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Husband with depression

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Posted 11/28/2011 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
I am very new to any sort of forum or chat but am getting desperate as to how I am supposed to handle my husbands depression. He has suffered for about 8 years now. We have been married for 23. He is on some meds but does not follow thru with getting the right meds and/or dosage. He sometimes sees a therapist, but again does not follow thru with any advice. I am at a lose and getting to the end of my rope. I love him very much and want him better so we can live our lives together. I feel myself getting depressed at times because I feel so helpless to help him. How can I handle this?
Posted 11/28/2011 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Doelcam....I don't know if I have any answers for you, I myself have been depressed because, of a chronic pain issue. I would call what I have is mild depression I take an anti depressant for it. I find this helpful, for the most of it.
Did your husbands depression come on all of the sudden or was there an incident that went along with it. Has your husband had his vitamin d checked? Does he get enough sunlight? I know thats sounds funny but, I need sunlight I even bought a sun lamp. Were I live in the winter we do not get enough sun. I hope you do not mind all the questions......it's just the more that gets out there, the better advice you will received.

Keep posting this forum is great for support

Take care, Amy

Chronic pain(nerve),fibro,ibs and mild depression
Posted 11/28/2011 6:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, Doelcam, and welcome to the Depression Forum.

You do have a dilemma on your hands, and I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

Perhaps you could make a chart and post it in
his bathroom so that he could check off the day and time that he took his last medication. If he's on a schedule, as almost all of us are, he will adjust very rapidly to keeping up with it by checking off those items.  You could also help by placing his meds in two small

plastic drawer-type containers: those he takes in the A.M. and those he takes in the P.M.   Making it easy for him to take them is one good way to assist.  (Make sure your chart indicates that he is

taking both the A.M. meds and the P.M. meds.)  The depression could very easily make it frustrating for him to have to keep up with it all.


If he doesn't follow the schedule, you will see it on the posts. Then, if he has missed any, take the med to him with water and ask him to keep up with the routine. It won't take more than a week for him to manage it if he is really serious about wanting to correct the depression.  If he isn't, there really isn't much more you can do. It is not possible to help someone who doesn't want it, Doelcam.

Others might be on later to give you more helpful ideas.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/28/2011 4:05:19 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/28/2011 10:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, If you read my posts you will see I am not the best person to offer advice on depression as I am extremely depressed. Look, in desperation i have read alot on the subject. Some peoples lifes offer lttle rewards, boring mundane work, poor relationships or none, no pleasure in life. I have been told by my psychologist to get interests that i like but I am still looking. Mindfullness helps me focuss and get my mind away from my past and into the present, this helps, but it does not address your depression. Advice to you, be a good listener, support any positive pursuits, dont judge this is the worst for depressive people.
Posted 11/28/2011 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Doelcam,

Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you posted here. As you can see we have a lot of compassionate members. Keep posting. I hope that things get better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/28/2011 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
Have you tried going to therapy together? I never did and it cost me my marriage; however, we did have one session together to "adjust" to our new lives. Until then, I never knew the full magnitude of what I was doing to my/our relationship with my depression until we both sat down with someone - too little, too late, but it opened my eyes. Perhaps your husband needs to see this...if he sees how its hurting your relationship, perhaps that will be his "eye opener". Don't assume he gets it, i.e. what it's doing to you, your relationship, him, etc., I can almost say with asuridty, he most likely does not.

And in your case it's NOT too little, too late.

Best of luck!

-J
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