responsibility but they only let me grow up when they like it. If for some reason i had to work until 3 am they'd have NO PROBLEM but the fact that i just wanted to go to a movie they don't allow. They never let me stay over a friends house either because they "don't see the point." I would love to be able to move out but i just feel like until im out of school and have the opportunity to work more hours and work full time, that won't be happening :( They're like bi-polar and i cant stand it, they say Oh its going to be so great that you can go to France im excited for you and then the next day they're screaming at me saying why dont u save up for a new car not this stupid study abroad. Im so sick of being yelled at for everything i do. Idk where my life took this turn, it was never like this.

I really think it would help to see a counselor. They would help you to deal with your parents. I hope you do get to study abroad, that would be so cool. I know how hard it is when they promise something and then go back on their word. I had that happen too. I finally broke ties with them in the end. But you have somebody paying for your education and that is important. You wouldn't want to have to take out a student loan and have to pay that back if you don't have to. Best wishes to you. You sound smart and I hope that you go far. Keep up the good work with your schooling.

Hugs, Karen