I am new, by LabyrinthQueen

In my opinion, LabrinthQueen, I think you should leave your boyfriend. He isn't treating you right. Nobody deserves to be hit. I am sure that is what is causing your depression. He isn't worthy of your love.

Get yourself clean and sober. We aren't suppose to discuss drugs here so I had to edit your post. But you need to do healthy things for yourself and the first thing is to leave your boyfriend. You will find somebody else that will treat you right.

Keep posting, know that we care.

Hugs, Karen

Your thinking is totally distorted. How can you love somebody that hits you? You don't deserve that. Nobody does. It isn't your fault. You are witht he wrong man. There are men that would put you up on a pedestal. You are not an idiot. And you are worth a lot. The world wouldn't be a better place without you. You are worthy.

Please take this into consideration. You are a worthy person, we all are. You deserve to be loved, we all do. You don't deserve to be hit by anybody. And anybody that would do that, does not deserve you. Please see a counselor, they can help you get things straight.

Hugs, Karen

If I leave him, he'll come after me. He told me if I ever left he would go berserk or kill himself. If he knew I was on this site, you have no idea what he would do. I can't see a counselor because he won't let me.

There are battered women's shelters...go to a Church (catholic) as any church should know how to get you to a shelter...
pack your stuff up when he is gone and go for it....Your life is now at stake if he's threatened you this badly....
If you had Children he could and would hurt them, would you stay with him then...or go to the Police
department....someone out there should be able to help....you are so worth it and so is your future, you
can get away...

Labyrinth,

I am aware and compassionate of your situation, but a bit confused. It seems you know the situation you are in is not as healthy one, as you stated yourself that it made things worse. Love does not require sacrificing your morals or happiness for someone else. Perhaps you are attached to this man because you feel he loves you, but with assistance, you are capable of loving yourself much greater than he, or anyone else, ever will. Many of us here have been in tough relationships and I promise, once you love truly love yourself, life is a lot more meaningful.

You CAN get away. I've witnessed it first hand. Yes, he may come after you, but like others mentioned, there are people and places that provide a safe shelter in those events. You may move to a different area while in those safe places, but their priority is keeping him away from you and getting you back on your feet. The help does exist, but only if you are open to it.

I think you came to this site because you want help. It is ok to be scared of what that might entail, but know that you are worth it and you can do it. You have a purpose here on this Earth and you deserve love and happiness.

I hope find some comfort in the posts you read. He is not all you have... you have yourself, and now, you have us.

Besides, the last time I tried to leave I got shoved down the stairs.

LQ --

Karen is right. NOBODY need to stay in an abusive relationship.

There are organizations in nearly every city that will offer you a place to stay, safety and security, and help getting back on your feet. These are good organizations with caring people who know what its like. They have helped thousands of people just like you.  They will not judge you and they will not let you get hurt.

If you cannot find such a place, one of us can help you find a place if you tell us where you are located.

You are not worthless. You are just in a difficult situation. But you can turn your life around and make it better.

Take the first step. 

Best wishes,

Medved

He isn't going to hurt me. He's just mad because I'm depressed and hear voices in my head. He just wants me to be a better girlfriend. Why can't you see it's not his fault. He can't help that he's an addict. If I weren't so messed up things could be better.

There was a time, back in high school when I had a counselor. She told me to leave him too. I never told her about the voices or the horrible nightmares. I'm on medication. Atarax for my anxiety but I've been taking four or five pills at a time just so I can be slightly relaxed. He thinks it's funny when I start to have a panic attack. And he makes me take some of his stuff because he cares. Even if he would let me, I couldn't see a professional because I don't have the money and I can't get healthcare.

Like I said. I can't afford counseling.

Hey there sweetie,

You can't keep making excuses for his actions. He is mean to you and not treating you right. But only you can do something about it. We can try to convince you, but the choice is up to you.

Here is a free site that might help you. Though with the extent of your depression and anxiety, I honestly think you need professional help. Especially if you are hearing things. I am glad that you recognize the extent of your emotional problems. But you are taking fault for things that aren't your fault or your responsibility. Be careful. I don't want to see you hurt.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

There is also

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

Though I have heard that moodgym is the best. This will probably help you some with your depression, but you do need to do something about your life situation. You deserve to be happy, and feel safe. I hope that you can see that. I Know it is hard. Believe me. My first husband use to hit me the first two years of our relationship when he was drinking. After he stopped he never laid a hand on me. So I was lucky. But I don't know if you are going to be lucky. I don't know if your man is going to change. Please take care. Know that we all care about you and your safety. There are options. You just have to take the steps to do them.

Hugs, Karen

I hope you are okay. Did you want to tell us why you went to er? We are here to listen...

Hugs, Karen