Hello...I haven't posted in here in a little while. Things have really been building up inside of me and I don't know how much more I can take. I've recently been coming off of a number of medications (3 high dosage antibiotics for suspected Lyme disease, which I don't believe I have), including Zoloft. I've been on Zoloft in the past and quit cold-turkey with no problem, but it didn't go so well this time. My doctor told me it would take 3 months to wean off the drug, which I thought sounded too long, it was making me gain weight, it was an added expense, and was not making me feel better, so I just quit. For the past 2 weeks I've been getting these bizarre waves throughout my body, like dizzy spells or waves of weakness that make me nearly collapse. As soon as they come, they're gone. I read a bit on this type of withdrawal symptom and I should only experience it for another week or two. I feel like I'm high when I'm at work because of it, but when I'm sitting down I am fine.
Aside from the drug changes, I am hating my job more than ever. I have managers talking down to me, like I'm not a real lead (supervisor), and they talk to me like I'm stupid. I can't handle being disrespected daily like this. I know that a lot of employers are like this, but it has not been this bad at other stores I've worked at. It's like I'm in high school again - I was an easy target back then because I was quiet, and now it's starting again.
I also cannot handle living at home with my parents anymore, but cannot really afford to move out. I find myself thinking about
doing something that we cannot discuss on here. But I will not go to counseling - counseling is not for everyone, and it will only add more stress (spending time and money with no relief).
I am up to my eyeballs in student loan debt, I have a car loan, and other bills...I do have great credit, but my income isn't enough for me to get my own place and I would still like to at least try to apply to graduate school in the next year or two. But I don't see myself getting in and finishing a graduate degree. Everything just seems so hopeless. Everyday I think about
writing my letter of resignation, even though I've been applying for other jobs and have had no luck. My life is truly empty and I have no one to talk to about
it. I screw up everything, and people just see me as the weird quiet girl.
That's the end of my rant for now. Now really sure what kind of responses I'm looking for...I guess I just needed to vent this somewhere rather than keep bottling it up.
Post Edited (Alaskah) : 4/2/2012 7:48:37 PM (GMT-6)