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Posted 1/15/2012 11:24 PM (GMT 0)
Lately ive been feeling worse and worse, ive been more agitated acting out becoming someone im not changing pesonalitys, i dont know whats going on with me. At the moment im sitting in my room i feel so down im crying i dont know why i have this feeling in my stomach that hurts and im not sick and i this is the only thing i can thinkof that might help. I cant keep pretending to be someone im not at home and school and with anybody else i cant keep putting on a brave face, ive been doing it for so long i do have ebreakdowns leting some one see my vulnrabiltiy but normally i can control it stop it before it happens but on friday i nearly broke down infront of one of my form tutors because i didnt want to talk during circle time i came so close to telling her to crying i cant let that happe. i feel so distant to every one normally musics my escape and it works temparerily i connect with the lyrics but when listning to it its making me feel worse. it helps when it counts but when im alone i cant explain it i just cant deal with anything.
i just needed to get it out you probaly wont be able to help me im probally beyond help. i just want to run away freom everyone and everything but i know it wont work theyl find me or something and i couldnt do it to my family but noone can help noone know what im feeling i cant talk to anyone i know.
i just need something to distract me but i have nothing
Posted 1/15/2012 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bailey-Anne,

Do you go to any counseling? I think that would be a good place to start. Maybe make a copy of your post and carry that in order to explain how you feel.

I think when we get depressed, we tend to isolate. We know we need to reach out but we don't. It took a lot for you to post I know, I am glad that you did. There will be others coming on to offer you support. One day at a time, that is all we can do.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/16/2012 8:46 AM (GMT 0)
hi bailey-anne,

agree with karen about therapy, best move i ever made. it really helps.
maybe a chat with your dr. will help you as well. support group referals,
counselling referals, etc. know that we care, sending many healing
compassionate vibes your way. hang in there.

with kindness, jamie
Posted 1/16/2012 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
It might be good but i cant, i cant tell anyone no one can know how weak i am.
Posted 1/16/2012 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
Real strength comes from facing our fears, our vulnerabilities, our perceived weaknesses.

Real courage is not facing our problems alone but being able to ask for and accept help when we need it.
Posted 1/19/2012 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Ive tried i really have but i cant tell any body. things theyll think, what people would say i cant do it my barriers are strong but this i couldnt handle it if people found out.
Posted 1/19/2012 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
Who's to know, RedQueenNerd, except you and your therapist?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step. Give yourself that opportunity to make big changes in your life for the better.

It's good you're thinking about things in your life that you don't want or like.  You also want to be able to think about things that you do want.  Therapy will help you do that.

Disregard what others think of what you are doing in your life for yourself.  You know best.  (I'm not referring to members of this forum; I'm referring to people on the outside who know you and have an overly curious attitude about your personal life.  Some things are private; they need to learn that.)

Take care of yourself, please.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/19/2012 1:55:25 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/19/2012 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
You aren't being weak by going to counseling, you are being strong. You are dealing with issues instead of ignoring them. You are moving ahead instead of being stuck in the much of depression. Please consider counseling as a way to get better. Hiding from it is being weak. Take that first step to wellness.

Coming here and talking helps. Just what you have posted here is a lot. It should help you to get it off of your chest.

We all understand how you feel.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/19/2012 11:58 PM (GMT 0)
I dont know how I would even go about looking into it my teachers wouldn't be able to help me and if I said anything to them theyd probally get intouch with my parents andthey cant find out there dealing with to much allready.
Posted 1/20/2012 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
Bailey-Anne
My 15 yr old daughter came to me several months ago and laid down in the bed with me and told me "Mama, I'm tired of being sad and mad and not caring about anything"...I was never so proud of her for coming to me and telling me.Things are pretty bad in our house right now, but the best thing I can do is take care of her. And I'm sure your parents want you to be happy.

She is in counseling and taking meds.She still has some bad momnets, but part of that is growing up. She is doing much better and now I feel like she and I can really talk and that means so much to me.

talk to your parents, I knwo the will want to help their child...please sweetie...you have nothing to be ashamed of...tackle thisproblem now

Let us know-you will be in my prayers dear

maggie
Posted 1/20/2012 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
You're in college, Bailey-Anne, and I feel sure that your parents have provided for you to have medical insurance either with their policies or with the college or university you're attending.

Just make an appointment privately on your own to see a local doctor and tell him what you're feeling. He'll know how to help you from that point. If you feel that it's too personal even to discuss with your parents, your personal physician is the way to go, and that's easy enough for you to do as soon as possible.

There's no need for you to suffer something that is making your life unhappy.  It could eventually begin to affect your study habits, grades, and health; so it's important for you to do something about it.

Take care of yourself, Bailey-Anne.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/20/2012 11:04:58 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/20/2012 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Bailey-Anne...It's Genetic has some very wise advice please take it and help yourself. There is not a thing wrong with asking for help, this does not make you weak it makes you strong.

I will keep you in my prayers...

Bless you, Amy
Posted 1/20/2012 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Bailey-Anne,

Please let us know how you are doing. Please take the advice offered. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Depression is an illness.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/20/2012 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
we care.
Posted 1/22/2012 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi the thing is im only 13 I've been through alot and i feel like I have evry one i knows problems on my shoulder and I'm scared I just want to be normal I hate feeling angry andupset at the world anymore. Your the only people I can talk to who knows what I'm feeling and understands
Posted 1/22/2012 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
Bailey Anne

Please please please talk to your mama or daddy...that's what they are there for...I know you think they won't understand, but they will want to help you

My daughter is doing SOOOOO much better and she has friends that lay all the world on her shoulders too but now she knows how to deal with it better. There is help

Let us know
Maggie
Posted 1/22/2012 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Give yourself some time! I hope and pray that u feel better and healthy soon! Take good care of yourself! Keep taking it all out here!

Lots of love!!
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