HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

sexually assaulted, emotionally, physically and spiritually abused, help me!

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 1/29/2012 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
I recently turned 40 and have been battling depression for years. Until about 2 years ago I could manage, now I fight everyday to make it am constantly thinking. My upbringing was very strict as I come from a very religious. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and when I went for help, I was raped by the youth leader. I have issues with women as I was abused emotionally and physically. I have no sense of self and spiritually am searching for a God different than the one I was taught about. The abuse is too numerous to mention, but I am a mess. I am married with 2 children. I have been in therapy on numerous antidepressants and still have no healing. I am ready to give up as the hatred for myself grows stronger each day. I just want some peace and some healing. What can I do?

I had to remove a couple words from your post as we aren't allowed to discuss suicide on this forum.  I understand it was an important part of your post, but it si against the rules.  I am sorry.  Hugs, Karen

 

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/29/2012 5:45:29 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/29/2012 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Dear lowrider......I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I wish I had some miracle answer to give you but I do not, I however can offer a few suggestions but 1st I have to ask a few questions so I can learn more about you. How many therapists have you seen? Does your husband know what you have been through? If so is he emotionly supportive? Do you have any close friends or family members that are close by?

In the meantime know that your Life is WORTH living....there is help out there sometimes it takes many Docs, therapists and medications before you find the right fit...DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

You will find that this forum is full of members that will be able to offer advice and lots of encouragement....keep posting it helps to get things off your chest.

I will keep you in my prayers that you find some relief soon....Bless you

Take care, Amy
Posted 1/29/2012 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
Fist off, you have two kids who love you and a husband who cares about you. Do not give up! You are on this earth for a reason, so make the most of it. Hope that you feel a bit happier soon
Love and luck,
Swim chick
Posted 1/29/2012 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
No, I have no support here at home. It is emotionally abusive here as well. I hide my pain from them. As for therapists, I am on my 4th one who is a Dr. and is very good. But it is the time in between appts. that I fall because I do not know or remember how to use what he is teaching me.
Posted 1/29/2012 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
Let your doc know that. Maybe he/she can explain it in a way you understand and are able to use the information provided for you. Don't give up. Keep trying. Coming here and talking is very good therapy too. So maybe this can help you in between appointments.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/29/2012 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
You are still on this earth because you deserve it. You work so hard by the sound of it. Don't give up please or I will miss you. Good luck?
Zoey
Posted 1/31/2012 4:35 AM (GMT 0)
Highrider,

Welcome to Hw. This is a great place to chat about your feelings. I have to agree with awty. The only one that can change YOU for the better is YOU. Life is full of choices and making the right choices for your healing is up to you. I, like atwy, feel that YOU must take the appropriate steps in your journey to heal. It takes courage and I know that you have it, because you came here for help. I wish you well and you are in my prayers !!! Take care.

Blessings, Michelle
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply